Page 13 | To be constantly surprised that people 'don't drive'?

ItGhoul · 14/01/2025 09:27

MissEloiseBridgerton · 14/01/2025 07:08

Every day on here, and on my own social media, I am shocked that soooo many people don't drive. My local FB group is constantly people asking for favours because they don't drive, they want a dump run, or someone to deliver second hand stuff to them. On here, the barriers to work, to childcare, to anything is so often that they don't drive!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

I totally understand it's expensive and costly to run a car but I don't think I realised how many people never learned!

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car

You're privileged then. Not everybody is.

Hipalong · 14/01/2025 09:27

A friend's mother recently learned to drive at past 60. It's never too late.

Spidey66 · 14/01/2025 09:28

I'm consistently surprised to find others are unable to understand that others don't live the same way as them.

Lots of reasons why people don't drive, cost, no need as live in a city, wanting to live more greenly. I've always struggled with driving, even automatics. I sometimes wonder if I'm dyspraxic. Until 3 months back I was in London so a non issue. I live in a small town now so it is more difficult but I struggle so much with driving. My husband does though

Beezknees · 14/01/2025 09:28

ThoroughlyModernNotMillie · 14/01/2025 09:23

I'm quite surprised too at the number of people who don't drive and have never learned. I'm 60 and learned at 17, as did my siblings and all my friends.
My 87 year old mother learned at 17 too, and drove all her married life, which I'm so glad about as she still has her independence after my dad died a few years ago.
My 2 children learned at 17 and had their own small old cars, paid for by a combination of gifted money and their Saturday/ holiday jobs, they drove themselves to school after they passed.
I view it as a life skill, like swimming.
Where I live there is no railway station, and the buses go every 2 hours till 5pm to the city about 8 miles away, they go nowhere else besides that one route. So if you want to go to, for example, a supermarket, garden centre, diy store, hospital, doctors, vet, friends houses, any place of employment not in the city centre, stately home, park, leisure centre, or go anywhere not in the city centre, or anywhere at all after 5 pm or on Sundays, then you need a car. I use mine several times a day. I also wouldn't be able to visit my son who lives very rurally, collect my grandchild from school or bring her to my house without a car.
I'm interested to know what those people do who don't drive, if they need to get things like garden plants and compost, garden pots, or large things from a DIY store, or go anywhere at all that isn't on a public transport route. Do they get taxis everywhere?

To answer your questions, I don't think there's anywhere I'd personally need to go that I couldn't get public transport to.

I live in a town that has a train station and 3 different bus services. The buses go to the 2 nearest cities and one goes to the airport. I can get the bus to the city where I work and if I want to go on holiday I can get the airport bus.

I don't have a garden as I live in a rented flat so don't go to garden centres, and I don't do DIY as I do not own the property so anything like that is down to the housing association. I can paint and things like that, but I can pick up paint in my town if I want to.

I have a Tesco, Asda, Aldi and Lidl in town, my dentist and GP are also in town. I live in the town centre so all of those are in walking distance.

Most other things I need I can buy online and get delivered.

If I want to go on a day out further out I can get the train.

DragonScreeches · 14/01/2025 09:29

I'm interested to know what those people do who don't drive, if they need to get things like garden plants and compost, garden pots, or large things from a DIY store, or go anywhere at all that isn't on a public transport route. Do they get taxis everywhere?

There is thing called the internet. You can get all sorts delivered, including compost, plants and pots.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/01/2025 09:29

Most CF-non driver I knew of, was a friend of a friend with 6 children, all doing after school activities, and driven to and from them by parents of their friends.

She was very comfortably off, and AFAIK there was no reason why she ‘didn’t’ drive (NB she never said ‘can’t’)
So while everyone else was ferrying her kids around in the rush hour, she would stay at home with a glass of wine.
As my friend said, ‘She’s the clever one - we’re the mugs.’

StillweriseLH · 14/01/2025 09:29

Itsallgonesideways · 14/01/2025 07:26

My prescription is too high for me to pass the driving sight test. I hth, there are many reasons why people can't drive, you have a very insular mind set.

I’m not doubting you, but just to say, do you know that for definite? I have a very high prescription into double figures and pass my HGV medical easily.

just thought I’d mention it in case it was something you assumed would hold you back but hadn’t actually been tested for.

insomniacalways · 14/01/2025 09:29

I can but don't drive - I also never ask for lifts anywhere and often have to refuse quite forcefully. I've managed to have two kids and they don't miss out we are amazing on public transport and taxis if required. We are also incredibly fit and healthy - my 13-year-old walks 40 minutes to school and back - refusing lifts from mates parents who routinely express their horror to me. She likes the break. What amazes me is how massively reliant some people are on their cars for short trips ,and how much they are destroying the environment and yet moan about more people in cars on the road.

