To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

Have you considered ignoring the message or just saying no?

And absolutely NOBODY is complaining about you, or others like you who do the same. It's the constant begging for lifts and favours from people with cars that gets people's backs up.

I can but don't*. I live in a city and walk/use public transport - there is a car club for those who don't want to pay for a chunk of depreciating metal sitting about 95% of the time

*Generous parents. DH parents never offered.

In my view there are certain things parents should do their utmost to ensure their kids can do:

Ride a bike
Swim
Drive a car

Obviously some people have disabilities which makes all or any of these things impossible.

But where disability and expense are not issues, it's a dereliction of duty of parents in my view.

Yes it's not very eco-friendly to run a car, but it's a necessity in many cases. And it's possible to walk, cycle AND drive depending on the circumstances, being able to drive doesn't mean you have to use it for a journey that would only take 5 minutes to walk.

Also agree with older women depending on their menfolk to drive (although to be fair, I don't much like motorway driving so largely leave that to DH, but in return he's less keen on big city driving, so leaves that to me - we both play to our strengths).

Which I get but just ignore them/say no....?

Agreed. I will rarely be passing their door on the way to somewhere, though they pretend I am. They're asking for a significant chunk of my time, as well as the extra cost, of going miles out of my way to pick them up and take them home. They're tucked up in bed asleep by the time I get home in some cases.

The 4 range in age from 70 to 85. They are generally well and independent except when they want to leave the house they are reliant on him indoors to take them out. I wish for them that they had learnt and had that independence throughout the years.

All the non drivers I know are very independent and get by fine with walking, public transport and occasional taxi if needed. I don't know any constantly begging for lifts and favours.
You said NOBODY is complaining about the pp. But people are complaining about non drivers. The pp is a non driver so therefore people are complaining about her. That's the problem when all non drivers are put into one group.
In any group of people there are those who will try to take advantage. But most non drivers are not like that.

Quite a few people don't drive.

Percentage of adults 17+ with a driving licence:
2023
All adults 74
Females 70
Males 80

Among those aged 50-59, where it's the highest:
Females 82
Males 90

data: Driving licence holding and vehicle availability - GOV.UK

My parents didn't want me to drive. They were actively obstructive about it. They were convinced I would get in a car accident or would be forced off the road and assaulted when driving at night. I was also not allowed to get taxis because they considered taxi drivers as suspect. It was very limiting. My mum didn't drive and my parents saw it as something for men, not women. This attitude wasn't uncommon in working class areas even in the 1980s, so many older women won't have had the opportunity to learn when young.

I did learn to drive by paying for lessons from my Saturday job but it took a long time and I failed many tests as I got no practice in between lessons and couldn't afford a lot of lessons. Then when I passed I wasn't allowed to use the family car and given zero help to buy a car myself.

I'm in my 50s so it was just about achievable for me to buy and run an old car at 19 on my small wages. It would be impossible for a young person now., so I don't judge.

They're tucked up in bed asleep by the time I get home in some cases.

Well, I’d imagine in ALL cases. It’s fairly fundamental to the concept of dropping someone off that they get home before you do. You can’t drop them off after you’ve gone home.

I'm not actually planning to go on Saturday, so I'll say no. But some other driver will almost certainly say yes because it's a social group and there's a tacit assumption that people help out if they can.

Unemployed that's the number of people who can drive, not the number of people who do drive. I'd be interested to see the percentage of people who have actually driven in, say, the last year. I think there are probably quite a lot of us out there who are qualified to drive but don't drive by choice.

At 17 my family had no money, so I couldn't learn then. Once I became 18 and went to (local - couldn't afford to move away to one) University I then had to get a part-time job to pay my DM to live at home and buy my own food etc.

I did eventually manage to save up to just about manage in my early 20s, but honestly it's so expensive to learn nevermind then buying your first car and the insane insurance premiums for your first couple of years!

Unless you can run a car, why would you learn? Would you really be happy for someone who passed their test and got a license at 18 or 20 to just get behind a wheel 20 or 30 years later?

And you can't see how annoying that might be, when you've driven 50 miles home from the party or whatever, and you're still chugging through the lanes while the non-driver who's had a few drinks and blagged a free ride is already asleep?

this is a bit of a leap, she didn't say anyone had to justify it to her. Just that she hadn't realised.

FWIW, I guess it depends where you live/grew up OP. I'm 37 and live semi-rurally. There is public transport, but not regularly or conveniently. Out of my group of 12 school friends who are all still in regular contact, only 1 didn't learn to drive and it wasn't financial - she tried it and just didn't like it.

Fair enough, that’s up to them tho no?

I’m saying this like I’m not a driver, I can’t wait to drive again once I get my licence back but not having it for a few months has been an interesting experiment…..that I’m glad will be over soon!

I didn't learn till I was 24 as I moved out at 19 and just couldn't afford it. My DS is 17 this year and I'm going to pay for his. He's ND and really I'm grateful for anything that he wants to do that develops his independence.

But presumably if it annoys you that much, you wouldn’t have agreed to give someone a lift in the first place?

I’m my experience, non drivers are only too happy to accept lifts.

it also means they can’t return favours, such as picking children up, lifts on nights out or to hospital appointments etc.

Why are you rolling eyes at that poster’s comment m? They’re talking about THEIR parents not all parents.

I agree with @soupfiend driving is a necessity for most people. I often think the live in London brigade have absolutely no idea how utterly shit local transport is in some other areas of the UK. I don’t believe the OP was referring to anyone who has medical conditions that prevent them for driving. I think she was referring to people who really need to be able to drive given where they live but can’t be arsed. They prefer to foist themselves on people who can drive.

I think probably because learning to drive is not possible to afford nowadays.

Imagine! There are people who are different to you and had different experiences to you!