To not think the UK is as bad as everyone makes out?

[turkeypasty]

Sorry if this is an odd question but everywhere on mumsnet you see rants about how terrible everything is. I am European and could move abroad, but my son and husband (and myself) are super happy here in the UK, the primary school is lovely, we live in the North in the hills and get plenty of outdoor time... We earn ok but not massively and seem to live a good lifestyle- do you think that people just like to moan or have I got very low standards?! There seems to be issues in every country you live surely... It makes me genuinely think if I should move abroad whilst my son is still young, but then why should we if we are happy here? Just really interested in opinions!

Thinking about it, no one I know in real life is actually complaining about uk life, I only ever see it online. People around me all seem happy here, no talks of moving abroad (even from my international friends!) other than child care costs, people do complain about that!

I think there's an absolute collective denial that so many of the problems people talk about are the result of an ageing population and the consequent much greater requirement for resources to be provided from a dwindling working population. People don't want to talk about it because it sounds like you're blaming people for getting old and not dying but this isn't a UK specific problem, nor is it something a government can easily fix. The essential maths of it means declining living standards because you're trying to support more people on less.

The uk is very dirty compared to a lot of other countries. People littering, spitting and stuff on the floor. Dog shit. No pride and respect for communal areas and other people.

Agree with everyone else, it really depends on your circumstances & where you live but there are definitely broad issues. The NHS is on it’s knees, housing prices are high, childcare costs are huge, lots of councils and schools are struggling despite people paying huge amounts of council tax which then leads to more unhappiness.

I’m similar to you OP in that I love where I live, I love our house, I love the area, we get a lot of time outdoors and live quite rurally so are lucky to have lots of beautiful places on our door step, our local schools are good, so in my standard day to day life I’m happy, but I’m conscious that if any of us were to need A&E, GP, hospital etc we’d quickly realise how bad things are. I’m also aware that even in our village things are changing, there’s a house recently sold round the corner from us that last sold in 2019 for 190k, that same house has just been sold for £353k, no extensions, no building work, new flooring/kitchen/bathroom but none of that justifies such a huge uplift, housing is just becoming unaffordable and it’s happening fast. We’re a young family, both in our 20’s with one child, and we simply got lucky in that we by chance managed to buy our house before the prices have shot up, lots of young families used to buy here but now it’s really out of budget for lots of people which is a shame.

We have friends who moved to the US and have recently bought a home there, it’s huge, 4 bed, lots of land, 3 car garage, swimming pool, for 350k dollars which is around 290k GBP- that price wouldn’t even get you a 3 bed semi where we live anymore.

I agree with this. When I was young I'm the 90's and early 2000's I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. London is still the best city in the world imo but to visit, not live in. But I don't think my children will have the same, either economically or quality of life terms if they stay here. It's also a gerentocracy where the young are held I contempt by so many older people.

I really don't recognise how some people describe the country. I live in a nice but not overly affluent area between Manchester and Leeds and I go into both, they're clean and functional and I don't see anti social behaviour.

We live a nice life but do earn more than average and are blessed with pretty good health. I'm sure if you're on average or below average wage or are unwell life will be very difficult.

I've travelled a lot with work and there's nowhere I'd like to live - lots of America feels quite dangerous with very angry people, I couldn't live with the huge inequality in some Asian countries and the culture in many of them is unacceptable to me. There're some European countries I quite like but I don't think they are very different to here.

Where do people want to live?

I feel the issues with the UK should be resolvable but I only see tinkering round the edges.

The UK is generally fine. However, I find it depressing that social infrastructure and local amenities vary significantly between areas. I believe this disparity leads to unequal opportunities for children in education and employment.

I love living here I feel like all troll posts about the UK recently are trying to cause unrest.

I think quality of life is very variable. I live in a small coastal town in the South East and -leaving aside national issues which are very problematic eg NHS- the quality of life is very good here. Low crime, friendly people, pleasant environment, good schools, etc. I have always felt very safe here.
A few months ago I had to go and collect my teenage daughter from a bigger town about 20 miles away. It was Saturday night and I had to walk the length of the high street, trying to find her. I was shocked at the difference - drunks everywhere, groups of dodgy looking men hanging around fast food shops. I was worried for my safety and my daughter's. That's within the same county, about 20 miles and a world apart.

Simply not the case where I live. I see a lot more dog shit in other countries. My foreign in laws are amazed how diligently people here pick up their dog's poo. It simply doesn't happen in their country. People where I live take great pride in their community. I'm not disagreeing with you but it's not fait to say this is the UK - it's some local areas that are like this.

Generally speaking I agree with you - I feel incredibly fortunate to live in England and I'm not a high earner by any means - neither is DH.

However saying that, I don't have children and I've never had to rely on any kind of government support just to pay the bills, or the NHS for any kind of life changing condition, and I do think that people's experiences can vary massively depending on their postcode, upbringing and education.

I don't think the answer is necessarily to move though - I know a lot of people who have tried the move abroad and regretted it - it can be a massive culture shock to start over in a new country, especially if you're also leaving behind friends and family.

