To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

I learned to drive at 15 (legal in the country I lived in) and drove daily until 33. Then I moved to London, live centrally and have never owned a car here. I last drove on holiday in 2019, and may never drive again.
Public transport here is so good, and the cost of owning a car so high, I can't see the point. I take taxis when I need to, which is rarely, have stuff delivered or taken away as necessary. I don't think I've ever asked a friend or neighbour for a lift - most of them don't have cars either. Apparently less than half of households in my borough have cars.

Others live in places where its more difficult to do without driving, of course, but for me, it would be expensive and unnecessary.

Many people cannot afford to learn, or, if they do, cannot afford to run a car.

I feel sorry for drivers, I can't imagine wasting that much of my life sitting in traffic, getting petrol, going to MOTs, sorting this and that paperwork, cleaning it inside and out, always complaining they've got to go somewhere, things going wrong, worried they've been screwed over by the garage, the hassle of insurance, all the threads on here complaining about it and parking and all the hassle. Everyone I know who has a car always complains that they have to drive.

I love walking to places and getting fresh air and my steps in, and I don't mind sitting in an Uber on my phone with someone else having all the hassle. I've never thought about parking in my life.

The bit I don't really understand though is when someone goes to the trouble of learning, can perfectly well afford to run a car, but chooses not to and expects lifts and general arrangement of plans around them.

There is such a thing as refresher lessons.

Im constantly surprised about how lazy people are.
I live 20 mins walk from school, people look at me like I’ve got 3 heads when I say we walk to school. Parents park so dangerously on the pavement right outside the school instead of parking a 2 minute walk away.
The world is literally going up in flames, we all need to start inconveniencing ourselves a bit or there won’t be a world

@TallulahBetty yes that is the sight test, And yes you can/should wear your glasses to do that. The eyeroll is because you assume that anyone would not know that.

People can wear glasses and still have vision so poor that they are not able to read the license plate from the required distance.

Because I get inveigled into it and feel guilty as they detail their lengthy journey/inability to get there, the bad weather, the cost, the long wait etc etc

Comments like: I’ll get the bus to your town, it gets in at ten. Hope the pavements aren’t icy.

I'm the only person in my circle who drives so it affects me a lot.

Im trying to have firm boundaries on this and only give lifts to my teen, who isn’t old enough, so it’s fair!

Is this supposed to be a real line of argument in this debate — that those of us expressing exasperation at being expected to provide free transport for our non-driving friends and acquaintances think we've 'met every single non driver'? Because we haven't made that claim: you're making stuff up. We know the people we know. You know the people you know.

Yes yes yes

You don’t need to feel sorry for me. I’ve driven through the Rockies in North America setting bears at the side of the road, the lakes in Italy and, when our flight was cancelled and we were stranded in New York trying to get to Chicago to see family, we hired a car and drove it. Not driving is so limiting and people will justify it saying it’s not important but I think they just convince themselves.

It is expensive to learn and some people don’t have the option, but some just make poor choices (not including disabilities as being disabled isn’t a choice). So many mn issues could be solved by driving.

When I was in my late teens/early twenties I was too busy trying to keep a roof over my head to be able to afford driving lessons, I didn't have parents to help me. I'm now 40 with two kids and a mortgage and I still can't afford it. It's not ideal but it's how life panned out, looking back I really can't see how I could have learned. I have always had a job, I just made sure I could get wherever it was. Owning a house for me was a bigger priority as I spent so long constantly moving and I needed stability

Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car

Neither of my parents drove so they didn't have a car to borrow.
A cheap runaround costs a lot of money if you only just have enough to live on.

And the thing that annoys me the most is incredibly professional women in top jobs, earn a lot as does their partner so can easily live in an inner city suburb with great public transport. You ask them how they go away for a weekend or drop their son to footy and it's DH does that. It's just too 1950's for my liking, but each to their own. Personally the lack of independence would drive me mad.I',m the teenage 80's generation and I honestly only know one woman that doesn;t drive. And I know a lot of people. Maybe it's an Australian thing.

