To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

So goady. No one is this sheltered irl.

I think it's often cost related. Both of my DS learnt as soon as they were allowed to but driving lessons and car/insurance are expensive. Additionally you have to find the time (and nerve!) to take them out to practise too. With rising COL and many still going to Uni which also needs a lot of funding I can see why people don't learn to drive.

Very few places have anything near a 24 hour bus service. Not everyone can live in London and maybe a few other big cities. The majority of the population live outside the handful of big cities, so won't have 24 hour bus services!

The irony is that I have to go now because I've agreed to take my elderly neighbour to an appointment at the opticians. It's a miserable cold wet day here and she'll be stuck in our little town for nearly two hours before she can get a bus back. So, because of all the above, and because I'm a decent and neighbourly person, I'm driving her the six miles into town.

And resenting every mile of it. You’re so desperate to point out what a “decent and neighbourly person” you are, yet you’re seething at the very prospect. Your poor neighbour would probably feel terrible if she knew how you were fuming over this.

I sit somewhere in the middle in this debate.

I pretty much feel that everyone’s circumstances are different, although I personally feel like driving was right for me and I need it for work/where I live etc, I’m not deluded to think there are many many reasons why someone cannot or does not want to drive, because they don’t want to also being a valid reason.

However, I have had times where certain friends have been a bit miffed at me for not ferrying them around and that does annoy me. I guess it’s more about them as a person rather than being a non driver. I had a friend who just expected lifts, always wanted me to pick her up and drop her off and moaned at me once for not wanting to go ages out of my way to take her home at 11pm when I had work the next day because she “couldn’t be bothered to get a cab”. These situations are what bother me, she didn’t have any interest to drive but EXPECTED others to ferry her about.

I’m sure I’ll get absolutely flamed for this, but baring a medical condition that prevents driving or those who intend to live inner city for life, to me not driving shows a lack of ambition in an adult. To me it’s a life skill. And adults who pester you for lifts because they’ve chosen to never learn irritate the life out of me.

My parents didn’t have a lot to piss in so I paid for all my own lessons. Started at 18, passed at 19. Worked various part time jobs to fund it all. That was 15 odd years ago and I think it was £30-40 an hour even then. Second hand cars were of course much cheaper then.

Holy shitkins!!! What on earth are they teaching you? So 40 hours of professional instruction? And you can't have your parents do that instruction instead which is what we do. ( except as I say maybe except 4 or so hours). Who tells you that you need 40 hours of professional instruction? Is it the govt? Is it a law ? Or is it something you are all just going along with. Truly gobsmacked. If , here in Australia we had to pay for 40 hours of professional lessons then we would probably be like you. How odd? Are the parents not trusted to teach their children? Well I understand know why so many UK residents don't have drivers licences.

Due to a detached retina as a teen I have no sight in one eye. Although this wouldn't automatically exclude me from having a licence, I have never felt comfortable enough to drive and could never forgive myself if I caused an accident. I rarely point out my disability to people I don't know well. I hate to think I'm judged for using public transport and walking everywhere. I never ask for lifts , I'd get a taxi in an emergency and if someone does offer to drive me somewhere I always make sure I cover their costs and try to repay their kindness in another way.

I agree OP. I guess it mainly depends where you grow up as to how essential you find driving - where I grew up, everyone had driving lessons at 17 as it wasn't easy to get around without, even though it was only the suburbs, nowhere rural.
But my DH grew up just within the bounds of London so once he failed a driving test at 17, it was easy for him not to bother again until he had his first child in his 30s.
But I do totally agree that I read a lot of posts on here where the OP's life is so much harder because they don't drive, but they still don't prioritise learning (for those that can afford it). It's like there's a mental block there where it's become such a massive hurdle that it's almost unthinkable that it could change.

I’ll agree with the pestering non drivers who expect and demands lifts but I disagree with driving = lack of ambition.

ambition could be anything, it’s not all black and white. You could travel the world, land your dream job or work extremely hard and live your best life whilst also not driving

You are so getting ripped off. . Nobody needs 40 lessons.

Ridiculous comment. If nobody needed 40 (or more) lessons, we wouldn’t have a thread, because everyone would take a lesson or two and pass on their first attempt!

I was 17 in 1974 and I, along with all my friends, couldn't wait to learn to drive. I think things have changed a lot. More kids go to uni now and, as a result, neither they or their parents prioritise the cost of driving lessons. By the time they leave uni they've got used to not driving. It has also undoubtedly become more stressful, if not darn right scary. There are tank like SUVs thundering around, headlights like police searchlights and congestion in general is awful. Insurance too is sky high, especially for young and old people.

@AnxiousRose a circle of people who don’t think driving is necessary 😂🙈 I think I’ve been triggered 😂😂

Driving is not a life skill, swimming is a life skill, your life is not at risk if you can't drive.
Driving is a bonus.

