Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Exs partner continus

89 replies

charco · 16/01/2025 08:40

Dont see how I’m the one in the wrong but let the kids go to there dads anyway even though I don’t want them around his nasty girlfriend . He brung them home last night and put the m to bed in there school uniform? Not happy about it he said I should give him pyjamas to put them in but I think he should put them in his pyjamas for them why do I have to give him pyjamas for? I told him if his gf ever talks to me like that again he’ll never see. the kids again tbh I think she scum for how she thinks she can speak to me and have no respect for me.and he just blew up in my face saying I cant do that and everything she said about me is true and that the things I say about her is digusten. I told him everyone says he has changed since getting with her he’s nasty ever since they got together. Wont act like I didnt say a few things about her to him but he thinks everything I said about her is actually what I am it’s funny she has really done a number on him is jokes.

Just think he is out of order for blowing up on me when all I said was truth and let him know I will be protecting my children form nasty people

OP posts:
Original poster
charco · 16/01/2025 08:44

Want to add he is grounding my son for a week because he has been excluded again saying he won’t be doing anything fun because he hit his teachers and some other stuff he is 4 I don’t agree so he won’t be going to his dads this weekend. Not having my son just sitting there doing nothing for no reason when he should be spending time with his dad it’s really just not on he just picks and chooses when he wants to be a parent to his kids

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 16/01/2025 08:45

OP, for the love of god, grow up.

You need to co-parent with your ex. Stop acting like a stroppy teenager.

Sounds like you need to both have better boundaries.

Original poster
charco · 16/01/2025 08:49

jeaux90 · 16/01/2025 08:45

OP, for the love of god, grow up.

You need to co-parent with your ex. Stop acting like a stroppy teenager.

Sounds like you need to both have better boundaries.

Hard to coparent with someone who picks and chooses when he wants to be a dad .

OP posts:
NewYearStillFat · 16/01/2025 08:50

So your issues are:-

  1. he has no pyjamas
  2. you don’t like his gf

Deal with 1, you need to let 2 go and move on.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 16/01/2025 08:54

charco · 16/01/2025 08:49

Hard to coparent with someone who picks and chooses when he wants to be a dad .

Show quote history

What's your alternative?

You need to do this, and you can either make it difficult for your DC by slagging off their father and his GF, so it's difficult for them to move between the two homes, or you can grow up and accept that you need to pick your battles and put your feelings to one side for their sake.

See the bigger picture. It's not pyjamas.

Tcsha · 16/01/2025 09:00

In the thread you started yesterday it seemed you were the problem. Expecting their step mum to babysit when you don’t like her or want to be around your children, wanting to go on holiday with your ex without his partner or child, berating her for looking after your child and stopping him run amok during a nursery event. You really need to get over this envy and stop using your children as pawns.

mbosnz · 16/01/2025 09:06

I wonder what the next exciting instalment will bring?

CesarSoubreyon · 16/01/2025 09:13

These threads just sound like bored school kids with nothing to do. Would be surprised if real.

Eightdayz · 16/01/2025 09:14

charco · 16/01/2025 08:44

Want to add he is grounding my son for a week because he has been excluded again saying he won’t be doing anything fun because he hit his teachers and some other stuff he is 4 I don’t agree so he won’t be going to his dads this weekend. Not having my son just sitting there doing nothing for no reason when he should be spending time with his dad it’s really just not on he just picks and chooses when he wants to be a parent to his kids

You don't agree your child should be disciplined for hitting their teacher?

Lovely message to be sending to your kids.

Original poster
charco · 16/01/2025 09:16

Eightdayz · 16/01/2025 09:14

You don't agree your child should be disciplined for hitting their teacher?

Lovely message to be sending to your kids.

Show quote history

He already did his punishment with me he spent time is his room the day it happened he is 4 he doesn’t understand what he doing

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 16/01/2025 09:16

You all sound delightful. 🙄

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 16/01/2025 09:23

How do you ground a 4 year old??

You sound like you would be one of them mums which stops the dad seeing the child because you are jealous and can't move on tbf

pickleslag · 16/01/2025 09:23

Why have you started another thread?

