Childminder and holidays

[FandyRenoli]

Name changed for this as don't want me or childminder to be identifiable. It's long so buckle in!

LO is 1 year old (just) and started with the childminder in September. I'm a single parent, no wider family childcare support. The childminder is new to childminding but does have extensive experience in the childcare industry and excellent qualifications and references. She is married with primary school aged children. LO started with her the week she opened. Childcare is in extremely short supply in our area and I was very happy to find someone so good.

I should start by saying that the childminder (CM) is lovely and the care she provides for LO is amazing. On that front I'd recommend her to anyone.

When we went to look around she said most of the bookings she had were wrap around school care so for most of the day it's LO and one other. At that point I checked that she isn't term-time only as this just wouldn't work for me. She assured me she wasn't and said she would close between Christmas and New year, had two weeks holiday booked in the summer, and might take "the odd day here and there" for a long weekend away or similar, but would give plenty of notice plus bank holidays. All good.

At Christmas she was actually closed from 20th December to 6th January (so not just between Christmas and New year) but we managed.

At Christmas she also sent out a list of the dates she would be closed in 2025. This came to 40 days plus 8 days bank holidays. I really wasn't expecting anywhere near this many- it's nearly double my annual leave allowance and there is absolutely no way I will be given that number of extra unpaid days even if I could afford them (which I can't).

The pattern is also very focused on school holidays. She will be closed either the entire half term or the majority of it for all three half terms - February, May and October - plus a week at Easter, a couple of weeks in the summer and all of the Christmas school holidays.

I will absolutely not get annual leave now for February as this was booked up by other staff months ago, and May and October are key times in my industry where annual leave is only approved in emergencies - one of the reasons I checked CM wasn't term time only.

I messaged CM (politely) about this pointing out I'd checked she wasn't term-time only and that I just couldn't get this amount or pattern of time off.

She replied that she isn't term time only (though by my calculations she's shut for 70% of the school holidays), that she's entitled to annual leave (I agree) and that this is the usual amount of time off for a year round childminder (I'm not sure about that one).

So am I being unreasonable to be surprised/taken aback by this amount pattern of leave, and by the limited notice for leave in February?

What are other people's experiences of this?

Would I be unreasonable to expect some level of compromise from her to resolve this?

I wouldn't be happy either and this is why I chose a nursery over a cm. That being said even though they are full is it worth a call to nurseries anyway purely because you never know and we had one that pulled something right out of the bag for us which I never thought was possible so you never know x

This is why I chose a nursery over a cm. The cm I went to see was fantastic and said she was open year round, but has primary aged kids so I realized she would be off school holidays or have them round the LO which I didn't like. I also don't like if they are doing after school care as it's a lot of car time for the LO. Nursery waiting lists are long around here but add your name to all of them, explain you want to start asap and you'll get one when someone moves for whatever reason. My friend did this last Jan and had a space within 6 weeks, despite me registering at 16 weeks pregnant and only getting on when DD was 15mnths.

Does she have a network of other childminders who can cover when she's off? I presume you don't pay her for hols so you could cover the cost of other childcare?
I was a cm for 5 years and we all helped each other out where we could
For info I used to take approx 1 week in May, 2 weeks at summer, sometimes I took a week in oct or just a couple of days, I would always take the same time off as my children at Xmas so approx 2 weeks.

She’s really screwed you over.

Dies your contract with her say anything about holidays?

You're entitled to 4 weeks unpaid leave per year in 1 week blocks with little ones (max of an amount of weeks total until certain age). See gov site for unpaid parental leave.
Speak to your boss, explain your situation, request paid or unpaid leave for February.
Add your LO to a couple of waiting lists nurseries around you.
In the meantime speak to your childminder see wether she'd make an exception for February or some of February?
And see where you get at

YANBU
but I’m a childminder and I also have children myself in school, I have taken pretty much the same holidays off as your cm. I make sure my parents aware that I take my holidays in school holidays.
she is self employed and she is entitled to take as many holidays as she can afford.
I also put out a letter detailing my planned holidays for the year although I tend to do this at the beginning of the academic year.
in your contract it should state how much notice the CM will provide you with for any holidays she needs or wants to take.
from her perspective she has children of her own and when they are off school they are at home, it can be so hard for children to share their space with lots of different little ones.
she is putting her own families needs first.
if it doesn’t work for you then you need to find different childcare.

I wouldn't use a childminder for that reason. When you have a job you need a reliable child minder who won't be on holiday when you need her. Find a nursery.

YANBU as she's screwed you over, but this is a good lesson to get all your agreements in writing next time.