Sick of being made to feel like less of a person for not having a driving license.
I do not expect anything off anyone, I walk and use the bus.

Most people I knew as a kid didn't get given driving lessons or cars. In fact the parents often didn't drive. In some inner city areas there's simply no need. It's more expensive and takes longer than any other mode of transport.
If someone needs to transport something then they can always get an Uber or man and van.

Meh. I'm the only driver in a family of 5 (ie. DH and 3 kids of driving age) - DH never had any interest in learning as he grew up living in city centre and even now, we live in a suburb within 10-15 mins on public transport. My kids are the same - there is no "need" for them to learn to drive, they are of the view that the fewer cars on the road the better as far as the environment goes, and in any case we couldn't afford to pay for driving lessons. When I learned, it was £9 per hour - now you'd be lucky to get change out of £30, and we just don't have that kind of money. Then you have to think about insurance and all the other associated costs.
I think if you live somewhere fairly rural or isolated, you just can't imagine how people cope without cars / driving. However where we live, we are lucky to have frequent and reliable bus and train services as well as decent taxi companies (and Uber!).
Other people not driving is not something I could get worked up about, tbh.

My Uncle was killed in a traumatic motorcycle accident (involving a car). My amazing DM carries some trauma from that and is a very anxious driver. It appears I have inherited some of that anxiety and can't face learning to drive a machine that could kill someone. So I'm self sufficient, I save money by not having a car, which means if I really need I can make the use of taxis. I'm lucky to be living in an area with good public transport (but then... We chose to live here for that reason!)

I’m in Oz (Perth) and I don’t know a single person that doesn’t drive. Over here though you are much more limited if you don’t.

Didn’t I read recently that Perth is the most isolated city in the world (in terms of proximity to another city of a comparable size)? It’s hardly a typical example.

There are valid reasons to have a car and drive it.

Ferrying kids
Living rurally
Poor public transport
Immobility

Offhand I can't think of any other reason to have a car. Shopping is mostly online now and delivered to your door, including takeaway food, drink, appliances etc.

There is one thing I do realise about having a car, is the freedom it gives to roam around the country and see things that are "off the beaten track", where public transport can't or doesn't reach. But the money saved on not having a car + associated expenses = a private driver/taxi from the station!

I can drive alright, but on retirement I gradually realised that I don't need a car much anymore. I still have it, but it's rarely used, and I'm thinking to get rid soon enough. I can get Uber/train/bus wherever I want. But then again I suppose I have the time to navigate all that now. Still....

Life is changing as pp said. Eco friendly travel is being promoted big time in the interests of congestion and climate change/pollution etc.

I learnt at 32 because I never had the money to so before then.
Lessons, car, insurance, fuel. It's alot of money that I had to find and still do now I am driving. It's definitely a luxury

I was working 2 jobs to pay my uni fees at 18 and had no-one who could pay for driving lessons .
I agree learning at 17 would have been great but you are very sheltered if you think all people can afford too and just choose not too.

I agree. DH grew up with two parents who didn't drive. It limited them hugely as a family, from where his parents could work, to what after school clubs the kids could do (none that weren't within walking distance), to what friends they could see. They couldn't even drive his sister to University when she started, and had to get a neighbour to take her. Public transport isn't always reliable, no matter what people claim on here, and taxis are horrendously expensive. And nobody wants to be sitting at a bus-stop in the pouring rain with two young kids and shopping bags in tow.

I live in a town in the east midlands. We have 24 hour bus service! It's not just London, I know a lot of places are rural but most large and medium towns with city links will have a good bus service.

My Dad paid for 17 lessons for my 17th birthday. I didn't complete the course. I was a very naive kid. The instructor began brushing over checking my seat belt. He then twice became very inappropriate. Nowadays, it would be seen as sexual assault. I never told anyone just stopped doing the lessons.
Everyone just thought I was ungrateful or stupid. I had to walk past his office on the way to High School and my Saturday job.

It took me years to try again. I don't really know how I passed my test as I am a very nervous driver. I assume I am dispraxic as I have very poor eye hand coordination. I am useless at racket sports.

Yet, it didn't hold me back at Uni or my career. If anything it makes you more independent and organised. It definitely helps with time keeping as you have to be out on time.

We have gone down to one car. As mine rarely moved. I do make myself drive just to try and keep the skill. Everyone told me the public transport was awful in our overgrown village. It isn't you just have to be organised.

It cheaper than driving to town and parking.
The money saved on the car, petrol and parking goes into a holiday fund. We did a spreadsheet the two years ago to see how much extra my choices were costing and were pleasantly surprised to be saving a substantial amount. If I am out at night I will use a local taxi company if I am out late.

I am happier walking, cycling or using public transport. People assume I don't have a licence.