To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

I turned 17 in the 90s, all my friends had driving lessons straight away. We couldn’t wait to pass our tests. My kids have turned 17 in the last few years, all their friends also couldn’t wait to get on the road.

Agreed

When I was a late teenager it was just a given that the moment you turned 17 you started driving lessons. No one questioned it

Driving lessons have always been expensive. I can only assume that most of your peers could afford it. Most of mine couldn't.

Most of the people who ask me for lifts are people I know socially — neighbours, friends from various activities, people I know through social groups or work circles. We're connected through networks that rely on cooperation, trying to get along, working together — that kind of thing — and once you have that connection it's more difficult to turn down a request than if it was a stranger asking for a lift. There is a sense of obligation: I'm lucky enough to be able to drive, therefore I should help out those who need to be driven. Plus female socialisation that teaches us to help people out. Women are notoriously poor at saying no.

The irony is that I have to go now because I've agreed to take my elderly neighbour to an appointment at the opticians. It's a miserable cold wet day here and she'll be stuck in our little town for nearly two hours before she can get a bus back. So, because of all the above, and because I'm a decent and neighbourly person, I'm driving her the six miles into town.

Learning to drive is extremely expensive.

First you need a car - not everyone has one, or has one that can be used for young drivers (company car/uninsurable etc.)

So that's about £7/8000

Then you need to insure that car for learners and for a new driver - even with the cheapest insurance group that's £1/2000 and often more

Then lessons and tests - you can teach them yourself if you have a car, the time, the patience, but most people have at least some lessons.
Average number of lessons to pass is 40 x £40 = £1,600
Average number of tests = 2 at @£100 per test including car hire/lesson before £200

Total cost of 1 child learning to drive = from @£2,000 if you have suitable car and teach them to £12,000 and more if you need to buy it all.

With minimum wage for 16-18 year olds being £6.40 an hour they need to work for minimum 312 hrs up to 1,875 hrs to afford this. (50 days to 300 days)

Let's stop pretending that driving is achievable for everyone - it's not.

It's achievable for young people who have wealthy parents, who are willing to pay for them and where those young people have the physical and mental ability to learn to drive.

As for the 'it open up opportunity' - sure, you can then become an uber driver, or work for deliveroo or be a carer being underpaid for both your time and your car's use.

This is a thread about driving??

It wouldn’t help me to get my rubbish to the tip if someone’s made me soup

@TallulahBetty ODFD - I drive perfectly well - thanks.

You were originally referring to another poster with an inane comment - hence my 'passive aggression'. It was technically exasperation - but whatever.

I don't drive. My mum couldn't even afford to put me through uni so I had to pay for myself, support myself. I've never really been able to afford it. The difference is I don't rely on anyone for lifts. I walk, get public transport. It's never been an issue and I've done it since I was a kid.
My not driving doesn't impact anyone else... So why is it an issue for you?

My boyfriend doesn’t drive and he’s only realised how much I do for him driving wise because I’ve not had a car for two weeks (it was stolen). I think it’s been a wake up call and if I had to guess I would say that most non drivers don’t realise how much drivers actually do.

I agree but think this is area specific. My parents don’t walk anywhere because they live in a small town with plenty of parking so as they see it why walk?

Where I live by the time you have got parked it’s as quick or quicker to walk so that’s what you do (to say nothing of the cost of parking).

Same with the poster who mentioned school drop off, I suppose I could walk but would need to drop DC off, walk 25 mins back to the house to then get in the car and drive to work. Not really practical option.

You don’t need a car to learn how to drive ffs.

Agreed @Scaredandalonepls

Im dating a non driver for the first time and it’s stark how much driving I do and how much drivers assist those who choose not to

(yes, I think it’s a dealbreaker)

What an odd response, the person you're replying to was talking about their own parents. Weird to insert yourself in their situation!

Yes I do agree with you

THIS!!!

I do have a driver's licence and have driven a few times. However I was so overwhelmingly stressed by it that I just decided it was not for me. I haven't driven in 15 years. My partner drives, or I take public transport, or walk, or a combination of the above. We don't have children and live in a city with very good public transport.

Judging by the quality of driving I see as a pedestrian or bus/tram passenger everyday, or when I'm given lifts by others, I wish more people realised that driving isn't a birthright, it's actually a skill that you may not have naturally, so you may need additional training beyond the however many hours you need to get your licence.

It’s funny but while being a driver I somehow manage to return favours in many cases without using my car.
As examples looking after several of the kids in daughters class when school was unexpectedly closed due to heating issues as I could get an ad hoc paid day of leave for emergency childcare and her friends parents couldn’t or picking up kids other than my own from school and walking home/taking and collecting from various classes walking or on the train or picking something up from the shops in town for a friend (which I’m just doing now in my lunch break and I walked to). I mean I’ve also returned favours using my car but seriously for many people living in more urban areas they can do all this stuff without a car. Most of our friendship group own one car per household so do as much without them as with them. If there happens to be a kids thing on somewhere tricky to reach without a car I’d happily offer lifts. Another time when it’s somewhere tricky to get and I don’t have the car others will offer and when it’s somewhere easy to reach on foot/metro those that don’t have car will offer. Some people never return the favour but it has 0 correlation with a lack of car ownership.
I suspect you are either unfortunate enough to happen to have the odd non driver friend who is simply someone who doesn’t reciprocate with anything and you haven’t managed to feel like you can say no to them
or you are ignoring any reciprocal help not involving driving the kids somewhere because you have some very set ideas about what returning a favour needs to look like

I don't lack a life skill. As I said, I can drive.

I'm not trying to be clever here BUT..... I am constantly surprised by people who think that everyone lives and thinks like they do.

We're in the countryside so for the kids it's get a car or rely on virtually non existent buses or parents.

But if we were in a big city I imagine they wouldn't be champing at the bit at all. I only learnt for the same reason

"a non driver"

🤣😭🤣😭

That's actually hilarious!

@Scaredandalonepls The thread is about people that don't drive and need lifts.

It doesn't matter if you can drive - if you don't have a car, you cannot use those skills.

Driving an imaginary car won't get you to the tip or work.

I spend money on taxis, if I have to.

Probably 100 pounds a year. Pretty sure thats less than a car.
But then I could not believe the people that drove an SUV for a 5 minute school run.

Also,I would never live in the middle of nowhere.

What is "continually surprising" to me is that people think their logic/way of life is the best and only way.

Because behind every non-driver going on about no one needing a car and boasting of being eco-friendly, there's an endless line of friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances they've been begging lifts from/ assistance from for years.

Nope not making things up. That every speaks for itself. Otherwise surely you'd say because behind some non drivers..

Am I being unreasonable to be constantly surprised that people are dickheads and assume that everyone’s family circumstances, financial circumstances and health circumstances are the same as their own?

What an exaggeration. Yes some non drivers maybe, but definitely not all. I drive now but for the many years I didn’t drive , I never asked for lifts from anyone, it just wasn’t necessary.