To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

I've managed to survive the last 50 years without being able to drive, it's really not a problem.

Also, yes everyone’s circumstances are different, and sure maybe you can walk to work now or get a bus where you live now but what if you want to go and visit somewhere else? Without easy train access? Remote places etc? What if you want to go abroad and have total freedom to travel? It’s just so limiting to so much freedom.

Why is it always “ferried about” on MN? No one ever just gets a lift - they are always “ferried about”.

I can’t remember the last time I asked someone for a lift. But - shock horror - sometimes a family member or friend might actually offer. Because we actually like each other, instead of living in a permanent state of resentment at doing anything that might actually benefit someone else, as a weird number of MNers seem to do. And god forbid that anyone should say no if asked for a lift (or any other favour). No; the correct procedure is to do it, but inwardly seethe at the sheer audacity of being asked.

Yes! Why is it always women who can’t drive? Why must the DHs always be the ones who drive. It’s so outdated.

Well neither of us can pilot an aeroplane, but we still manage to go abroad on them. The buses don’t just exist in our location, we can go anywhere on them, we can go virtually anywhere on the train, no worrying about having a drink with a meal etc.

Its no different to someone like you being able to drive now, what about when you can’t drive and you need to get somewhere?

I don’t drive. It helps that I live in London. I wouldn’t be able to drive to work anyway (likewise with most jobs I’ve had), the school run takes about 3 mins walk.

I never “ask for favours” because I don't drive! Re. dump run = I book a council collection, take stuff to charity. Occasionally my stepdad may help. People offer lifts at times and sometimes I say yes but I never approach them. “Someone to deliver second hand stuff” - huh? If I can’t buy something with delivery included then I can’t get it. It’s not like I’ve done without.

I find the attitude that you have to have a car weird. I manage to do loads with my kids via public transport, it’s teaching them an environmentally friendly approach. I would maybe like to learn now for when I’m a bit older and maybe I can help my kids out a bit, and it would help a little with holidays in the UK.

Don’t agree. Yes it would maybe make remote holidays easier but we’ve managed to get round Cornwall on public transport so it’s definitely doable. People with cars just like to believe it’s not 😜

You know the world is absolutely fucking huge, right? If one location, or even hundreds of locations aren’t accessible by public transport, there are many, many more to choose from. Not driving doesn’t mean being sat indoors for the rest of your life wishing you could see the world.

If there was somewhere inaccessible I absolutely dreamed of seeing, I would pay someone to drive me there from the nearest transport hub (assuming I had exhausted options such as organised tours). Might that be expensive? Yes - but if I was desperate to see said place, surely it would be worth it?

I went to Shropshire last year with a friend who also doesn’t drive. We based ourselves in a decent sized town that doesn’t have a train station, but does have a fairly regular bus service from the nearest city, plus buses to other locations in the area. We saw everywhere we wanted to see by bus. Did it mean a bit of planning? Yes - but so what? It wasn’t an insurmountable problem. We’re doing the same on the Isle of Wight at Easter.

Would I want to live somewhere full time where the buses were only hourly? Absolutely not. But for a short break, it’s more than doable. It just takes a bit of organisation.

I do! I travel around the world frequently. And it’s so great to be able to hire a car at the airport and go wherever I like, simply because I got my license.

And it’s so great to experience the public transport system in another country. I’ve had some beautiful train and bus journeys all over the world. And if it’s a tricky destination I’ve done guided tours which are also really fun. So not really “a loss of freedom” at all. Neither approach is wrong.

I have an eye condition which impacts my perception of lines. I have a physical disability and cognitive dysfunction.
i tried to learn for decades before all my things were properly diagnosed or became worse and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t drive and seemingly everyone else can.
it has held me back in multiple ways especially now im more disabled with kids who also drew the genetic short straw.
I'm regularly shocked at the amount of people who look down on me because of limitations placed upon me by my disabilities.

No one is saying that’s a bad thing. Just that it’s not essential.

Absolutely. There are certainly some countries I wouldn’t want to drive in and do get public transport in and completely agree that group guided tours can be an amazing way to sightsee. But there are certainly many places that a road trip is part of the fun, the freedom, going off the beaten track and fully exploring. No it’s not essential, but it’s one thing I particularly love about driving and can only speak for myself when I say it’s something I couldn’t do without. Of course, each to their own.

Another non-driver here and nearly 49. I grew up in a city with amazing public transport (outside of the UK) where having a car wasn’t needed. My mum did learn to drive when I was little as my stepdad stopped driving but barely ever used the car and ended up selling it. I lived in London where, again, having a car was a stupid and very expensive idea and only when I moved away, I tried to take lessons and spent a fortune but, even after passing my theory test with 100%, I never felt ready to take the practical. I now live in Spain and haven’t got a car nor do I feel the need to drive at the moment. I’ll never say never but I certainly don’t feel less independent for it and manage ok.

I learnt to drive when i turned 50 reason was i moved to a very rural location so had too

I love driving now and i do wish i had learnt a-lot younger but i don't feel i missed out on anything because i didn't drive i got around really well as i had excellent transport links lived in London when i didn't drive i would also get odd looks when id say i didn't drive its like its a done thing nowadays

Op you should be cycling more. There are too.many cars on the road. Cycling is better for you and the environment.

And the point of it was?

I learned to drive when I was 17 and paid for all the lessons and tests myself (didn't pass first time). I was working full-time and my parents didn't have much money, so asking them to pay wasn't even an option.

With my two DC, I paid for a block of ten lessons (worked out cheaper) and they paid me back each week out of their part-time earnings. They both passed their test about three months before their 18th birthday, so their dad, myself and my partner clubbed together to buy them a used car for their birthday.

The most adventurous places I've traveled to, there's no way I'd want to drive there. Bolivia, Guatemala, Georgia, Kyrgyzstan, China... I was more than happy to rely on public transport and taxis there. But somehow on MN not driving seems to equate to never venturing outside your own neighborhood.

I only learnt to drive when I was pregnant (29) as felt I needed to once I had a baby. I lived in London so transport was very very easy and I often drank when I went out of an evening anyway. Husband at the time could drive so it wasn't necessary.
Once I could drive we shared the car, that we had bought together.
However, I now live more in the suburbs and both my children and my neice and nephew, plus most of their peers, learnt to drive when they were 17 and passed by their 18th birthday. All are very lucky as us parents funded their lessons and bought their first cars for 18th birthday (and first years insurance which is ridiculously expensive!).
I only had my own car once my ex and I split.
I'm moving to the coast now I'm semi-retired and will need a car to make regular trips to my elderly parents (currently very local) and back to see friends; but the transport is very good where I'm moving to so I'll only use it a few times a week.
I do agree though that a household needs a car.
I'll only keep mine as my partner will use his to commute every week day.

I'm 37 and don't drive parents couldn't fund it then I ended up in a dv relationship for 10 years so lost a chunk of my life

Now it's very costly to learn I don't think it's anything to do with you who drives and who doesn't

The OP started this thread almost 24 hours ago and hasn't been back.
I'm guessing, as I said earlier, that this is just a goady post to wind people up.

Light the touch paper and watch it burn .......

What an odd assumption. I paid for my lessons (and, of course, for my first extremely old car). At 17 I was leaving home to study, and so had been working for a few years to save up for those costs as well.

Lucky me, I suppose.

Yes. After midnight they are less frequent but there's one every hour. In the daytime there's one every 10 minutes. This isn't in London either

Weak and childish 😂 oh do get a grip. You sound like a modern day incarnation of Thatcher!