Exs partner continus

[charco]

Dont see how I’m the one in the wrong but let the kids go to there dads anyway even though I don’t want them around his nasty girlfriend . He brung them home last night and put the m to bed in there school uniform? Not happy about it he said I should give him pyjamas to put them in but I think he should put them in his pyjamas for them why do I have to give him pyjamas for? I told him if his gf ever talks to me like that again he’ll never see. the kids again tbh I think she scum for how she thinks she can speak to me and have no respect for me.and he just blew up in my face saying I cant do that and everything she said about me is true and that the things I say about her is digusten. I told him everyone says he has changed since getting with her he’s nasty ever since they got together. Wont act like I didnt say a few things about her to him but he thinks everything I said about her is actually what I am it’s funny she has really done a number on him is jokes.

Just think he is out of order for blowing up on me when all I said was truth and let him know I will be protecting my children form nasty people

The obvious question being - do you give them back?

Jeez I miss Jeremy Springer! Remember the good old days where this would be on the stage with hair pulling and that bouncer on standby in case someone lost an eye? This would be perfect for the show.

Your poor poor children, I am heart broken for them. Forget about who did what and who is in the wrong, none of you sound like saints

For the sake of your children be the bigger person. Think about what your children need from you to provide stability. You can not change how your ex behaves, but you can change how you react to it. This is toxic

Op : he just picks and chooses when he wants to be a parent to his kids

Also OP: Want to add he is grounding my son for a week because he has been excluded again saying he won’t be doing anything fun because he hit his teachers and some other stuff he is 4 I don’t agree so he won’t be going to his dads this weekend

It’s saddening isn’t it to hear the circumstances in which some children live, at an age where they should just be nurtured and feel safe and loved. Arguing about who puts them in pyjamas!

Isn't there a minimum age to qualify for a Mumsnet account?

Walrus

OP: I hate my ex's new partner as she's nasty and I don't want her around my kids

Also OP: my ex's partner doesn't do enough she should be helping me more with my kids

You can’t withhold contact and complain that they don’t have the kids. I know that they piss you off but you need to consider what you want and play the game smarter. If you want help/contact to happen then stop thinking about withholding contact - if he took you to court then he’d get up to 50%. If you don’t want contact to happen then stop complaining that they don’t help/see the kids.

You can’t say that they say mean words but also say mean words too. Your posts make you both sound equally nasty.

You can be polite with an ex without doing things like going on holiday together. Most new partners would prefer that people holidayed separately tbh and your ex clearly agrees.

You need to accept that you aren’t the number one woman in your ex’s life anymore. Things change and that’s normal and you sound like you have a problem because you’ve lost control. Your ex and his partner clearly know how to wind you up (and vice versa) and it sounds like you are half the problem. Work out what you can change and see if you can shift the dynamic. For example consider not replying to every message that they send (I know that this can be hard but someone needs to be the adult) or if you threaten to withhold contact then stop because it’s really toxic and you could end up with a lot less contact too.

Op you're just awful. You really are.

Are you not tired?

People are listening to what you're replying. They're just not automatically agreeing with your choices.

Thank god. I was wondering if the OP had perhaps lived in a commune and never gone to school

God I would hate my daughter to be in a class with your son. A 4 year old knows that hitting a teacher is completely wrong and unacceptable. Or at least they should be aware of that, if they've got decent parents.

Your ex partner's new girlfriend is not the problem here. You sound unhinged and your poor children are the ones suffering.

The things people have time for when they don't bother to work 🙄

Parenting classes are needed, your child is already feral. ASBO on the way already

Has your son been excluded more than once? He can make consequences at his house, he doesn't believe your (joint) child should have privileges on the weekend due to his behaviour. Maybe his girlfriend has been rude to you- but it also sounds like your e trying to turn the kids against her. He brought the kids back in the clothes they were sent in- he doesn't want to have the clothes he has at your property, maybe that is petty, but he's given you a solution to them not coming home in school clothes- provide pyjamas. Don't engage with his partner if you don't want to, keep engagement with him to a minimum also, but as others have said- this is a long term tho g you need to find a solution to.

Contact isn’t based on the whim of a mum who hates her ex and his gf. You don’t have to agree with his parenting choices. I get that it’s hard but he has equal rights and those dc deserve to see their dad. I don’t doubt he’s an arse but you’re not exactly coming across as great either.

If this is real,I feel heart sorry for the 4 yr old being brought up in this chaotic mess no wonder the child has issues.
I fail to see how the dad can ground him for a week and as a pp said how do you ground a 4yr old.

At 4 he should know he can’t hit people. You need to stop having a go at your ex’s GF and parent your child

@charco sorry but why is he even in your house to be able to put them to bed???

I feel sorry for the kids caught in the middle of all this. You all sound like idiots.

This sounds like a episode of Jeremy Kyle!
You need to have a serious look at why your 4 year old is hitting a teacher, there is obviously a lot going on a home and he isn’t coping. This needs sorting now as it will only get worse!

I really hope this is not a genuine post.....if it is real, please get some parenting classes asap and put your child first.

I’m confused with this. Firstly you sound very angry and frustrated with your life, and secondly a little envious of your ex and his new partner.

The tit for tat niggles are blown way out of proportion, it sounds like your children are picking up on way too much toxicity and it’s coming out in their behaviour at school. At 4 they know what they’re doing and I am with your ex for his stronger stance against this bad behaviour. This carries on he will be excluded over and over again, that lack of education and continuity for your child paints a negative future for him and upset for you.

It’s now time for you to draw a line under your past, regain control over your children’s behaviour and work with your ex not against him. Just buy a cheap pair of pjs or go on your local FB site and people somewhere local usually give away clothes for free.

However tough it feels for you, be the parent your children need and aspire for them for a brilliant future and where they accept and understand boundaries and respect.

I'm not sure he is grounding him for a week - I think he's not taking him out anywhere fun when he sees him at the weekend. Which really isn't grounding him and is a perfectly reasonable reaction to a 4 year old who has been excluded from school multiple times for attacking teachers.