I know a few women of my age ( late 60’s) and even a bit younger who have this ridiculous “ oh I don’t/can’t drive, my husband does/did all of that sort of thing” They are all able bodied intelligent women with enough money now and in the past to have paid for lessons and bought their own car. This group of non drivers really secretly irrationally irritate me!
Yes the previous generation eg my mother born 1927 rarely learned to drive - again though, my mother could have done so when she was in her 40’s in the more “ liberated” 1960’s but chose not to as she relished the little woman reliant on her husband for everything role.
I’ll happily give a lift to anyone who doesn’t drive - except for that above group of women. Sorry if that sounds harsh

'For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.'

I didn't have many friends who learnt to drive at 17. My parents told me that I was not allowed to use their car. Even when people get lessons as a present, it is nowhere near enough to pass the test. I think that I had around 35 2 hour lessons in the end. 10 lessons which were pure junk and then 15ish with another teacher before sitting my test and then a few after I failed. That was at £20 an hour and they were 2 hour lessons.

I know plenty of people now who don't drive. One is my boss and he is fairly young and in a high up position. He has worked all over the UK and just got trains. Another in my team worked abroad and in London and again got trains.

I didn't get a car until I was 28 and it's crazy now what I use my car for when I would cycle everywhere beforehand, or get the bus or walk. You become far lazier without realising it. Although I did get the odd lift back from a train station when I had stuff. I was also far more organised with timings because you don't have a choice.

Even now my insurance costs £600 a year, and my car was £8000. MOT, tax etc is easily £1000-£2000 a year. Cheap runarounds come with so many issues. Teens don't work enough to pay for that in addition to all their other stuff.

I didn’t learn to drive until my 40’s. It was not something my family could afford and was not necessary in the area I lived and worked as I could use public transport or walk. If i was buying anything big or out of the way, I would get a taxi. I spent far less on public transport and taxi’s than it would have cost to run a car and I have to say I was far fitter than I am now where the temptation to take the car to the shop 5 mins walk away because it’s a bit cold, is too great.
Like anything, it is about your own personal circumstances. Public transport in my area used to be good so it wasn’t an issue not driving. Things then changed, public transport was reduced and it then made more sense and became cost effective to drive.

Oh, I’m sorry for having epilepsy 🙄 Would you prefer I had an accident and drove into you, potentially killing myself, you and your entire family whilst having a seizure? People like you really piss me off as you don’t think it through. I’d love to have the freedom of driving but can’t.

Yes, the vast majority of car journeys are less than a 5 miles long in the UK. In 2023, 25% of trips were under one mile, and 71% under five miles.

My parents drive half a mile to my sisters house, or to the shop for a pint of milk, or to the local amenities. Easily walkable or could get the bus which is free for them anyway and the bus stop is 100m away from their house.

Driving is pretty much a necessity where I am. I couldn’t get to my job, visit my parents or in laws or drop my child at her school without being able to drive. That said, when I lived abroad in big cities, public transport was way better so I didn’t miss having a car. I also picked up driving quickly again when I returned home. I can fully understand why people who live in places like that don’t learn, but I do think there is a difference between ‘can’t drive’ and ‘don’t drive’. Fair enough if you can’t (for any reason), but saying ‘don’t drive’ implies there is a choice there, and I don’t think you should expect other people to be your taxi if you make that choice.

Of course not, I think most of the posters acknowledge that there are many people who can’t drive because of health conditions.

Ahhhh, so instead of simply politely explaining that your eyesight is THAT BAD that your glasses aren't enough to pass the test, you decided to be passive aggressive and reply with a massive chip on your shoulder? Cool cool. Enjoy the bus.

You sound extremely privileged, both that you were able to learn as a teenager and afford to run a car And secondly that you don’t have any disabilities that might render you unable to learn/ safely drive.

I don’t get your incredulity, just makes you appear tone deaf.

The OP should have put this in her first post then. She sounds judgmental to me 🤷‍♀️

@TriangleLight

Do you think there are no favours people can do that don't involve driving?