To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

I'm severely dyspraxic with no peripheral vision in one eye. So I think it is better and safer for everyone if I don't drive.

@MissEloiseBridgerton can drive, actually very good, but banned because disabled. Another thread where people don't seem to realise that disabled people exist.

Shes lazy and entitled (plus tight!). I would not be giving her any more lifts

Which is why we’re not friends anymore. 😆
Took a lot of lifts to get to that point though!

Oh great, another thread bashing non-drivers on Mumsnet.
I almost certainly have dyspraxia but growing up in the 80s it wasn't something that was tested for. Learning to drive would be bloody difficult for me. I can barely ride a bike. Some people for various reasons probably shouldn't be on the roads. Right now the expense and time commitment of learning to drive (and possibly not succeeding) feels crippling.
I live in London, get public transport and taxis everywhere and don't ask for lifts. I have a decent career.
But that's probably not good enough for people on Mumsnet.
I probably should never have had children. I'm probably not a proper adult in your eyes. Dont worry, I feel shit about myself on a daily basis and a lot of local mums treat me as slightly suspect and exclude me from things in particular due to the non-driving so rest assured I have at least some "punishment" for not conforming to your standards. So there you go. Justice partially served.

@RosesAndHellebores I mean that is not true for everyone is it? I don't live in walking distance of everything I need, but I have never owned a car. I live in this thing called a city that has buses and trains I can use to get to the places I can't or don't want to walk to.

I was in charge of the world we would be giving anyone below the age of 25 living in poverty free driving lessons.

free buses for everyone would be cheaper and more efficient

I grew up in 80's/90's and everyone I knew my age drove. Lessons tended to start at 17, I was the odd one out waiting until after uni. Mix of paid and parent lessons. My kid sister doesn't drive. She tried but wasn't able to do it. Fine not to drive if you live in a city or big town but not fine to be begging for favours and lifts as a result.

I only learned at 20 but that's because
1 - I come from F all and didn't get 1 inch of financial help with it so had to save, then do lessons, then save to buy a car, then make sure I could afford the insurance and upkeep every month first
2 - I lived in a big city before then and insurance/parking was so expensive there and public transport was easier and cheaper anyway

So yes I would've loved to drive at 17 but just couldn't like many other people who come from a poor background

my choice was to continue paying for lessons or use the money to leave my abusive husband. I wish that I had the strength to stay for longer and complete the driving lessons and test, but I just wanted to get out of there. This was 20 years ago- haven’t had any spare money to pay for lessons since, raising two children as a single parent is expensive.

Independence is also learning to read timetables and navigate the local transport system. Why is driving on some pedestal?!

This

It can't be hard to imagine that many people simply can't?

I used to live in Seoul and the public transport was amazing.

Both the metro and the bus system were very reliable, clean, warm (and cool in summer) and low cost. Even long distance high speed trains were much cheaper and more comfortable.

Trains and buses are far too expensive and unreliable here in the UK. We need to improve that .

Driving isn’t for everyone and shouldn’t be for everyone.

It depends what you mean by disability. I wouldn't say I've got a disability, although maybe I do have undiagnosed adhd? I do have poot self esteem though. I found that there was just too much to take in. You really do have to multi task! If automatics were not around I would not be doing my test in March. Some people do not find it easy at all. If your lucky to have someone to practice between lessons , that helps a lot. If you don't it can be tough to learn.

I learned and passed my test but that was 10 years ago and even then my eyesight even with glasses was on the cusp of the legal distance vision needed. My vision is worse now, meaning reactions are worse and it would just be to dangerous to drive, I’m only 40! Had poor eyesight all my life due to nerves behind my eyes. I could drive but I know I would be a risk to others so I don’t.

Not sure where people who don’t have a surplus £35+ every week and whose family can’t afford to run a car, magic up the money for lessons, or a car+insurance for practice. Do tell. It may be a worthwhile investment, but if the money isn’t there, it isn’t there.

My parents never helped me out when I was younger. Life then got in the way and it wasn't affordable. Now I'm learning, mid 30s. £40 a lesson, no tests bookable for the next 6 months at least. I can actually drive but don't have access to my own car so will have to continue paying weekly for lessons until I can get a test. Then il be too skint to buy myself a car and still won't be driving!
But I walk everywhere, kids walk to school, never ask for lifts, ubers are reasonable prices if i do need to get somewhere and shopping gets delivered etc etc.

If you live in London it's not an essential life skill. I don't drive (this is for the best, trust me) and neither do either of my adult children. My husband used to drive but hated it so we haven't had a car for decades. All fine here. We have excellent public transport, walk a lot and we are saving a lot from not having to pay the running costs of a car, so that's money available for taxis and so forth if necessary. Supermarket shopping delivered. Very, very occasionally (every few years) we ask a friend with a car for help moving something heavy and pay for the petrol.

Obviously if we had wanted to move elsewhere we'd have had to have a re-think. But we don't. We all love living in London and will almost certainly be here for the rest of our lives. We are very fortunate. I'd hate to live somewhere where you can't manage without a car. I've seen what that did to my parents' independence when my Dad's health failed and he couldn't drive any more.

I have 2 adult DC, both of them married. Out of the 4 30-something adults only one of them drives.

Of the three non drivers, one passed their test at 18 and never sat behind the wheel of a car again. The other two have never tried to learn - they are both very anxious people and fear is holding them back.

I agree with you that it is an absolute PITA for the drivers amongst us, constantly being responsible for transportation. IDK how my married daughter tolerates always having to chauffeur her husband (who has a valid driving licence).

OTOH I bloody hate driving and I'm quite jealous of them never having to do it.

It's just not necessary if you live in London and near transport links. Of course, there is the odd occasion when a car would be handy, but 99 percent of the time I don't feel the lack. I'm just used to walking, as is my daughter. I think it's slightly pathetic to be dependent on a car, to be honest, disabilities aside. If you drive your kids everywhere, don't be surprised when they are not great at walking around on holiday!

Why are people still coming onto the thread going 'I don't understand it either' when people have quite clearly explained reasons why earlier in the thread? Am I going completely mad....

Also not all of us ask for lifts- just because you have grabby friends doesn't mean the rest of us are like that... and it's weird that you'd think they would be, tbh.

My husband's parents took a very hands off approach to him learning. He wasn't interested in learning right then so they didn't get him to take lessons. This also applied to cooking and cleaning.

It's his responsibility to learn now, but I'm not going to raise my son into thinking things like that can be put off and learned later. It's much much easier to learn all such things when you're being supported in the home.

Never been essential for me in my 35 years on the planet.

£40 a lesson, no tests bookable for the next 6 months at least. I can actually drive but don't have access to my own car so will have to continue paying weekly for lessons until I can get a test

This is basically a perfect depiction of the scenario I outlined upthread in regards to difficulty with passing tests nowadays. Some people don’t have a clue about the current learning to driving situation or they do but utterly lack imagination and empathy as to how it can impact people.

People’s disposable income has been getting less and less since 2010. Not everyone has a spare couple of hundred a month.

For years I had two colleagues who didn’t drive, but managed with Shanks’ Pony* and public transport (admittedly very good here) and never once asked for lifts.

I was one of 4 children, and none of us had lessons paid for by parents. We all learned in our early 20s and paid for lessons ourselves.

Like just about everything else, the cost of lessons and insurance - especially for new young drivers - have shot up now. Dh and I paid for dds to learn at 17, but even years ago it cost ££££, especially since it took them both 3 goes to pass. But at least, by the time they did, we knew they’d had plenty of practice in busy traffic.

*Can’t help wondering how many younger people will never have heard that expression!