NewYearStillFat · 16/01/2025 09:23

How can a four year old be grounded? They don’t go out alone anyway?

How can your ex even ground him if he lives with you?

OP you’re obviously very angry with your ex (I’ve read your last post) and don’t like his new partner, despite wanting childcare from her, but I’m not sure what you want to achieve. I suspect this is fueled by jealously and you need to work through these feelings. Because dragging your kids into your chaotic emotions won’t do anyone any good.

Original poster
charco · 16/01/2025 09:36

pickleslag · 16/01/2025 09:23

Why have you started another thread?

Because there so many comments and no one is listening to what I am replying didn’t know there was a limit to how many posts I can make at once

OP posts:
pickleslag · 16/01/2025 09:38

It's still completely unclear what exactly your ex's new partner has done wrong.

From everything you've posted so far it sounds like you are the rude, aggressive argumentative one.

Original poster
charco · 16/01/2025 09:38

NewYearStillFat · 16/01/2025 09:23

How can a four year old be grounded? They don’t go out alone anyway?

How can your ex even ground him if he lives with you?

OP you’re obviously very angry with your ex (I’ve read your last post) and don’t like his new partner, despite wanting childcare from her, but I’m not sure what you want to achieve. I suspect this is fueled by jealously and you need to work through these feelings. Because dragging your kids into your chaotic emotions won’t do anyone any good.

He has them this weekend and said he plan to do nothing fun with my son for a week I just don’t think it’s right not letting him watch tv or visit his cousins he’s 4 doesn’t understand

OP posts:
Starlight1984 · 16/01/2025 09:40

charco · 16/01/2025 09:36

Because there so many comments and no one is listening to what I am replying didn’t know there was a limit to how many posts I can make at once

Show quote history

Um, you're the one not listening to what anyone was saying. You sound unhinged. Seriously, with the greatest of respects, you need to get some help.

Starlight1984 · 16/01/2025 09:42

Your 4 year old child has been excluded from school for hitting a teacher?

Yeah, there are MUCH bigger issues here than your ex's girlfriend.

DeepLimeBird · 16/01/2025 09:44

It’s really not normal for a 4 year old to be hitting a teacher. You don’t seem too bothered about that though, more bothered about the ex’s girlfriend.

TequilaNights · 16/01/2025 09:45

OP, you have this for a lot more years yet, it would be a whole lot easier if you just found a middle ground and worked together.

Stop the petty back and forth.
I agree he should have his own pyjamas for his children, but if worse comes to it, get a cheap pair for them there, it's for your kid, not anyone else.

Time to be the person you want your children to be when they are older.

NewYearStillFat · 16/01/2025 09:47

Have you considered your four year old is acting out because of their chaotic home life and the combative relationship between you and your ex?

There is so much going on here - and mostly with you.

You mentioned on another thread you have told your kids you don’t like your exes partner because she isn’t nice to you. Can you not see how unsettling that is?

Focus on your kids and not your ex and his GF.

GretaGip · 16/01/2025 09:51

I've just read a thread that you created in December regarding your DS's needs.

It is very articulate with near perfect punctuation. It's an extreme contrast your recent style of writing.

Hmm
sesquipedalian · 16/01/2025 09:51

“he is 4 he doesn’t understand what he doing”

Oh yes he does, and it’s your job as a parent to emphasise that hitting is never acceptable and hitting a grown up will have consequences. At least your ex is trying to address the situation. My DD had a problem with her son misbehaving at nursery - he’s 3 and was rude to one of the teachers - she put a list of things we need to remember on his chest of drawers and goes through it with him. It hasn’t happened since - and yes, he was old enough to understand that what he had done was wrong. You’re making excuses for your DC - you need to be the parent and take charge. If he thinks you don’t think hitting a teacher is unacceptable, he won’t - and the message needs repeating.

NewYearStillFat · 16/01/2025 09:53

GretaGip · 16/01/2025 09:51

I've just read a thread that you created in December regarding your DS's needs.

It is very articulate with near perfect punctuation. It's an extreme contrast your recent style of writing.

Hmm
Edited

It’s has full stops but I wouldn’t say it is a stark contrast.