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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My partner complained we haven't had a date in ages then went into a strop when we did

100 replies

jiso · 13/01/2025 21:11

We went out for breakfast this morning then I had an appointment he dropped me off at and went shopping whilst he waited on me

He took so long to get out of bed all we had time for was a McDonald's. He fell out with me and went in a mood with me instantly when I said let's get up and go. He threw the clean washing on the kitchen floor and was annoyed because I didn't put his socks away. The washing was there ready to put away and I don't put his away.

Then he refused to talk to me the entire time. Any time he takes these moods he always say "because fuck you". I asked what was actually wrong and he said I don't want to be awake at this time and take you to your appointment. When our plan was to have breakfast together then I'd go to my appointment and shop after.

He's still not spoken to me all day.

He also drove so fast and unsafe

He said literally last night we need a time just us and I said let's do this tomorrow then and he agreed.

He will use the excuse I always have to dry you somewhere etc as an excuse for his behaviour

He dropped me at appointments twice last month and peeped his horn so many times and held it for a long time knowing it was just this one girl in her studio waiting for my appointment to embarrass me. She will know it's whoever picks me up now because it's now twice it's happened.

OP posts:
Bogginsthe3rd · 13/01/2025 21:14

Why are you still with this moody loser ?

AffableApple · 13/01/2025 21:16

Throw this one back. He's no good.

BananagramBadger · 13/01/2025 21:18

Why does he need to drive you to appointments? Sounds like he hates doing it. Fitting coffee in around an errand is not a date.

I can’t tell whether he’s dreadful or you’re unreasonable or a bit of both. If you give us a bit more context it might help.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 13/01/2025 21:18

What a bellend. I'm sorry you have to live with that. Do you want to stay with him?

FairFuming · 13/01/2025 21:20

This behaviour will only get worse. Get out now

suburberphobe · 13/01/2025 21:21

He threw the clean washing on the kitchen floor and was annoyed because I didn't put his socks away.

He sounds like a toddler.

Tommarvolo · 13/01/2025 21:22

Learn to drive. Then drive away.

Mum2jenny · 13/01/2025 21:24

Dump him, he’s not worth the oxygen he breathes.

annaiscoming · 13/01/2025 21:31

Where did you find this one? Leave him in bed and go have breakfast with a friend while you make plans to leave.

GCITC · 13/01/2025 21:33

Get out. Now.

outerspacepotato · 13/01/2025 21:33

Driving unsafely because he is mad at you or wants to scare you is abuse.

Get out.

WigglyVonWaggly · 13/01/2025 21:35

He’s fucking pathetic.

MissMogwai · 13/01/2025 21:36

Fuck that. Get rid of him.

PointySnoot · 13/01/2025 21:38

And Prince Charming's good points are what, exactly?

PullTheBricksDown · 13/01/2025 21:40

Get rid. Although in an attempt to be fair, which I really don't want to be tbh, driving you to appointments isn't a date or fun. However, he sounds miserable and rude regardless. Surely you'd be happier without him even if you had to take the bus or an Uber? I take it you don't drive?

colinshmolin · 13/01/2025 21:41

He's horrible leave him. It doesn’t matter if he can be nice and lovely (which may or may not be the case) the fact is he can treat you like this and make you feel unhappy, scared, embarrassed. He knows he's doing it and he doesn't care. Leave him and don't be with someone who wants you to be miserable.

TheTruthHurtsDontIt · 13/01/2025 21:43

Good god can women raise their standards a bit please, this is utterly pathetic and I have absolutely no sympathy for people who stay in relationships with goblins like this and then complain when they behave like goblins. Why are we all so happy having our bars so low satan is using them for limbo practice? Fuck me.

TinyMouseTheatre · 13/01/2025 21:45

You know this is abusive behaviour don't you?

Can you leave?

jiso · 13/01/2025 21:46

@BananagramBadger he offered to drive me so I said yes

We were going to leave hours before hand to go out and get a sit down breakfast but he just didn't get up.

I don't make him take me anywhere I just thought being spontaneous and we had time today, my appointment was 10 mins we could before hand get food then after go shopping together. I'd have been gone 10 mins from him since he said the night before I want a date together I thought until we have a night set let's do that

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 13/01/2025 21:46

He sounds potentially abusive, sulky, unkind. Nothing to stay for

Itiswhysofew · 13/01/2025 21:48

He couldn't be bothered to get up in time enough for your breakfast date, so he's unreasonable. Also, his behaviour is downright embarrassing. He needs to take charge of himself. You shouldn't be subjected to this type of behaviour.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/01/2025 21:52

No one here will understand why you aren't leaving him unless you tell us.

FloralCrown · 13/01/2025 21:54

This isn't a loving relationship, this isn't love, he doesn't love you. I feel like you haven't grown up knowing what love is, so you don't know because otherwise you'd see that.

Honestly, you would be better alone.

mathanxiety · 13/01/2025 21:55

This is an aggressive and angry man who is building up his willingness to engage in displays of rage. He is gradually losing his inhibitions over public ill treatment of you.

Make plans to leave
He is going to raise the ante and be personally and physically violent.

You need to take all the massive red flags he is waving at you very seriously.

Arlanymor · 13/01/2025 21:56

"Because fuck you."

Really? I'd never let a partner speak that way to me because the first time they said that they would be an ex-partner.