Childminder and holidays

[FandyRenoli]

Name changed for this as don't want me or childminder to be identifiable. It's long so buckle in!

LO is 1 year old (just) and started with the childminder in September. I'm a single parent, no wider family childcare support. The childminder is new to childminding but does have extensive experience in the childcare industry and excellent qualifications and references. She is married with primary school aged children. LO started with her the week she opened. Childcare is in extremely short supply in our area and I was very happy to find someone so good.

I should start by saying that the childminder (CM) is lovely and the care she provides for LO is amazing. On that front I'd recommend her to anyone.

When we went to look around she said most of the bookings she had were wrap around school care so for most of the day it's LO and one other. At that point I checked that she isn't term-time only as this just wouldn't work for me. She assured me she wasn't and said she would close between Christmas and New year, had two weeks holiday booked in the summer, and might take "the odd day here and there" for a long weekend away or similar, but would give plenty of notice plus bank holidays. All good.

At Christmas she was actually closed from 20th December to 6th January (so not just between Christmas and New year) but we managed.

At Christmas she also sent out a list of the dates she would be closed in 2025. This came to 40 days plus 8 days bank holidays. I really wasn't expecting anywhere near this many- it's nearly double my annual leave allowance and there is absolutely no way I will be given that number of extra unpaid days even if I could afford them (which I can't).

The pattern is also very focused on school holidays. She will be closed either the entire half term or the majority of it for all three half terms - February, May and October - plus a week at Easter, a couple of weeks in the summer and all of the Christmas school holidays.

I will absolutely not get annual leave now for February as this was booked up by other staff months ago, and May and October are key times in my industry where annual leave is only approved in emergencies - one of the reasons I checked CM wasn't term time only.

I messaged CM (politely) about this pointing out I'd checked she wasn't term-time only and that I just couldn't get this amount or pattern of time off.

She replied that she isn't term time only (though by my calculations she's shut for 70% of the school holidays), that she's entitled to annual leave (I agree) and that this is the usual amount of time off for a year round childminder (I'm not sure about that one).

So am I being unreasonable to be surprised/taken aback by this amount pattern of leave, and by the limited notice for leave in February?

What are other people's experiences of this?

Would I be unreasonable to expect some level of compromise from her to resolve this?

Wow. That’s not working holidays is it

I assume you wouldn't be paying her for those 48 days so almost 10w worth if a 5 day week

The contract should really specify how much time she will be closed for, and how much notice she must give you. I'm surprised hers doesn't.

This is why we used nursery. I cannot be managing someone else's sick leave and holidays. And you don't want to be taking holidays in the school holidays until you absolutely have to!

It sounds alarming on the fact of it, but if that's across the course of the whole year that's the 2 week summer holiday, the 2 weeks at Xmas, and that leaves 12 days, so one day a month on average.

I don't think that's too outlandish for a childminder to take.

No YANBU. It gets my goat that self employed people like child minders act all entitled about holidays. They wouldn't get those holidays if they were employed and wouldn't get any if they were self employed

That is a lot of holidays - how many normal people have that number of days off work a year? As you say its basically double the basic holiday allowance.
I agree with others that she's become a childminder to give herself more flexibility and you're bearing the brunt of it.
All I can suggest is that you get yourself on the waitlist for every single nursery locally and pray some space comes up soon. Even if you have to split across multiple settings.
Agree with others that you can ask about ad hoc availability as well. You're probably going to have to piece together childcare for as much of the time as possible and then go to your company and explain the situation and ask for time off unpaid until you can get more reliable childcare.
This is a warning for you though that these things should have been set in stone in a contract before deposits were paid/your child started.
Our nursery lists the closures almost 2 years ahead so people can plan accordingly.
There is no easy solution here so you're going to have to bear the pain and learn the lesson about getting things in writing first so you're sure it meets your needs.
It's going to be difficult logistically and painful financially in the short term though as you might need to use baby sitters etc to cover some of the days the childminder won't take your child.
Can you WFH at all? Not ideal obviously but might help tide you over on a few desperate days.
This is all not even including the days your child might be excluded from the childminders for being unwell! So you're probably looking at needing even more time off work!
Sorry to say that it is a really difficult situation you've found yourself in.
The first thing you need to do is call every local nursery, explain what's happened and say you'll take any spaces they have as soon as possible including ad hoc. The longer you take to get on the waitlist, the longer until you can get reliable childcare.
Any friends locally who could help with the odd day here and there?

Find another childminder, that’s not ok

Do you have it written down any where (in an email or in a text/WhatsApp) where she says she isn't doing term time and she will be available?

If she has that written down and you've got a copy of it, I'd start by saying that the dates she has circulated are very much term time dates and she has provided you with a false statement of her availability. You need her to be available in February at the very least. You can try to work something for Easter (April) but May is required and we can discuss the Summer holidays when we've been through Easter.

I'd very much treat it as a negotiation at this point and show her where she said she wasn't only offering Term Time care (if you can).

This is definitely unreasonable on her part. More so the face that she has really stretched the truth about not being term time only. You are right to be pissed off OP.

