To really hate phone calls

[TwinklyFawn]

I find phone calls really intrusive. I always forget what i want i want to say when i am talking on the phone even if i write down what i want to say first. When i talk to people face to face i have no trouble talking. I prefer texting to phone calls. I can reply later if i am busy.

I think what makes them so awful for me is that I find social interaction hard to begin with. I love people and like interacting with my friends but I do find it hard abd draining.. it doesn't come naturally to me. I am autistic. So a phone call is even worse because you are missing half the cues. The facial expression the body language etc. I find it so stressful... because I know people find me odd anyway. And in a phonecall situation there's so much less for me to go on in coming up with appropriate responses. All joy is tucked out of the interaction by how much I have to work to understand the interaction.
I don't think it's just my autism that causes this as I know many nuerotypical people who are the same. Anyone with any confidence issues, overthinkers, shy people, anxious people... all of this will be exacerbated by a phone call because it's basically a disembodied voice. But it's also immediate interaction.. so you have to react then and there... It becomes a nightnate for anyone who struggles with interaction in general. It's like fencing blindfolded.

Yes, I hate phone calls! I'm confident in person, but as soon as I go on the phone, for some reason, I can't manage to articulate!! Actually, just a phone call there and couldn't get my words out very frustrating 🙃

It baffles me how people who are afraid of phone calls even function in the real world.

I'm autistic and hate phone calls. I can do something like book appointments or speak to the GP about a simple and predictable situation as i know the outcome. Anything I cannot plan for i really struggle with, I find processing what people have said to me difficult, I always lip read when I'm face to face as it helps. Knowing how to immediately respond to something someone tells me makes me flustered and I miss half the information that is being given.

@zerogrey

It baffles me how people who are afraid of phone calls even function in the real world.

With great difficulty as it happens.

I don't think anyone is being quite as dramatic about it as you are.

Mine are the same. They always phone when they know that i will be busy. Then they moan that i didn't answer the phone.

Can you make a phone call without having a meltdown?

I’ll only take a phone call if it’s from someone that is in my phonebook. I’d never take a call from an unknown number.
My phone is for my own personal use and it’s solely down to me how I choose to use it.

Of course I can but if there is an alternative I will usually choose that.

Me too. I'm 66 and used to communicate regularly and happily by phone.

Over the past few years, I've much preferred using various kinds of messaging and online communication and hardly ever initiate phone calls. I often make my partner do it for me!

Good for you.

Do any of you phone haters work in jobs where you need to speak to people over the phone? How do you cope, or do you just avoid it?

so do you not mind making phone calls? Is it only receiving them that bothers you?

I am a confident person when i socialise. I find it easier to tell how someone is feeling when i can talk to them face to face. When i am talking on the phone i find it harder to gage how they are feeling.

I get a tiny bit anxious when I have to call but once the first 5 seconds are over they are fine.

Then it doesn’t make sense to me why you would prefer texting over phone calls because it’s much easier to gage emotions over the phone.

I work in an accounting and have absolutely no issue at all calling people if it's to do with work but in my personal life I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than call someone/receive a call. I don't know why really. I find the whole thing awkward

@PigglyWigglyOhYeah

"Out of interest, are the people who avoid phone calls also the people who won’t answer the front door?"

Not in my case. I prefer to make phone calls as I find them quicker and more efficient in many instances. I'm far from a technophobe but I still like the human connection of talking in person. However, no, I don't answer the door to strangers. It's invariably someone selling something or promoting a religion. I don't want to buy anything or be converted and I certainly don't want to stand on my doorstep for 10 minutes letting my heat out (and wasting their time) to explain that. Sometimes it may be a charity but I support a wide range of charities and cannot afford to sign up to another direct debit. If it was someone who genuinely wanted to speak to me on a personal basis, they could write (they obviously know my address) or put a note through the door. I live on a disadvantaged estate and, trust me, flinging your door open to random strangers is really not a good idea.

I dislike phone calls but don't hate them. Use the phone regularly at work.

But it's the expectation that you are free to talk right then and there I don't like. I will message unless it requires a call. And I'll read messages when it's convenient for me rather than instantly

I find it a lot easier to comfort someone who is upset when i talk to them face to face. It is a lot easier to read social qeues when talking face to face. I have a few relatives who always sound fine on the phone. Yet there are are times that we have met up. I have been able to tell that something is wrong when i have seen their face

I moved abroad so there is a bit of a language barrier now and I mostly use a messaging app with a built in translation system. But when I was in the UK I was a caller rather than an emailer. I feel like I was able to get more done and build better relationships that way it probably depends on the role, I was middle management at the time.

i'm the opposite, i hate txt'ing on whatever platform. If i get a txt i ignore it. If you want to speak to me call me.

@PigglyWigglyOhYeah

Out of interest, are the people who avoid phone calls also the people who won’t answer the front door?

Very rarely anyone comes to my door but usually DH will answer as he is faster and more mentally able to process the information. I don't really know why anyone else is bothered if people choose to minimise phone calls though.

I totally agree with you.