To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

[MissEloiseBridgerton]

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

This must be the 500th pointless thread passing judgement on those of us who don't drive 😴💤

Why do you care? Why should it bother you? You drive so what point are you trying to make? That we who don't drive are inferior or stupid?

Some of us are poor, some of us disabled, some of us just never had the opportunity to learn, some of us don't want to drive for ethical reasons. The bottom line is that there are too many multi car households now. In my village there are cars everywhere, blocking pavements and our once nice village is a polluted rat run. We really don't need more cars on the road so stop passing judgement on non-drivers.

It doesn't make you bad parents, I'm sure you're doing a great job.

From the tone of the comment, I would say there's probably more reasons why the poster feels that way about their parents. Don't take it personally.

The median income is £35k, not the mean.

This is what we should be teaching in school rather than gender bollocks.

Many people can't afford to learn to drive.

Yes! This is a great idea

I hope you've suggested a non-oil form of transport.

I'm torn on this.

On a micro level, my DP doesn't drive and it occasionally boils my piss that I have to do all driving on holidays, to distant cities etc. I did once give him a tongue-lashing after I'd driven him to and from his parents (3hr round trip), he'd got pissed, fallen asleep on the way home then just got out the car and shut the door without a word, leaving behind his trash. That didn't happen again.

On a macro level, we need to get out of the mindset that the car is the default mode of transport. If you drive and have a car, costing you money every day, you're more likely to use it than take public transport, with more expense, or even cycle (which isn't warm and dry). Hence city streets being clogged with oversized cars going a mile to the shops.

Yes it is but the schools don’t have the space to do so anymore as all spare land has been sold off for houses

As I said above its also just choice.

My reason for not driving is I don't want to. That's it.

We could afford to run 2 cars, I could afford lessons but I just don't want to.

My nan gave me £1k towardd driving lessons when I was 18. I told her I didn't want to drive, she said ok, and I spent the money (probably on rubbish/nights out but she was fine with it)

I am not one of those that begs for lifts but I also see those posts. I just scroll past and go about my day.

Not slating the OP AT ALL I'm just surprised this is so surprising to people?

I started learning when I was young and had about 20 lessons. A lorry almost hit me during one lesson and it terrified me. I’ve also been in four crashes as a passenger and my friend has witnessed a child being killed by a driver. I hate being in a car. I did try to learn again last year and tried to book lessons (which were so expensive). Two didn’t turn up to the lessons I had booked and prepaid and the other were all booked months in advance. I have had my name down on a list to be included for lessons since last March and they still don’t have room. My niece who
is 17 is also trying to book lessons but can’t get a space.

My parents didn't want me to drive. They were actively obstructive about it. They were convinced I would get in a car accident or would be forced off the road and assaulted when driving at night. I was also not allowed to get taxis because they considered taxi drivers as suspect. It was very limiting.

God, yeah, my mum was obsessed by the idea that if I waited til I was 25, I'd be less likely to fall victim to the likelihood of being killed in my first year as a driver. As if I could somehow skip the first year if I postponed it.

She totally ignored how boring and sensible I was like my brother, and assumed I'd be more like my crazy sisters.

Why offer if you are obviously so resentful about giving lifts?

So if the very concept annoys you, why are you even giving lifts? Come on love, get a grip.

Yes I do in fact, they are my aunts. They were all comfortable enough to be able to have had their own car and lessons had they chosen to. Now they are in effect housebound except for when him indoors wants to take them out or their kind dcs offer to visit (from away) just to take them out. They should have planned and made provision for their independence.

Major anxiety stopped me learning and i still can't do it now at 38, even when i was on anxiety medication it didn't help enough.
Thankfully my husband is fine doing the driving and when he can't or i want to go somewhere he doesn't i get the bus.

To be fair, not everyone SHOULD be driving and it's for the greater good that people who suffer from MH issues, anxiety, agoraphobia or take copious amount of medication are off the roads. There was a thread recently from an OP who ran straight through a red light because she was so stressed about a van driving too close behind her.

In my experience most people who say they "don't drive" are those who know deep down it's not safe for them to drive. Driving requires very specific skills and reaction times that a percentage of the population simply don't have.

You always know someone's run out of arguments when they start calling you 'love', don't you?

I grew up in a major European capital city, most people don't own a car, traffic is a nightmare, public transports are super efficient, life is expensive, all of that participates in the fact that many people from my city don't have a driving license and won't get one until they actually need to.

It's also horrendously expensive and very time consuming (instructors recommend you take 2 hours at a time, twice a week, and to avoid traffic, in the middle of the day, so as soon as you start having a regular job, it's not easily manageable.

I agree that it should be considered as an essential life skill though, but it's just not that simple.

I never learnt to drive because I lived and worked in the city centre with a very good bus service and taxis only a few pound extra if I couldn't be bothered with the bus. No parking even if I had a car. 20 years later and the cost of living has pushed me out of the city. Cost of rent and council tax has pushed businesses out of the city so I frequently have to travel longer distances. Public transport is no longer a cheap and convenient option it used to be so I'm now learning to drive as a fully fledged adult with two DC.

Lots of people seeing their arse on this lol.

Of course they are all valid reasons why a person might not drive, OP is just shocked because it's not her norm. I grew up in an affluent area, everyone learned to drive at 17. My husband never bothered because he grew up in a city and public transport was always fine.

You don't need to take offense about it!

Why the hell would I ever want to stand around waiting for a dirty stinking bus full of people coughing and spluttering. Get robbed while I’m waiting for it to not turn up then pay a fortune when it does. I can just get in my nice comfortable car and go.

There is no public transport here in rural east Anglian anyway so abandoning my car is never going to happen

Yes , This has always confused me., You don't haveto have any formal lessons but most people have a few. You just drive around with your parents annoying the heck out of them for (get this) one hundred and twenty hours! All logged and signed etc Then you do you test, before all this you do you "L" test which is on a computer. The actual test isn't that expensive ($60?) . I don't know why you are all paying for lessons when you can teach your kids yourself. Go somewhere quiet, a big empty parking lot on a Sunday is great; brace yourself and let em at it. Kids have been learning on farms for years. The reason for a couple of lessons at the end of the 1hundred and 20 bloody hours is to correct any mistakes. One lesson at the beginning is good too. It's a total pain but not expensive unless you don't own a car.

It’s expensive to have lessons. I paid £70 a 2 hour lesson for dc. Tests are hard to book. She went out with me too. Once she passed she drove my car sometimes on my insurance it was over £2000 to name her on a tiny old car. Those driving on own car were paying £3500-4000 a year (nice area I pay £200 a year without her on). If you’ve not insured a teen in last couple of years it’s gone up massively.
Parents are worried about funding uni shortfall. If parents are earning £32,000 each then uni student only gets min loan and you are expected to top up nearly £6000 a year.
People often have children a couple of years apart. Paying two teens lessons and uni top up is out of reach of many.
PT jobs are harder to find at 17 and unreliable zero hours. My dc’s friend self funded lessons. I can remember her getting upset if they sent her home early no pay (happened if they were quiet) as she needed the money for lesson day after.

I can usually tell they have run out of arguments when they start accusing the other person of running out of arguments!!