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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to buy her house and tell her why?

183 replies

StinkyTowels · 16/01/2025 13:59

A few years ago my sister bought a beautiful period property with all original features. Victorian fireplaces, hand crafted bannisters, Victorian carved coving, the head things that pop out of the coving - I adored the house and always said if she sells it, I’ll buy it.

That was of course until she “modernised it”. Stripped out all original features, painted everything white, installed a clinically white and shiny kitchen, lobbed the standalone bath out of the window and replaced it with a spa bath … I kept telling her she was ruining the house but she said I was old fashioned and nobody likes that shit anymore.

The house is historically important, a local famous post lived there, from the outside it looks like a grand Victorian villa. On the inside it look like a London penthouse. It’s awful.

last year she decided to sell it but rather than coming straight to me she tried to sell it for much more than I would have ever paid due to the “improvements” she’d made. LOTS of viewings but no offers - all feedback was exactly the same - put off by interior. Lack of original features etc

So she’s come back to me - I’m now saying I don’t want it either for the same reasons. She’s fuming at me and says I “promised” I would buy it. In its original state I did yes but once she started pulling it apart I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however and is already eying up another house she’d like to ruin/renovate.

AIBU to be glad she can’t sell the bloody thing. It should be illegal to do what she’s done to that belle house

OP posts:
ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 16/01/2025 14:01

YANBU not to buy it if it’s not to your taste.

But assuming there were no restrictions on what she is allowed to do, she was also not being unreasonable to renovate the house to her own taste.

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:02

YANBU. I honestly have no clue why people with a taste for all things modern buy period houses. They need to bugger off to new builds and leave the coving and fireplaces for the rest of us!

BrightOrangeDahlias · 16/01/2025 14:02

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:02

YANBU. I honestly have no clue why people with a taste for all things modern buy period houses. They need to bugger off to new builds and leave the coving and fireplaces for the rest of us!

This!

BeMellowOchreZebra · 16/01/2025 14:03

YANBU.

Your sister is an idiot. Tell her you'll happily buy it at a sensible price when she restores all the beautiful period features she ripped out, as you were only interested in it due to the period character. You are not interested in a modern white box.

A woman did the same to my grandads 1930s house. Absolutely ruined it. All character gone and just white. The stupid woman didn't even bother improving the insulation which was what it actually needed.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 16/01/2025 14:03

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:02

YANBU. I honestly have no clue why people with a taste for all things modern buy period houses. They need to bugger off to new builds and leave the coving and fireplaces for the rest of us!

If they built new homes to the same quality as older homes I suspect a lot of people would - but we’re stuck with the housing stock there is.

Miloarmadillo2 · 16/01/2025 14:03

YANBU not to buy it and to point out that what you admired were the original features.

Being smug about it is unpleasant.

TooManyChristmasCards · 16/01/2025 14:04

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 16/01/2025 14:01

YANBU not to buy it if it’s not to your taste.

But assuming there were no restrictions on what she is allowed to do, she was also not being unreasonable to renovate the house to her own taste.

why destroying a beautiful period house instead of buying a modern one instead?

Pippa12 · 16/01/2025 14:04

YANBU to not want to buy it because it’s not to your taste, but to glad she can’t sell it is pretty awful.

Housing markets are stagnant, not helped by renewed uncertainty around interest rates. It’s likely that hindering a sale.

Mrsbloggz · 16/01/2025 14:04

She sounds like a bit of an idiot, what's she gonna do, sue you?!

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 16/01/2025 14:05

TooManyChristmasCards · 16/01/2025 14:04

why destroying a beautiful period house instead of buying a modern one instead?

Liked the location?

Best house in budget?

”Destroying” is subjective?

Jc2001 · 16/01/2025 14:07

StinkyTowels · 16/01/2025 13:59

A few years ago my sister bought a beautiful period property with all original features. Victorian fireplaces, hand crafted bannisters, Victorian carved coving, the head things that pop out of the coving - I adored the house and always said if she sells it, I’ll buy it.

That was of course until she “modernised it”. Stripped out all original features, painted everything white, installed a clinically white and shiny kitchen, lobbed the standalone bath out of the window and replaced it with a spa bath … I kept telling her she was ruining the house but she said I was old fashioned and nobody likes that shit anymore.

