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Original poster

To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

1000 replies

MissEloiseBridgerton · 14/01/2025 07:08

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

OP posts:
SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 14/01/2025 08:14

Adelstrop · 14/01/2025 08:08

I'm constantly surprised that people don't walk more, but that's just me I suppose. Only on Mumsnet is driving some sort of badge of honour.

i walk whenever possible, but it’s no good for taking rubbish to the dump or if your destination is along a busy road with no pavement.

soupfiend · 14/01/2025 08:14

My parents didnt pay for me to learn, I had part time jobs that paid for it

Ive got a hospital appointment today, 50 miles away, Im not feeling well enough to drive lately so looked up the public transport option, it would take a myriad of buses and trains and 4 hours to get there. Takes 1.5hrs by car

OH has had to take the day off to drive me there. Unfortunately for the majority of us driving is not a luxury its a necessity. I live in a town in the SE too.

SwerveCity · 14/01/2025 08:15

I had a few manual lessons when I was 18, really struggled and the instructor I had was horrible, she really knocked my confidence and I gave up. Tried again many years later but now it’s so expensive, and I don’t think we could even afford to run two cars so I don’t think it will ever happen. I hate not being able to drive. At 38 now it’s actually embarrassing for me to admit.

MikeRafone · 14/01/2025 08:15

Less 18-24 year old than ever before are learning to drive. So numbers of drivers may drop from 70%

especially as the ageing population will decrease rapidly after 2050

ladygindiva · 14/01/2025 08:15

ThatFluentTiger · 14/01/2025 07:12

People don’t drive for a multitude of reasons, none of which anyone has to justify to you and which are none of your business.

This, in a nutshell. The thing I'm constantly shocked by is people who are unable to step outside their privilege and understand that other people's circumstances are very different to their own, but there you go.

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/01/2025 08:15

Beezknees · 14/01/2025 07:28

I don't, and I don't have any desire to. It's expensive and I don't need to drive. Regarding a tip run, if I ever needed one I'd pay someone to do it but I do not keep clutter and I'm not in the habit of replacing stuff often, if it works I'm keeping it. I haven't needed anything taking to the tip in at least 15 years. When I bought a new washing machine the company took my old one away for me, most companies do that now.

I am single so don't rely on a partner to drive me, I get where I need to using public transport and my legs. When people often waffle about "independence" I think I'm in a far more independent position than a lot of people who do drive, I can cover all my bills by myself and have raised a child completely on my own.

100% this! I can drive but, as my job is within walking distance and I'm au fait with public transport and supermarket home delivery and the local milkperson etc etc, I don't own/ need a car.
Why this snobbery? I assume it's jealousy that we save a fortune by not having to fork out for "finance", fuel, insurance, maintenance etc etc if I need to be somewhere beyond where my legs will take me I'll plan it via public transport/taxis etc etc I wouldn't inconvenience anyone.

Fontainebleau007 · 14/01/2025 08:15

I didn't learn when I was younger nor did I need too, living in a big city where walking or public transport was easy. My parents had licences but my dad never drove and my mum simply couldn't afford to run a car.
I now live in the country and it's difficult. I wish I did learn when I was younger as now driving lessons around here are like £60 per lesson. I simply can't afford it.

ShowMighty · 14/01/2025 08:16

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 14/01/2025 08:08

You’ve nailed the problem here- people not driving and repeatedly asking for lifts. There are good reasons for not owning a car including environmental ones, but constantly asking for lifts is annoying. Better public transport would go a long way to solving this and there are private companies who will take stuff to the dump etc. I can’t drive for medical reasons and avoid asking for lifts unless it’s essential . I will only live in places that have reasonable public transport.

With my friend who constantly asked for lifts I told her about companies who could come and get your rubbish. Her response was “how much is that going to cost??? The dump is free!” We have fantastic public transport where we are. It’s London. You can’t walk 10 mins without a bus stop or tube station. But yet i was asked for lifts all the time. It’s raining. It’s expensive to get to the airport or the trains don’t run at that time. She couldn’t carry a large item by herself. Her kid is ill. Etc etc etc.

If she was to answer on this thread about why she doesn’t drive. She’d just say it’s because she lives in London so doesn’t need to and is happy to get public transport. Which is true she is! Until she isn’t.

ChristmasGrinch24 · 14/01/2025 08:16

I drive but can't do long distance/motorways due to disabilities. Can potter about but after 25 minutes I go all stiff.
Many people can drive but can't afford a car in this climate, or their parents never pushed them to drive when young.

Sharptonguedwoman · 14/01/2025 08:16

Adelstrop · 14/01/2025 08:08

I'm constantly surprised that people don't walk more, but that's just me I suppose. Only on Mumsnet is driving some sort of badge of honour.

Well, our nearest school is 3 miles, (no pavements) and the village in the opposite direction is 2 1/2 miles, (no pavements).
Bur seriously, there are lots of reasons people don't walk. Heavy shopping or school kit/time/disability etc.
I stand by what I wrote on a previous thread, in my view, driving is a life skill. I know I'll get flamed for that. Just my view.
That said, running a car is really expensive.

Putthekettle · 14/01/2025 08:16

Adelstrop · 14/01/2025 08:08

I'm constantly surprised that people don't walk more, but that's just me I suppose. Only on Mumsnet is driving some sort of badge of honour.

Yeah there’s this stat I’ve seen floating about that a quarter of driving journeys cover quite short distances less than a mile that would be walkable for most people.

Emphasis on most as obviously some people have mobility issues.

In 2023, 25% of trips were under one mile, and 71% under five miles.