Ginmonkeyagain · 14/01/2025 09:29

@ThoroughlyModernNotMillie I can carry a lot of things (I once carried a billy bookcase back from IKEA on the train and bus), for those I can't deliveries are a thing. There is virtually nothing you can't have delivered to you in London.

There are man and van services who will do pick ups for you as well.

Dyra · 14/01/2025 09:29

Yoyooo · 14/01/2025 07:10

I didn't have the money to learn at 17 and parents who didn't care enough to give me the money or teach me.

Same. Sucks to be poor growing up I guess.

KimberleyClark · 14/01/2025 09:30

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 14/01/2025 07:19

Ikwym but for me the biggest shock is still the number of older women who have never learnt because their dh drives and they are totally reliant in older age. I know 4 older ladies who are all in the same situation (although all had good household incomes and could easily have afforded lessons) but now feel too old to learn. When their dhs pass away they'll be reliant on dcs and goodwill of neighbours. They prevented themselves from having an independent life, very short sighted decision.

How old are you talking about? I’m early 60s, passed test in mid 20s before I met DH. My late DM learned in her late 30s.

Disturbia81 · 14/01/2025 09:32

Imagine if every capable adult was driving, the roads are full as it is, traffic getting more dangerous.. just imagine getting millions of non drivers on the roads. Imagine the parking.
Lessons are so expensive
Cars are expensive
Just think about it.

ladygindiva · 14/01/2025 09:32

DragonScreeches · 14/01/2025 09:29

I'm interested to know what those people do who don't drive, if they need to get things like garden plants and compost, garden pots, or large things from a DIY store, or go anywhere at all that isn't on a public transport route. Do they get taxis everywhere?

There is thing called the internet. You can get all sorts delivered, including compost, plants and pots.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

NooNakedJacuzziness · 14/01/2025 09:32

@ThoroughlyModernNotMillie - people who don't drive don't tend to live miles away from everything. If they do then yes they're stuck.

It's really odd how much head space drivers give to non drivers. If everyone drive the roads would be hell, it's like turkeys voting for Christmas!

CeeJay81 · 14/01/2025 09:33

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 14/01/2025 09:21

Woohoo, good for you, I was 47, yes 47 when I learned to drive. I'm sure the op will be thoroughly "surprised" at that.
I wish I had done it 30yrs ago but my predicament (no money) dictated otherwise.
Good luck, enjoy the freedom when you pass x

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Thanks😁. Glad I'm not the only one that did it later in life lol. I nervous but really hoping to pass first time, as it's so hard to get a test these days.

DragonScreeches · 14/01/2025 09:33

KimberleyClark · 14/01/2025 09:30

How old are you talking about? I’m early 60s, passed test in mid 20s before I met DH. My late DM learned in her late 30s.

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Yes, I am the same age as you and although I don't drive the vast majority of women my age do. I think the days of women being reliant on their husbands to drive ended a very long time ago.

Moveoverdarlin · 14/01/2025 09:33

I had a medical condition which made driving tricky, but I persevered and kept going. I finally passed at the age of 21. There was no way on earth I was going to be someone that couldn’t drive.

Evenworseformeeces · 14/01/2025 09:33

For me growing up, learning to drive was just what you did. I don't have any friends who didn't learn to drive at 17. Most had cheap runarounds or borrowed parents car.

This certainly wasn’t the norm in my (working class) community. Only one of my close friends had a car at 17/18 - her dad happened to work for a local Vauxhall dealership. Even the cost of being added to parents insurance would have been prohibitively expensive.

Putthekettle · 14/01/2025 09:35

Christmasbear1 · 14/01/2025 09:18

I keep failing my tests
lessons are bloody expensive and everyone thinks I'm wasting money as I will never pass
Everyone tells me to give up
It's very very hard to find automatic instructors in my area. And if you do, most won't come out unless you do 2 hr lessons
The test centre is far and therefore that's why 2hr lessons are necessary
I lose concentration after about an hr
I found a new instructor last year, determined to pass. He was horrible and had to quit after 4 lessons
My previous instructor verbally abused me it was so bizarre.
I hate driving, I don't find it enjoyable at all
I get very anxious when driving and I'm worried if I was on my own I'd run over someone and accidentally kill them
My sibling passed their test and then never drove until about nearly 10 years later. They hate driving too

So many awful instructors! I sympathise with you having experienced some of them myself, the way I see it - if you don’t have patience don’t sign up to be a driving instructor. It doesn’t help when they come with that attitude. I’ve also had instructors who were apparently so confident in my learner driving ability they they would make calls or text while I was driving 😵‍💫

My brother had an awful impatient instructor who made him uncomfortable, switched to a woman which he knew he’d prefer and passed it first time.