The house is historically important, a local famous post lived there, from the outside it looks like a grand Victorian villa. On the inside it look like a London penthouse. It’s awful.

last year she decided to sell it but rather than coming straight to me she tried to sell it for much more than I would have ever paid due to the “improvements” she’d made. LOTS of viewings but no offers - all feedback was exactly the same - put off by interior. Lack of original features etc

So she’s come back to me - I’m now saying I don’t want it either for the same reasons. She’s fuming at me and says I “promised” I would buy it. In its original state I did yes but once she started pulling it apart I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however and is already eying up another house she’d like to ruin/renovate.

AIBU to be glad she can’t sell the bloody thing. It should be illegal to do what she’s done to that belle house

Not being unreasonable for not wanting to buy it and she is unreasonable for being pissed off about that.

YABU gloating over the fact she can't sell it. That's pretty bitchy. It was her house to do what she wanted with.

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:09

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 16/01/2025 14:03

If they built new homes to the same quality as older homes I suspect a lot of people would - but we’re stuck with the housing stock there is.

That's a very good point actually. In which case I'm liking the concept the OP mooted about such renovations (or I prefer to call it vandalism) being illegal 😁

BigSilly · 16/01/2025 14:13

She will find another buyer who wants it to look modern. I don't understand how she had Lots of viewers and not one looked at the photos in the sales particulars.

MorrisZapp · 16/01/2025 14:14

I struggle to believe she thought 'nobody likes that crap' given that period features are routinely listed in house sale particulars to make them more attractive to buyers. If she truly isn't aware that removing period features diminishes a houses value then she obviously isn't a property person. Or the owner of a television.

MagneticSquirrel · 16/01/2025 14:14

YABNU not to buy it if not to your taste.

YABU to say people can’t update older properties to their tastes and modern standards, it’s not necessarily “destroying”, not should it be illegal just because you don’t think it’s pretty.

New builds are often quite small / flimsier construction and more expensive for same size compared to an older house, so it makes sense for people to buy them and do them up.

However your sister shouldn’t be surprised it that she’s having trouble selling, typically people don’t like the old exterior but modern interior mix.

bilbodog · 16/01/2025 14:15

Could you put back some of the things she has ripped out like fireplaces, dado or picture rails and paint with traditional colours rather than white?

might be able to replace the kitchen doors with a more traditional look?

can you post any pictures from the estate agent listing?

all may not be lost?

Dreamingofgoldfinchlane · 16/01/2025 14:15

It's her house to do with as she pleases - everyone has different tastes. She'll find a buyer eventually. Forget about it and move on.

Ohnonotmeagain · 16/01/2025 14:16

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 16/01/2025 14:01

YANBU not to buy it if it’s not to your taste.

But assuming there were no restrictions on what she is allowed to do, she was also not being unreasonable to renovate the house to her own taste.

No she’s not unreasonable to renovate it to her own taste.

but she must also accept that her own taste is not others and she has devalued the house in the process.

she can’t charger for her taste and refuse to lower the price when no one else likes it.

if she wants to sell she’ll need to drop the price rather than stomping around insisting other people are wrong.

Didimum · 16/01/2025 14:18

You don't have to buy any house you don't want to for whatever reason, but look, OP – I like a Victorian house as much as the next person. I own one, I have retained and restored all its original features. But it's my house – it's no one's museum. Your sister is entitled to do what she wants with it – a likeminded buyer will come along if the house is priced well for its condition, position and square footage.

Stop imposing your opinions on others homes.

kevinsmum23 · 16/01/2025 14:19

Obviously you're not unreasonable to buy a house you don't like, and she is unreasonable to try and insist that you should.

But your post isn't very nice. She did what she wanted with the house at the time. No need to gloat.

MaryWhitehouseExperienced · 16/01/2025 14:32

Pippa12 · 16/01/2025 14:04

YANBU to not want to buy it because it’s not to your taste, but to glad she can’t sell it is pretty awful.

Housing markets are stagnant, not helped by renewed uncertainty around interest rates. It’s likely that hindering a sale.

Sisters can be so terrible to each other, can't they? I can imagine my sister being gleeful if I couldn't sell my house.

ItGhoul · 16/01/2025 14:32

YANBU not to want to buy her house (or any house) but YABU to think people shouldn't be able to make the changes they want to make within their own houses. Personally, I love original features and I wish my house had more of them.

But houses shouldn't have to be museums and the changes people make over the years are just as much part of the house's history as the original features were.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 16/01/2025 14:37

Mandelson did this to his house in NottingHill.

Vandal.

BrendaSmall · 16/01/2025 14:45

If I had the money I’d rather buy an older house more so than a new build, purely because they’re so much bigger, new builds in comparison are a lot smaller!

mathanxiety · 16/01/2025 14:47

YANBU, and what a depressing scenario you described.