To pull son out of nursery for constant illnesses?

[Elisabeth3468]

My little boy turned 3 end of December. He goes to nursery and was just doing 2 mornings and now does 3 and an afternoon. Since November he's been pretty much unwell constantly. I kept him off nursery for a couple of weeks in December as it was my due date for second baby and he was fine and no illnesses, we still socialised. He was eating so well, so happy and looked so healthy.
I know it's common for them to get unwell but this is constant. It's making our lives a misery, he always gets unwell the later half of the week too and usually end up having to try and find out of hours services to get him seen.
He's currently day 4 of the worst virus and temp of 39/40.
I've just had a baby and she's 6 days old so haven't had time to recover and next to no sleep. It's all just too much.
I'm thinking of pulling him out of nursery until the spring or just a couple of months.
Partner thinks to just keep him in as him being in nursery gives me a break and one to one time with the baby. I'd rather struggle and look after both of them than this constant never ending illnesses.
YAIBU- keep him in nursery
YANBU- keep him off and not let him get sick as often

Just to add we go to groups 3 times a week so he would still be socialising.

You are better off pushing through it because if you don't it'll all hit him when he starts school anyway. I know it's difficult when you're in the trenches especially with a newborn but honestly you really are better getting it over and done with.

Yeah get it done. Mine was the same and now he does whole terms without anything but a sniffle

Keep in nursery. If he was younger I’d say pull him out but at 3 years old it’ll be benefitting him to have that independence and socialise with his peers. It’s also inevitable when they start childcare that they pick up everything, so delaying nursery only means delaying the illnesses. May as well get it over with.

Much better for him to miss nursery than school.

Agree with everyone above!

This is what all kids go through when they start nursery. It’s a nightmare but it’s normal. Builds their immune system too.

It is frustrating but this is how they build up an immine system. Also if you're on mat leave right now it's easier than when you're back at work (if that is what you're planning to do) as at least you're not having to take time off to look after him.

Yep it's a ball ache but best to push through it as others have said x

It's been a bad winter for it so far - my dc has for the first time ever missed three weeks for a chest infection. It's vile, it feels never ending but you're half way through Jan now - push on.

It's called building up immunity. If you pull him out, he will eventually go back (unless you're planning to home school) and he will start all over again.

Going against the grain here, but I'd keep him off as you have a vulnerable new born baby. It can be really dangerous for babies to get RSV or flu as their bronchi are so narrow. It's much safer for them to get it when they're that bit older.

Personally with a newborn I’d keep the child home for a few months. If you didn’t have the little one then id say keep going but give me writhing going around I wouldn’t want that near my newborn!

Just wanted to add he's not new at nursery and has been going since 15 months. Because of financial issues he wasn't in last winter so did miss that.
He re started in April. He hardly caught anything in the summer months.

If you take him out of Nursery now you will have to start all over again either re-starting Nursery or at school. Your choice.

fwiw I have read that studies show 'building up the immune system' is a myth and being in nursery/catching viruses now won't affect future susceptibility to illnesses.

It has been a bad winter - all families I know including mine have had one thing after another. Lots of 2 week+ absences for flu, covid, respiratory infections etc.

He does have chance to build immunity though as he goes to groups but he just doesn't catch things as frequently so has a break between them.

I don't think this is right, it's well known that building up immunity in your early years is important for a host of reasons.

Id pull him out OP, I honestly wonder if nursery as a mechanism to build immunity is a myth, especially if you and your child are mixing in other ways.

I’d love to know more about whether it actually is beneficial for children to be constantly unwell and exposed to a rotation of illnesses that never give them the chance to recover.

That and having a newborn would be a hard no from me unless you specially wanted him to go to give you chance to have alone time with your new baby.

I agree that the first year at nursery is the worst. But if it's not the right time for you, then there is nothing wrong with taking him out either for a few months.

Take him out.

The last thing you need is for you and baby to get sick, and as selfish as it sounds you need to be the priority right now

I'd pull him out and send him back in May or September tbh. Constant cycles of infection don't strengthen the immune system, they run it down.

At 3 he'll be heading for potty training if he hasn't already. That might be fun with cluster feeding at home, so nursery would be your allie in that.

He's fully potty trained and has been for 6 months x

I’d pull him out, it sounds like he needs some recovery time. And him being ill and probably then passing it on to you and the baby is not giving you a break, it’s making your life harder! And it must be so miserable for him too.

Childminders are usually cleaner with better infection control.