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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to buy her house and tell her why?

183 replies

StinkyTowels · 16/01/2025 13:59

A few years ago my sister bought a beautiful period property with all original features. Victorian fireplaces, hand crafted bannisters, Victorian carved coving, the head things that pop out of the coving - I adored the house and always said if she sells it, I’ll buy it.

That was of course until she “modernised it”. Stripped out all original features, painted everything white, installed a clinically white and shiny kitchen, lobbed the standalone bath out of the window and replaced it with a spa bath … I kept telling her she was ruining the house but she said I was old fashioned and nobody likes that shit anymore.

The house is historically important, a local famous post lived there, from the outside it looks like a grand Victorian villa. On the inside it look like a London penthouse. It’s awful.

last year she decided to sell it but rather than coming straight to me she tried to sell it for much more than I would have ever paid due to the “improvements” she’d made. LOTS of viewings but no offers - all feedback was exactly the same - put off by interior. Lack of original features etc

So she’s come back to me - I’m now saying I don’t want it either for the same reasons. She’s fuming at me and says I “promised” I would buy it. In its original state I did yes but once she started pulling it apart I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however and is already eying up another house she’d like to ruin/renovate.

AIBU to be glad she can’t sell the bloody thing. It should be illegal to do what she’s done to that belle house

OP posts:
Dontlletmedownbruce · 16/01/2025 17:15

YABU to be so mean about her taste. Each to their own.

diddl · 16/01/2025 17:16

She took out the original features from a house which holds a significant prominence in the community from the sound of things, she didn't just gut a 1930s semi!

Perhaps someone should have looked into a preservation order or something then?

Tbh I probably wouldn't gut a 1930s semi!

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 16/01/2025 17:18

As a lover of all things origional/traditional this post caused me pain. It sounds like she's ripped the soul out.
I wouldn't buy it either.

TheignT · 16/01/2025 17:20

TooManyChristmasCards · 16/01/2025 14:04

why destroying a beautiful period house instead of buying a modern one instead?

Location, size, price. Lots of reasons.

Genevieva · 16/01/2025 17:28

Is it listed? If it is, she has probably broken the law, as all the original features are automatically included in the listing and can only be removed with listed building consent. Sadly, unless the listing actually specifies them (which most don't) then there is no evidence of the damage she has done. She could, however, rectify it to some extent by reinstating many of those things. It will cost her a pretty penny and she will have to search through antiques shops and reclamation yards, but it is possible.

RobinMcfly · 16/01/2025 17:29

jesus, i always prefer vintage, / old features , modern tech yes but vintage features eg wooden panels , ect like the old style mansion's, those AGA cooker i think they are, things like that

RobinMcfly · 16/01/2025 17:30

Heronwatcher · 16/01/2025 15:46

Example below- perfectly preserved original tiles, loo and stained glass replaced with fake MDF panelling, topps tiles, loo and flush which look like they will break within a year and UPVC window.

the green i like, only thing i like on the right is the gold bars

SerafinasGoose · 16/01/2025 17:32

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 16/01/2025 15:49

I’d have ripped out that bathroom too (other than the stained glass) - wouldn’t have gone for the second option, though.

I think both options are hideous!

I'd have refreshed what's there. Albeit metro tiles are not to everyone's taste I think those green ones beautiful. Some decadent wallpaper to complement above them, new floor tiles, new fixtures in bronze or brass and a simple replacement of the white loo seat with a black one would really bring that scheme to life.

The second option is sacrilege!

Boooooreddddd · 16/01/2025 17:37

YANBU ,I was brought up in a beautiful grade 2 listed 400year old cottage with beams, inglenook fireplaces , wooden staircases etc . This beautiful cottage has been destroyed by current owners ,it was on rightmove and I genuinely didn’t recognise any of the rooms . The beautiful wooden beams have been painted white . It looks tacky and cheap now 🤦‍♀️

WonderingWanda · 16/01/2025 17:39

It's so depressing when people renovate old houses badly. Why don't they just buy a modern box. I can't believe she is now trying to pretend you promised.....did a conversation involving pinky promises even happen? And also she does know they aren't legally binding doesn't she?

DarkDarkNight · 16/01/2025 17:40

Of course YANBU. You ‘promised’ to buy it, but you would have expected her to come straight to you. If she had managed to sell it and make a fortune she wouldn’t have thought twice that you had asked to buy it.

