Ways to address smelly husband or AIBU

[Painauraison]

Are most men smelly and don't take care of their hygiene needs??

I need ways to address this because what I have tried doesn't work! Or is this me?

I feel like my husband smells 🤣
My main issue is that he doesn't floss unless I moan at him to do it and I feel like his breath smells very badly, I can smell it when he's sitting next to me. He doesn't want to go to the dentist either.

I go downstairs quite early in the morning and when I come back up to get ready I can't cope with the smell of the bedroom - farts, sweat and bad breath. I asked him to shower at night but he won't. So I open the window wide but then he complains it's cold. He doesn't take much care with his appearance at all, which I fond lazy considering the amount women do.

The conversation usually goes with me trying to address it nicely, him denying it and causing a row. I'm at a loss of what to do! I may be getting the ick...

To those saying flossing doesn't help, next time you do it, sniff what the floss gets from between your teeth! It is foul! Bacteria laden plaque and food debris. It most definitely is part of the reason for bad breath. Just floss. It is important.

Also, does His Smelliness still expect you to want to have sex with him, OP? Because I just couldn't fancy it if he is a shower dodger. You need to just frankly tell him straight. Maybe buy him some floss picks, shower gel and deodorant and leave them in a prominent place if you can't.

No, most men aren't smelly.

You know who's smelly? People who don't shower, don't have regular dental check ups or decent oral hygeine.

He's within his rights to move through the world unwashed and stinking. There might be a woman out there who get's hot under the collar at the thought of sleeping Fungus the Bogeyman, but it's not you. You're within your rights not to want to share your space with someone who doesn't care about themselves, you, or your relationship.

I do think flossing makes a difference a bit. I know if I've eaten garlic and bits get stuck in my back teeth that brushing alone won't remove them. However I agree he needs to brush his teeth twice a day and floss use mouthwash.

If I turned this on my head and I stunk of sweat, bad breath and farts my husband would probably divorce me if I didn't do anything about it and vice versa. It's disgusting.

Most bedrooms will whiff a bit in the morning, if there is insufficient ventilation, because we all sweat and fart at night. Bedrooms occupied by men tend to smell stronger because of testosterone. None of this is an excuse for poor personal hygiene. Showering at least once daily and brushing/flossing teeth should be an absolute minimum standard. Clean clothes also, as I find reworn items accumulate body smells, even if the body was clean when they were first put on.

My DH doesn't smell at all. He is actually very clean and considerate.

@Painauraison you have not stated how long you have been with this smelly skunk! how did you get close enough to have sex with him smelling so badly? does he smell even slightly better after a shower? does he use anti perspirant (deordorant just masks the smell)? why are the kids only brushing their teeth at lunch time when he is already in the shower? why is he not at work at that time anyway? how old is the skunk?

I actually gagged reading this OP

I’m a bit older than most on here. My husband is from an era when there wasn’t much by way of men’s skin care/grooming routine beyond deodorant, many scented soap (same used in face) and shaving products.

but he now manscapes, tends to eat hair, eye brows, nose hair - they get hairier as they age. While I find his feet gross, he does do his toe nails better now.

he regularly goes to dentist and hygienist. I do not make his appointments. He uses teeth cleaning products.

so this is the bar for older men.

my daughter’s boyfriends do all above. Get man pedies, have skin care routine of cleansers, serums, Tiber and moisturisers with spf. Even go for spa days with them, as a couple.

your husband is a slob. He is disrespecting you that he is making you live with this. These are all things he can do something about and very easily.

you now sneed to decide if you’re happy living with someone like this who cares so little about you and is ok with repulsing you. He clearly does not want a living relationship with you. He does not care he is an embarrassment.

This is so much bigger than just smelling. He is selfish, puts himself first even when it inconveniences everyone else in the house even his children. You are so busy juggling everything except a dishwasher unpacking you cannot see what is right in front of you. A lazy, selfish man who smells. I couldn't share a house let alone a bed with this man.

Does he work out of the house? Does he shower before leaving the house so he is just unclean for you at home?

And of course he could get up at a set time every day just like Dh did to be there for the morning before school stuff. Your husband just doesn't want to.

OP said he wakes up in the morning and stays in bed until the last possible second before going into the bathroom, which is when the kids need to brush their teeth but can't get in because of him. While OP is downstairs making breakfasts and lunches for the day. This is all in the morning, not at lunchtime.

Why are you with him?

Are most men smelly and don't take care of their hygiene needs??

Is your bar so low that you need to ask this?

No, most men are clean and hygienic and most women wouldn't enter into / stay in a relationship with a man who was grubby and stank.

He sounds absolutely disgusting, lazy and selfish.
Not normal at all.
Time to rethink your marriage.
You deserve better.
Your children certainly do.

tends to eat hair, eye brows, nose hair Must-be a typo, but struggling to see what for

If I have bad breath it's normally due to a throat infection rather than dental hygiene.

I did hear that whether you find the natural smell of another person unpleasant or not is a sign of genetic compatibility - something to do with genetic diversity leading to stronger immune systems. So, if he is washing at reasonable intervals then not being able to stand his natural smell is a sign of fundamental incompatibility.

With farting it is worth thinking about food. For some reason spring onions really set me off.

He's a child!! Jeez, get rid.

Smelly, lazy and selfish.

Joining the chorus: No, this is not normal, OP.

My DH sometimes showers twice a day, never ever smells despite a heavy exercise regime, and pulls his weight around the house including all laundry. Just as a for-instance.

Disgusting. Why would you put up with anyone you live with/are in a relationship with being smelly and unhygienic? OP, what in your life has made you even question if this is OK?

Good grief. I can’t imagine spending even a day with someone like this…

Your husband tends to eat hair?! I assume this is a typo but I'm really struggling to see what for! 😂

@Painauraison No most men do not go several days without a shower. Holy crap your room must stink 😷

Even if he did sort his hygiene issues out, is he really doing anything at all that makes you want to stay with him? Doesn't sound like it...

I’d be way into ick territory by now @Painauraison . Do you share a bed with this filthy human being? 🤮

Sometime my DP is smelly - like if he has been at work for hours or not done his teeth. I say "dude, you stink".. he says "opps, sorry, i'll grab a shower / brush teeth". Normal. Like if one of the kids stinks... "dude, you stink..."

Equally if I stank I would say sorry / pardon myself and bugger off and sort it!

I think that you have informed him and he doesn't care is more of an issue... we all stink sometimes!

Seems to me like the problem you have with him isn't just because he smells. Its because he is thoughtless selfish and lazy.

To be honest I think the lazy and selfish behaviour is miles more offputting than the poor hygiene, and that's saying something. I can't see him changing his self centred ways either - selfish people don't want to change because they're busy indulging themselves and don't want to stop to consider other people. So it's really down to whether you can put up with it, or should... I wouldn't be able to, not the total lack of respect and consideration to the entire household. It's not just unappealing to live with, but actually intolerable.

I assume he does have nice points but I would struggle see past the shitty selfish behaviours to notice them tbh. I'd be done.

The only time I knew a man who was smelly it turned out he was homeless.
So no, not the norm at all. It's antisocial and gross. Tell him you won't sleep in bed with him, kiss him or fuck him unless he showers daily and sorts out his smelly breath by seeing a dentist.