To pull son out of nursery for constant illnesses?

[Elisabeth3468]

My little boy turned 3 end of December. He goes to nursery and was just doing 2 mornings and now does 3 and an afternoon. Since November he's been pretty much unwell constantly. I kept him off nursery for a couple of weeks in December as it was my due date for second baby and he was fine and no illnesses, we still socialised. He was eating so well, so happy and looked so healthy.
I know it's common for them to get unwell but this is constant. It's making our lives a misery, he always gets unwell the later half of the week too and usually end up having to try and find out of hours services to get him seen.
He's currently day 4 of the worst virus and temp of 39/40.
I've just had a baby and she's 6 days old so haven't had time to recover and next to no sleep. It's all just too much.
I'm thinking of pulling him out of nursery until the spring or just a couple of months.
Partner thinks to just keep him in as him being in nursery gives me a break and one to one time with the baby. I'd rather struggle and look after both of them than this constant never ending illnesses.
YAIBU- keep him in nursery
YANBU- keep him off and not let him get sick as often

Just to add we go to groups 3 times a week so he would still be socialising.

He's been terrible since I was pregnant and just wants me. It's been so so hard. He just screams for me for ages. He doesn't give up

To be fair, it's probably going to be worse right now because of the new baby but he needs structure and pulling him out of nursery could potentially make it worse.

@SouthLondonMum22 but he's worse and more clingy because he's poorly. So he goes to nursery and gets unwell again and the cycle continues

I wouldn't isolate of course . We go to 3 groups a week currently (well did before baby) and he socialises there. He will get the odd illness but it was never as constant when he was just doing the groups. It became constant when he was at nursery,

I breast fed him for 2.5 years to try and give him the best immunity but he's constantly unwell!
They used to be more mild when I was feeding him and he'd get over them in few days. But when I stopped then they got worse.

Another question. If I kept him off say a month but paid , would they withdraw the funding?

It's a tough decision. It has been an awful winter though for bugs and we are getting close to the end of it.

Entirely up to you, do what you feel is best for you and your family, and mental health.

I find 3 very young for nursery anyway so would have no worried about taking them out.

My lo was nearly 5 and nursery when I had a newborn so I kept her there but it was the same situation, they were both constantly ill and of course it affected the baby more

Isn't 3 very normal for nursery? The vast majority go at that age.

My son is like that too when ill, I make him the vitamin and mineral milkshakes that you can buy from most pharmacies to make sure he still gets everything he needs…….

We've made the decision to send him back to nursery next week. His behaviour has been awful since the new arrival (to be expected I know ) but I think he's bored being in the house with me BFing etc and there's not as much to do in winter. I really think he needs that structure and routine too. I am dreading the next illness but not much I can do.
We will be going back to stay and plays anyway so he could catch something there, I cannot eliminate all risks of catching something unless we completely isolate and in that case I think I'd go stir crazy.

Update -
Didn't end up sending him back to nursery as I have now caught the flu off DC. never felt so unwell , it's completely wiped me. I cannot afford for him to get anything until I fully recover so will probably keep him off a bit longer. Why are illnesses so bad this year. Never known anything like it.

Bless you OP. My son had 9 days at home recently for an awful d&v bug and once he was feeling better his behaviour was awful - he definitely was bored from having been stuck at home watching TV. I always thought his immune system was good for his age but that was until this winter 🫣

i would keep him home. My DD didn’t go to nursery (I was at home). She’s now in year 1 and have been unwell once! So it’s not a given they will be unwell all the time at school if they haven’t been to nursery! The newborn is at high risk of RSV etc

I would push through. It's normal for them to get sick all the time when they're first in a group setting. My son started school this year after two years of nursery and he hasn't been ill at all since September. His little sister who goes to nursery is still picking up regular viruses but I'm hoping she'll be similarly robust by the time she starts school.

I also think it's really helpful to send your toddler to nursery when you're on maternity leave. It means you get uninterrupted time with your newborn and your toddler has a more stimulating week with plenty of socialising with other children.

Congratulations!

Just what I was going to sy.

,.....

I would take him out for the good of the whole family. Op also has to worry about herself and the newborn. She's only talking about a couple months, and he's already had tonnes of exposure to getting sick.

My son still picks up bugs at school as do the other kids. Maybe they get over them faster with previous exposure but its not gonna prevent it totally.

Take him out, start him back after easter.

My children are in their 30s now and they started playgroup as it was then a few mornings per week building up but never more than mornings. They definitely didn’t get back to back illnesses even when at school so I’m inclined to think this building up immunity is a bit of a myth and you should do what works best for your family. At least you don’t have to launch yourself out in the mornings if you’re having rough nights with the baby.

I’d find a child minder. Same socialisation and fun for them, a break for you too and mine didn’t get any of the constant illnesses nursery kids got