LittleBigHead · 16/01/2025 17:42

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:02

YANBU. I honestly have no clue why people with a taste for all things modern buy period houses. They need to bugger off to new builds and leave the coving and fireplaces for the rest of us!

100%

Vandalising historic houses is awful behaviour. More money than taste.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 16/01/2025 17:44

It's no longer the house you offered to buy due to it not having the original features you were interested.

Like you, others are also disappointed in it's update.

Yanbu.

Longsight2019 · 16/01/2025 17:45

Don’t let her bully you in to it. The interior sounds dreadful and she clearly sees you as a route out of her current abode and in to a new one that she will also ruin.

SerafinasGoose · 16/01/2025 17:46

I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however.

She doesn't have a lot of choice. She can't force you to buy it!

diddl · 16/01/2025 17:52

SerafinasGoose · 16/01/2025 17:46

I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however.

She doesn't have a lot of choice. She can't force you to buy it!

Well exactly!

How is she going to force you to buy it?

If you could source & replace everything that you wanted to would you be interested?

If not it's a no, not a yes at a much lower price!

Atlasvue · 16/01/2025 17:58

Get it for a knock down price and put period features back in.

We live in an 1890s Victorian villa. There was a lot of work done in the 1990s that we ripped out. Actually, they tried to be sympathetic but it wasn’t right. We’ve removed the fireplaces and replaced with what would likely have been similar to the original. We’ve replaced the sash and case windows (they had put double glazing in places) Put back in the high skirting boards.Even painted all the iron work outside a very dark green (this is the original colour they would have been painted in this era, not black)

No it’s not the original fittings but it’s fun researching, trying new skills, looking for a bargain. Can be costly however to use skilled tradesmen.

As someone who values the original features of the property, I’m sure you would have the vision to make it shine again. Just get it at a good price!

Waterbaby41 · 16/01/2025 18:03

YAVU to be fair she can't sell it - downright nasty in fact. NU for not wanting to buy it or not liking what she has done - but "glad she can't sell" - VU.

XWKD · 16/01/2025 18:07

I too would be glad she can't sell it. She thinks she's entitled to have you buy the house after she wrecked it. Serves her right.

NetZeroZealot · 16/01/2025 18:10

Growlybear83 · 16/01/2025 16:19

Oh how I agree with you. I live in a street of large Victorian and Edwardian houses and ours is one of the few houses left thst still has the original layout and most original features. Our neighbours showed us round their house recently after a major extension, and we were horrified by what they, and their predecessors, had done to the house. Almost every original feature has gone, and in common with most houses in the Road, they've got a huge modern extension box on the back, and almost all of downstairs is open plan. It's been done very nicely but it's SO wrong and out of place in a lovely 1970s house. If you want a modern box why not buy a new build rather than destroy A beautiful old house with lots of character?

Do you mean 1870s?

The 1970s wasn't a decade known for its architectural integrity ...

Calminacrisis · 16/01/2025 18:10

Our next door neighbours stripped their house of cornicing, plaster roses, tiled hallway floor, panelling, original doors, picture rails… everything that had made it a beautiful period house.

It now looks like a dental surgery.

I wish they’d bought a new build. It’s clearly the style they prefer.

Growlybear83 · 16/01/2025 18:11

Oops! Yes I did mean 1870s 😆

ScholesPanda · 16/01/2025 18:22

YANBU to buy whatever you like.

It's a shame that the period features have been taken out, I wouldn't do that personally.

However, it's all a bit subjective isn't it? People love a bit of coving but they probably wouldn't want to have one toilet that is outside and a back boiler would they?

Satancreatedhomesunderthehammer · 16/01/2025 18:25

Watch a couple of episodes of Homes Under The Hammer and see the disrespect people have for original features. That and Kirsty bloody Allsop encouraging people to knock walls down and open plan everything.

This thread is reminding me of a lady called Sheila Hughes who lived in Birmingham in the 70s/80s, when the council were ripping down all the beautiful old Victorian properties in places like Erdington. She went and collected up all the fireplaces and tiles from the skips, many of them beautiful old (and valuable) Minton tiles. They would have otherwise gone to landfill. Her family sold off her collection after she died for a small fortune.

Tahlbias · 16/01/2025 18:25

Why would you want to live in a house that has lost its original features? She can't be cross with you, if she has done that!!