If we improved public transport maybe more people could get on a bus at least for the under 5 miles journey.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 14/01/2025 08:17

SushiGo · 14/01/2025 07:23

At 17 I had no access to money and my parents would not have been safe to teach me (I watched them get involved in a serious accident while 'teaching' my order sibling)

I did eventually pass my test my test as an adult, but access to cash to fund the lessons was a real barrier for a long time.

You are correct that not being able to drive hugely disadvantages people, and particularly women (outside major cities, somewhere like London, where it probably doesn't matter that much)

If I was in charge of the world we would be giving anyone below the age of 25 living in poverty free driving lessons.

Driverless cars are coming, so this would be a huge waste of money.

Printedword · 14/01/2025 08:17

DH and I are in the learned to drive but didn't like it camp. We gave up in our 20s very happily. I don't generally ask people for lifts though. For some events, it's been offered. We use taxis as well as all the more obvious forms of public transport.

CautiousLurker01 · 14/01/2025 08:17

WhereverElse2019 · 14/01/2025 08:14

The theory test expires after 2 years, not 1. I do see what you're saying though, I had to wait 6 months for my driving test. Luckily I passed or I'd have been waiting another 6 months!

Show quote history

Ah, I might have misremembered (or my DH got the wrong end of the stick!) Genuinely thought it was one year!) that said, some of the instructors around here want pupils to have done the test before they start practical lessons (which I can sort of understand the logic of) so it does eat into the 2 year time frame if they’re only just starting lessons after the test.

ladygindiva · 14/01/2025 08:17

Daisyvodka · 14/01/2025 08:12

I'm constantly surprised how many people see driving as a non negotiable and are astonished that people live without driving... it must be really difficult to not have the ability to think for 5 minutes about reasons why people might not have learned, or choose not to, or situations and lives people have led where they just don't need a car. Thoughts go out to all of you afflicted by this terrible short sightedness disease. It must be really hard to have friends or be a parent when you simply can't envision a life that isn't yours.

Honestly, it's like coming onto a thread and going 'I don't understand why people don't just move somewhere sunnier if they don't like the cold' - really? Its totally impossible for you to sit and think of ANY scenario in which that might not be possible or what someone would want?

Excellent post

Mumistiredzzzz · 14/01/2025 08:17

Op, are you constantly surprised or just continually ignorant? Clearly you had parents able and willing to get your lessons and a car. As did your friends. Many people don't and then the various things that happen in people's lifes mean that it just doesn't or can't happen. It's not truly that surprising.

soupfiend · 14/01/2025 08:17

Adelstrop · 14/01/2025 08:08

I'm constantly surprised that people don't walk more, but that's just me I suppose. Only on Mumsnet is driving some sort of badge of honour.

I walk where I can but if you have kids at multiple after school clubs or activities, need shopping on the way, are coming or going to work, theres simply no time to indulge in that

My nearest supermarket is 1.5 miles away, takes me half hour each way, plus shopping time. Plus I can only buy what goes in my back pack. Driving I can get a whole shop and be there and back plus shopping in half hour.

Newtrix · 14/01/2025 08:17

I'm with you @MissEloiseBridgerton Disabilities aside I don't understand why people wouldn't drive. I only have one friend who doesn't drive but it's always me doing the picking up/dropping off. All my other friends we take turns with. No reason she can't drive.

Ginmonkeyagain · 14/01/2025 08:18

@ShowMighty your friend is an entitled twat. I live in zone 3 London and of course there are something that would be easier by car but all of the things you list are perfectly doable without a car.

MikeRafone · 14/01/2025 08:19

Putthekettle · 14/01/2025 08:16

Yeah there’s this stat I’ve seen floating about that a quarter of driving journeys cover quite short distances less than a mile that would be walkable for most people.

Emphasis on most as obviously some people have mobility issues.

In 2023, 25% of trips were under one mile, and 71% under five miles.

If we improved public transport maybe more people could get on a bus at least for the under 5 miles journey.

Show quote history

Active travel is often really helpful for people with mobility issues. Bike are used as rolling aids to get about, but the hate is terrible towards them www.cyclinguk.org/article/my-cycle-my-mobility-aid-recognising-cycles-mobility-aid

RosesAndHellebores · 14/01/2025 08:19

Adelstrop · 14/01/2025 08:08

I'm constantly surprised that people don't walk more, but that's just me I suppose. Only on Mumsnet is driving some sort of badge of honour.

It isn't a badge of honour, it's a life skill and unless you live within walking distance of everything you need, an essential one.

GroovyChick87 · 14/01/2025 08:20

Yoyooo · 14/01/2025 07:10

I didn't have the money to learn at 17 and parents who didn't care enough to give me the money or teach me.

Same for me. My parents didn't drive either. And I think I have an undiagnosed learning disability to do with mathematics, directions and spatial awareness, seriously. I would not trust myself to do some major damage if I was allowed on the road. It's not for everyone and we're not all the same.

Notimeforaname · 14/01/2025 08:20

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive

Shocked? Really? 🤣
I have no Interest in driving ever, my parents never drove and still dont in their 60's. Totally normal for us. As normal as it is for you to drive...

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 14/01/2025 08:20

I agree. I find it very strange when people can't drive - barring a disability.

It's a part of growing up and becoming independent.

CassandraWebb · 14/01/2025 08:20

There are quite a few medical conditions that mean you can't drive. I have a medical licence it only lasts a few years at a time and I need a doctor approval each time

Some medications mean you can't drive.

Some people suffer awful, horrifying bereavements in a road accident and cannot face getting behind the wheel of a car.

Some people just genuinely don't have the money for lessons. I volunteer for a charity and we are often asked for grants to help fund driving lessons

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