Pluvia · 14/01/2025 09:36

Ladyluckinred · 14/01/2025 07:18

Not learning to drive is fine in itself. I know people who don’t drive and are completely self sufficient, they’ll get the tube, cycle or walk. I also know people who don’t drive but are constantly asking for lifts or driving ‘favours’ and almost expect drivers to help out at their whim. So not driving isn’t the issue, but feeling entitled to lifts etc. suggests that individual needs to prioritise learning how to drive.

This. I've just been asked by a woman who chooses not to drive to drive ten miles from my house to her house, then ten miles back past my house to take us both to a party 30 miles away. So a 60 mile round trip is now a 100 mile round trip: an extra hour of my time and a gallon of petrol.

I asked her to book a taxi to my house and another to take her home from my house when we arrive back after the party — but apparently that's too expensive. Her solution? She now thinks it will suit me to pick her up in the afternoon, so she can be at my house to get ready, and then she'll stay over and have breakfast the next day with me, and I can drive her 5 miles to a point where she can pick up a bus that will get her the last five miles home. She is the epitome of why drivers get pissed off with non-drivers.

Moveoverdarlin · 14/01/2025 09:37

Disturbia81 · 14/01/2025 09:32

Imagine if every capable adult was driving, the roads are full as it is, traffic getting more dangerous.. just imagine getting millions of non drivers on the roads. Imagine the parking.
Lessons are so expensive
Cars are expensive
Just think about it.

Literally every capable adult I know CAN drive.

A friend’s mother is in her 60s but she’s a nervous character, never had a proper job, sweet enough woman but she’s not capable, therefore can’t drive. And I know a couple of bone idle teens who are about 19 but act 13, they’re also not what I call a capable adult.

ItFellOffAgain · 14/01/2025 09:37

Yoyooo · 14/01/2025 07:10

I didn't have the money to learn at 17 and parents who didn't care enough to give me the money or teach me.

and now?

1apenny2apenny · 14/01/2025 09:37

It's still seems ti be the norm here that as soon as kids turn 17 they are desperate to pass their tests, we are rural though. It was the same when was I was young.

Line everything else it has become ridiculously expensive, theory test, actual test, lessons, insurance and car. That says I did hours of practice with mine so they had minimal lessons.

Not being able to drive really restricts what you can do and where you can work. I've warned both my kids to be wary of getting a partner who can't drive.

ItFellOffAgain · 14/01/2025 09:38

Pluvia · 14/01/2025 09:36

This. I've just been asked by a woman who chooses not to drive to drive ten miles from my house to her house, then ten miles back past my house to take us both to a party 30 miles away. So a 60 mile round trip is now a 100 mile round trip: an extra hour of my time and a gallon of petrol.

I asked her to book a taxi to my house and another to take her home from my house when we arrive back after the party — but apparently that's too expensive. Her solution? She now thinks it will suit me to pick her up in the afternoon, so she can be at my house to get ready, and then she'll stay over and have breakfast the next day with me, and I can drive her 5 miles to a point where she can pick up a bus that will get her the last five miles home. She is the epitome of why drivers get pissed off with non-drivers.

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Presumably you've told her to take a long walk off a short pier?

Moveoverdarlin · 14/01/2025 09:40

Pluvia · 14/01/2025 09:36

This. I've just been asked by a woman who chooses not to drive to drive ten miles from my house to her house, then ten miles back past my house to take us both to a party 30 miles away. So a 60 mile round trip is now a 100 mile round trip: an extra hour of my time and a gallon of petrol.

I asked her to book a taxi to my house and another to take her home from my house when we arrive back after the party — but apparently that's too expensive. Her solution? She now thinks it will suit me to pick her up in the afternoon, so she can be at my house to get ready, and then she'll stay over and have breakfast the next day with me, and I can drive her 5 miles to a point where she can pick up a bus that will get her the last five miles home. She is the epitome of why drivers get pissed off with non-drivers.

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I would just keep reiterating ‘you get to me, and I’ll get us there’. So cheeky.