If you have been at your work for 15 years (if I read that correctly) could you speak to your manager and explain the impossible situation you are in? It isn’t really a case of requesting annual leave at this stage, you need to speak to your work about this and ask if they can help you out whilst you sort this out longer term.

Id put DC’s name down on every waiting list that is within reasonable distance and also speak to the nursery and ask if they have even one or two days they could offer ASAP just to tide you over and offer some leverage when speaking with your work.

I won’t generalise but I would say that the childminders that I’ve encountered who only have one or two kids on their books don’t usually give off the vibes(to me anyway) that their heart is really in it. I’ve visited quite a few when looking for childcare for DC1 and 2 and the childminders I ended up going for always had full
books and a really busy and homely atmosphere. The ones who had one or two kids always seemed lacking in energy and often had overcomplicated holiday and time off arrangements:

Yanbu at all.
40 days plus bank hols so 48 days per year is huge. Schools are shut for 65 weekdays per year including bank holidays so she is shut for 74% of school holidays.
She has mis-sold her services to you and lied about what she offers.
You can't make her change whar she offers but a maximum of 25 days a year to match with her customers annual leave allocation is all that is actually reasonable here. You will have to find a different childcare provider.

I would contact the local FE college and ask if they have any level 3 students looking for holiday work. I would do exactly the same with the local schools, asking if any TA’s are looking for holiday work. I would also ask the local nursery’s because they will possibly have gaps as some children might be on term time only contracts or be away on holiday.

@OP what does your contract say?

You poor thing OP that's very bad form from her when she knows you don't have extra help. She absolutely should have been more upfront with you. Get your DCs name down everywhere and start looking for new childcare asap. I totally understand because childcare is very hard to come by around here as well so I totally get it. Ring your local primary schools as they often know of childminders and as someone has suggested try your local further education college.

Some childminders.

Then you have the other extreme of some childminders only taking 2 weeks per year which is also not appropriate. A job as full on as looking after children risks physically and mental burn out and parents should be encouraging these cms to take more breaks.

I take 5 weeks per year, dates given out in January each year.

She won't compromise with you

But she'll soon realise that she'll lose customers if she's rarely available

I was like you. I ended up with nursery for my youngest. It was just impossible.
It works for childminder, especially if she/he can find clients who work term time themselves. It can't work if you have a normal Job with regular hours

My childminder takes 4 weeks plus bank holiday officially. However as holidays approach, she tries to encourage booking on certain days as it’s no viable for her to be working with only 1 child she would be earning less than minimum wage (many of her families are teen time only or adhoc in holidays). It’s not too much of an issue for me as I have 3 so she can always works my days but it might be an issue if you onlyy had one and wanted to stick to your normal working days.

Hi,

That's not the norm in my experience. I've used a CM for 9 years. She's had one week off sick when she lost a close relative and is very reliable. She takes the 2 weeks Christmas break off in line with school, 2 weeks in summer, 1 week in April and 1 week in October. All during school holidays. At times she will do the odd day in her holidays if one of her families are stuck.

However her children are no longer living at home. I think unfortunately if these are the hours she works you will need to find holiday care as others have suggested. I take it there is no charge for some of these holidays? I don't pay my CM if she's on holiday but I would pay if I take a holiday while she is working.

Best of luck. I sympathise.

We had this almost exact experience with out youngest DD's childminder. Our eldest had a different CM and this was not our experience at all with holidays being an issue. In the end we moved her to a nursery, which has been brilliant, and so much easier as also don't need to cover CM illness (or when CM children are ill). Such a shame, as you seem very happy with her otherwise.

This is why we ended up putting DS in nursery-they were much, much easier to deal with and hardly ever closed.

Same here

YANBU. It sounds like your CM is working around her own children’s school holidays, which is fine, that’s her choice but it doesn’t leave you with many options. You are going to have to speak to your employer and see what you could come up with between you - would WFH be an option for some of the CM’s leave? You should maybe put your LO’s name down at a nursery now so at least the ball is rolling with that.

Yanbu but this is why I decided against a childminder- being so tied to their holidays.
She should have made this clearer when you met with her.
Time to make alternative arrangements.

I’d stick it out with the childminder and get your child’s name on a nursery list in the meantime ASAP.

She is taking the piss IMO. Do you pay for her when she’s on holiday? I had to for my ex CM but she never took anywhere near that many holidays.

if she’s new she won’t last long with this… it’s a key factor for working parents…

YANBU

We had a similar problem with the childminder we had for our first child but she wouldn't even give notice before texting in cancelling! There was always something that stopped her working. It meant I'd often have to pull all nighters to get work done after looking after my son all day. It was exhausting.

Our new childminder for our second child is brilliant and takes 4 weeks holiday a year plus bank holidays and a very rare sick day (our son is with her 4 days a week), plus a little extra time off over Christmas. She is so nice she tried to take the sick day unpaid but I insisted we pay her. I guess my point is that a good relationship fosters generosity on both sides. Your childminder has not been honest. Sometimes my childminder has my son with her own children (who are in school) though whether this is allowed would depend on ratios. Have you suggested that to her or is that a non-starter?