To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

….well, that seems to be that.

@TriangleLight has pronounced, and - though completely unsupported - the assertion must be taken as definitive, because surely no one would say something that concisely, that unarguably unless they knew it to be an undentable and universal truth. We can end the thread here. The last word has been spoken, and trianglelight spake it.

Or, on the other hand…..what the fuck are you on about?

I haven't been in a car since 30th December. In what sense am I always getting ferried around?

Maybe we'd have a better world if people actually considered their choices and didn't automatically do anything because it's "just what you do"?

I had friends who didn't learn to drive at 17 (private school, nobody was poor). Also had one friend who did and a few days after passing the test drove her father's car into a tree and died. That put me off a bit. Anyway, I was going to university and would have had neither the money to run a car nor anywhere to park it (and no need for it anyway). I can't even remember if my parents mentioned it or offered to pay for lessons (probably). I remember being a bit baffled at the idea that anyone could cope with such a thing while also doing A-levels. Had some lessons at 20, couldn't do it, gave up. Ended up learning at 33. Might have got there a lot earlier if I'd realized you are allowed to just learn / qualify in automatics.

I'm constantly surprised that some people don't seem to understand that some people (with no disabilities) CAN'T drive - can't get the hang of it no matter how many lessons they have, can't pass the test no matter how many times they take it. I don't think I'd ever have got there on a manual. (Then there's the ones who can't seem to grasp the concept of someone not having the money to buy / run a car, nor any prospect of ever having enough money... but that's just MN, I guess).

Here’s an example. Me and man are going away for weekend. Train is extortionate and unreliable on Sunday. It’s a three and a half hour drive from mine to the place. If I drop him home it adds an hour to my return journey as i need to pass mine and go to his and back.

But I feel mean not to do it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Not your car though, was it? And that was only two weeks ago

Thank you! At last, sense

And yet I’ve lived all over the world and used public transport safely with common sense precautions. Being in a car exposes you to different risks and prevents you from forming accurate assessments of risk in the world outside your bubble.

Drop him to yours and let him get a taxi from there. I wouldn't expect anyone to do this.

It's the household car, which comes out of the household budget. DH wanted to go somewhere, I went with him. How is that ferrying around?

I tried to learn in my 20’s but had a learning block with the gears - I am slow processing - now too late to learn in my 50’s and too nervous of other aggressive drivers

Taxi is £40

I feel bad

I've tried to learn a few times (age 35) it makes me feel physically sick just thinking about driving but it would make my life a lot easier if I could. Nervesis the thing holding me back.

It is a bit scary, but you get over it! Worth persevering

I'm certainly not. I don't even have anyone to ferry me around! I don't have a partner and it's just me and teen DS at home.

The last time I was in a car was on boxing day and that was a taxi, if you count paying for a service as being "ferried around".

Um, duh! No.
Due to my mental health issues and lack of jobs and fear.
Your point?

Don't you know if you are a non driver you should never get in a car! If your partner drives you should never accompany them on any journey, ever!!

If you cook dinner you should not allow anybody else to eat it. Everybody in the household must make their own dinner.

I can drive but never do. I live in London and find other drivers absolutely terrifying. At the top of my road is a major road - not a motorway but might as well be: 3 lanes each side, bus lane, cyclists, pedestrians (many of whom just cross the road without looking or giving any notice, often elderly or not particularly fast), regular emergency vehicles. Nearly always very busy. I have seen on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS people driving the wrong way down this road, and various points along this road seem to be constant hotpots for accidents involving multiple cars and/or people. I just can't deal with that. I like the rules but all the rules seem to go out of the window where I live and I have no idea how to navigate/interact with drivers who clearly don't give a crap about themselves let alone me.

Fortunately my partner is less terrified and does drive, and plus we live within 10 min of 2 separate train lines plus a load of bus routes so it's totally unnecessary to drive.

Driving is a very useful skill to have.
It would be very difficult to live in a rural area as a non driver.
There are many reasons someone might not drive ( financial, medical, ethical).

People who do not drive usually live a very independent life and are more than capable in other areas.

There are some non drivers who are idiots and try to manipulate people into ferrying them about all the time and would rather spend time and money on the pub rather than learning to drive.

There are some drivers who are idiots, they speed, drink drive and/or intimidate other road users.

If all adults drove and all journeys were made by car it would be chaotic. It is good that people walk and take public transport. This also benefits people's health and the environment. It is important that investments are made in public transport.

In the future we will likely have self driving cars so this will no longer be an issue.

24 hour bus service? I didn’t realise there was such a thing. So you can get a bus at 3am if needs be? Really?

They’re sometimes called night buses.

https://content.tfl.gov.uk/bus-route-maps/city-of-london-night-081014.pdf

You’ve never heard of the night bus? Staple of my youth!

£35 an hour sounds better than my DC had - round me it's average £40-£45 an hour.

I couldn't be with a man who didn't drive. It comes across as weak and childish. He should pay for a taxi.

Completely disagree re uber, much safer option. You can set it to text someone when you get in a car saying your arrival time. Can’t do that with a traditional taxi. Someone can track your journey live, someone else can even pay for it, no worrying about cash machines etc like when I was young.

Also, while I don’t want to minimise the alarming rise in violence against women I believe domestic violence is by far the biggest threat. The journey isn’t the dangerous part it’s who is at home. I’m not saying random attacks don’t happen on the street but they are rare. And I despair of a society that tells women we need to constantly be on alert for acts of random violence but dating apps have become the norm. Statistically the stranger you’re meeting from the dating app is far more likely to attack you than a random person you encounter on the street.

I am constantly surprised too. Growing up in my area literally everyone learned to drive at 17, I did not know one person who didn’t. I didn’t realise until I moved for university and nobody else seemed to have learned!