Mumsnet rants and moans about everything – most of which you will not find prolific in real life

Yes agree with you , everywhere has good and bad. I live in Spain and yes it’s cheaper, people are warm and friendly, lovely weather but there are lots of downsides as well ! The men are misogynistic, the plumbing is terrible and the government websites very confusing. You just have to make the most of wherever you are.

You are right, it really depends on so many factors. The thing is, we tried to move to my home country a few years back, and it seemed to me that the job market - even if you have highly desirable skills- is often a lot more complicated in Europe than in the UK and they want a very specific skillset. In the UK, they care a lot more about transferable skills and in my experience, more willing to give you a go even if you don't fit the position description perfectly. We would have ended up commuting an insane distance and the taxes were crazy high (though I appreciate public services are very good over there). Also in kindergarden in my country, there are only like 2 staff to look after 22 children which I think really don't think is a safe ratio. There is beautiful weather there- and most importantly, we would have been nearer to my family- but in the end it just didn't work out...

I totally agree with this. In recent years it's become just so, so rubbish to be here.

YABU, OP.
Sorry.
I absolutely hate it here and don't have much to want for, either.
I would go back immediately, to "Eastern Europe", namely to Prague, where I come from, into
a brand new, beautiful apartment, where life is much better than here for ordinary people (with some money).
Before anyone says off you fuck then, personal reasons (close old relatives) make it not doable.
Hopefully one day, if they don't happen to outlive me.

Prague is absolutely beautiful! One of my favourite cities ever! I am sorry you are struggling and I hope things will get easier for you.

I am not happy with the UK atm, agree with the previous poster that it is shit compared to 20 years ago. I think maybe there was so much hope previously and an upward momentum and now it feels like a race to the bottom. There is a lot more poverty, general cost of living has spiralled. Obviously, there are many more worse places to live, but the hope seems to have gone.

I'm am immigrant & have lived in the UK very happily for 30 years. I don't think I would live anywhere else.

It has changed hugely in that time - but then again the whole world has changed. The idea that anything stays the same is an absolute nonsense.

Before I came to the UK there did used to be a stereotype about "whinging Brits" - I've only just rememered this. I think this stereotype is the source of much that is wonderful about Britain especially the humour.

But yes people like a moan. I don't know if Brits moan more or less than anyone else though.

Very good post, thanks.
25 years ago, exactly, couldn't believe how lucky
I was to be able to settle here. No financial reasons or problems, just my country of origin wasn't enough for me.
Now, looking for a tiny tunnel out again 🙄

I think that the quality of life has got much worse over the last few years. Our governments don't seem to be willing to make tough decisions that other countries do eg. Spain who have said that non-residents will not be able to buy property. Vauxhall used to be predominantly social housing which has now been replaced by huge empty apartment blocks owned by overseas investors a pension funds. Normal people with normal jobs struggle to buy a house or have a good quality of life while at the same time the number of well-paid jobs is reducing. The pressure on children is huge because there are so many of them being pushed towards these few well-paid professions where there are only so many vacancies. I also think that we have all become more selfish and greedy in this country. The Covid pandemic seemed to bring out the worst in people. I think that we all need to look at our own behaviour and how we live ourselves. I see people dropping litter without a thought or shouting at people in shops. There is a huge amount of entitlement eg people demanding a prescription for paracetamol instead of spending 40p to get some.

Exactly this. It depends on personal experience. I've never experienced the excellent healthcare that you have. My Mother-in-Law's experience is much closer to yours.

There are substantial regional variations. There can be substantial variations in the same hospital, same dept. different wards etc. I don't have an UC facility in the area, the waiting times in my local A&E regularly turn up in the Daily Mail and my Trusts are in the Top 10 of the sorts of lists where you'd prefer your rankings to be nowhere near that.

We all pay for the same health service but the differences in what we receive can be truly eye-watering. It shouldn't be down to what feels like serendipity.

I feel a lot of it is the cost of homes
My dh and I had ordinary jobs and could afford a mortgage in the 80s and 90s with a deposit that wasn't a kings ransom to try and find.
People today are working just as hard and owning a home is out of reach ( where I live anyway and it's not even that posh! )
There isn't much to aspire to for so many people , no wonder they are fed up

There’s not that much wrong with the UK, but there’s a good deal wrong with some of the people who live here. Personally, I would say life is better nowadays if you live in the North, and anywhere is better than London unless you have a great deal of money. London is nice, but it’s expensive and full of lots of people who cannot really afford to live there, and have a decent life. Same goes for a few other big cities as well. Away from A&E, and elective surgery, the NHS still functions brilliantly for Cancer patients, other truly life threatening conditions.
If the people who lived here looked after themselves better, looked after their children and old people better, weren’t caught up in Consumerism, weren’t obsessed with class, made considered decisions around how and who they voted for, were kinder and more tolerant towards each other, and truly welcomed those who have a lot to contribute to society then it’s a very good place to live. You do get small pockets, villages, streets where people look out for each other, but all that fills the news is the bad stuff. Terrible for those living it, affected by it, but away from the bad stuff, there are a lot of lives being lived happily, fulfillingly and giving and getting along nicely.
It’s a whole lot nicer than parts of the World where women are second class citizens, where fighting, true poverty, corruption is rife.

The Far East is quite good actually. Women don't have many rights in the Middle East and US.