Could you contact the other parent whose child she looks after and see what they do? I agree that she has misled you. Could you ask cm to include your child in their family time during the school holidays as a compromise to you not looking elsewhere. Is she OFSTED registered, could you look on their website at expectations of leave for your cm. No doubt you are paying a huge amount of money to her and your agreement needs to be acceptable to you both.

She simply hasn't been honest with you. Is a nanny an option whilst you are on a nursery waiting list? Could you do shared childcare with a friend or another parent of the CM for some of those days?

Ask for parental leave for February, I believe parental leave has to be agreed (but I could be wrong).

Is she expecting full pay on all those weeks she isn't available? So roughly 9 weeks of pay where she isn't available to care for your child?

Hi, when i was childminding all my holidays were also in the school holidays as I had school age children myself. I would have the two weeks at Christmas, 2 weeks in the summer, may half term and then the odd extra days around bank holidays I did not work bank holidays. My families were advised of my holiday dates by middle of January At the latest for the year. I did not charge for my holidays. Working 50 hour + weeks I needed this down time. Sadly you will have no say in how many or when your childminder has her holidays. So long as she is giving you plenty of notice as written in her contact she is not doing anything wrong apart from not being entirely honest with you how much and when she would taking

The child is 1 and not at school! No school holiday club will take a baby.

No, the employer can refuse the dates requested but must offer an alternative date. doesn't help the OP though if she needs a specific time in Feb off which won't get approved.

Could you bring your child to work? My parents often did when I was a child (they worked in a bank). I would do some homework, chat to people, draw and watch.

It's a 1 year old. I cannot imagine any workplace that would allow that. Some posters are bonkers.

The only real suggestion is looking for a nanny to do a stint with you for that Feb week. There are websites where OFSTED registered Nannies look for work and have references etc.. it will costly but better than not having a job.
You need to get your name on a nursery list now ready to pick up any spot that appears. Whilst the waiting lists are long you never know when last minute spots come up that you could fill.
Do you have any mum friends who would benefit from some extra cash and could have your little one with theirs for the Feb week?

I feel your pain, similar has happened to me with cm lying to me about how many weeks holiday she was planning on taking and mine essentially works term time only. I've switched to a nursery and had to make do with some fairly grotty holiday clubs for my then 2 year old as the better holiday clubs were for school age kids only.

My heart says CM for babies, but you really are their mercy, mine had a fair few sick days too and it killed me everytime. Nursery is completely stress free and feels much more professional (my cm has never done any progress tracking/paperwork for example) whereas the nursery are much better at that stuff (important in my case because my DC has development delays and other issues so paperwork is needed to prove this to get funding/support/DLA)

YANBU. at all. That is not in my experience having used a CM for 10 years the norm for child minders and I would have struggglee with that even with a Dh to stagger time off with. However she is self employed and entitled to do as she wishes.

Unfortunately, you’ll need£ to look for alternative childcare. What a shame

I would get their name on nursery waiting lists ASAP, contact your local,council to make sure there are no other CMs registered. For February, options could be to hire a babysitter that can cover the whole week (sitters.co.uk), or contact a local college doing childcare courses to see if any 2nd. Students would be available - advertise, interview and get them to do a trial. Are there any nurseries on your way/near to work?

Sign up for a nursery and beg for holiday hours at a nursery/ ta, nanny or similar to do some holiday care to tide you over. The childminder has been really misleading and that’s shit.

She's been really unfair to say she wasn't term time only and spring this on you.

Ultimately you'll need to change provider so get your name down for the nurseries and for any more reliable childminders.

For Feb you could take unpaid parental leave. I hope you may have a better provider by the next lot of holidays!

As your child ages then you can book them into holiday clubs etc. but they are quite young for that. Can you find another mum to share childcare with. Can you work half days and stick them in front of the tv for the other half. It's hell I know...

That is utterly shit. Get yourself on nursery waiting lists asap - they might not all be booked up, I know two new ones have opened up in our town in the last few months and aren't full. Ask on local groups. You can always move if you find one you like better later on (visit lots), but for now you just need childcare.

This is why we went for nursery rather than childminder. Our nursery was only closed between Christmas and new year. If someone was ill they had plenty of other staff and occasionally used agency staff. It only ever closed because of Covid and a one-day heating problem.

A word of warning - most holiday clubs won't take children under five, so this continues to be a problem in Reception if you have a summer-born child.

We use a childminder now for school pick-up (because the afterschool club was completely full - which they did not tell us on the open day). She's closed over Christmas and for two weeks in summer, and I think one other half-term. It's all in the school holidays so works for us (as we use school holiday club and private clubs), and I would guess is less than the 30 days annual leave most people who work full time get.

I think for Feb you'll have to take unpaid leave or use a nanny. Or we have a local business called Baby Poppins which is like help for mums in the home - you might have something similar locally?