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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a 4pm wedding?

220 replies

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 11:03

So looking to get married in October this year (quite short notice I know) our venue is available on the date we want but they only have 12pm or 4pm, WIBU to opt for the 4pm?

I'm thinking if we do 4pm we can then feed people at a typical tea time? It won't be a fancy wedding breakfast or anything like that, think hog roast/buffet.

Does this sound OK or will people be annoyed at having to wait around all day!?

OP posts:
lifebow · 13/01/2025 16:05

Do it and maybe get there 30 mins before for photos?

Ginkypig · 13/01/2025 16:41

RomainingToBeSeen · 13/01/2025 11:43

I'd love to go to a 4pm wedding, Ceremony, drinks, meal (at a normal time), a bit of socialising and then home/hotel.

Cuts out lots of the hanging around and whilst I'm sure it doesn't feel like 'filling time' to the bride and groom it can feel like it for guests.

As others have said it also gives more opportunity to travel on the day, get checked in, get ready at a leisurely pace etc.

This!

plus everyone will have had time for lunch and had time to do a lazy getting ready so you won’t have stressed hungry annoyed guests who want to judge every small detail not because you have made bad choices but because they are hungry or tired or are pissed off at having to have got up at 7am to get ready and travel so now just want to go home because they are DONE!

mondaytosunday · 13/01/2025 16:51

Sounds great idea! Can't stand how weddings in this country are an endurance test normally.

RampantIvy · 13/01/2025 18:12

MyGentleNavyTiger · 13/01/2025 12:27

I got married at 12, simply because I wanted to spend the maximum time sharing the day with friends and family. But I see the benefits of 4pm too.
I’m a strong believer that you have to shape the day that YOU want. Everyone else can fit in with it and will be fine 😄

I'm a strong believer that you consider the comfort of your guests as well.

Everyone else can fit in with it and will be fine

Or it won't and they leave early as has happened on more than one occasion as shown later on in this thread.

NoSoupForU · 13/01/2025 18:14

It sounds ideal. I much prefer a later wedding without all the waiting about and being herded like cattle. 12pm is way too early. It's a shit time for a guest because by the time you get ready and travel you aren't having any lunch, and you probably won't be eating until after 3pm. Being hungry is miserable.

rubiconartist · 13/01/2025 18:22

Sounds great to me. Anyone who needs to travel has time to on the day.

If I was invited to a 4pm wedding we'd go for lunch first and then turn up nice and relaxed.

LinesAndLinesAndLinesAndLines · 13/01/2025 18:30

I got married at 12pm and it was such a rush in the morning and made for a very long day. Given my time over a 4pm wedding would have been much better. I got married in November and would have loved a sunset wedding.

Original poster
B2B25 · 13/01/2025 18:32

Thanks everyone, we're going for it! Need to book it tomorrow! Grin

OP posts:
RM2013 · 13/01/2025 18:33

We got married at 4pm. Civil ceremony in a hotel. We didn’t have the budget for a huge sit down meal but we were able to invite everyone that wanted to come for the wedding at 4pm and a hot buffet afterwards. We then put a few refreshments on for those that can to the evening reception only. Loads of people said it was one of the most laid
back weddings they had been to and loved it

Littlefish · 13/01/2025 18:34

I got married at 4pm, just after Christmas. It was great! A nice lazy day for everyone. No rushing around.

It was dark when we came out of the church. Straight to the venue for drinks. We had photos in a separate room while everyone was mingling and drinking.

Meal served at about 6, I think. Very short speeches (about 15 minutes total.

No cake

Band and dancing at about 8pm

AFeastForCrows · 13/01/2025 18:40

I got married at 3pm in October and it was perfect. The morning felt really relaxed and we went from the ceremony to the reception, stopping for some photos in between. Light wasn’t an issue. Evening food was served around 6.30pm and we just spent the rest of the time partying. It was all very chilled and we didn’t feel exhausted by 9pm

caringcarer · 13/01/2025 18:45

I would think the people who have to travel from a distance will be blessing you. They won't have to travel the day before so they would only have one night travel lodge to pay for instead of two. It will be cheaper for you as you'll only have to do one lot of food. I'd advise to arrive early and get some outdoor photos with bridesmaids etc done quickly before the ceremony leaving just the ones of you and the groom to do after the ceremony before it gets too dark. I think indoor photos are lovely anyway. My favourite one of me and DH at my wedding was one of us cutting the cake.

ADHDspoonie · 13/01/2025 19:06

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 11:03

So looking to get married in October this year (quite short notice I know) our venue is available on the date we want but they only have 12pm or 4pm, WIBU to opt for the 4pm?

I'm thinking if we do 4pm we can then feed people at a typical tea time? It won't be a fancy wedding breakfast or anything like that, think hog roast/buffet.

Does this sound OK or will people be annoyed at having to wait around all day!?

I'm having a 3pm wedding this October with just an evening buffet reception. No wedding breakfast. Can't wait! I'd definitely do later, longer to get ready! xD

Wildwalksinjanuary · 13/01/2025 19:09

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 18:32

Thanks everyone, we're going for it! Need to book it tomorrow! Grin

Good luck op, have a wonderful and special wedding!! It sounds so memorable and lovely.
We lit hundreds of candles in little glass holders and it was just stunning, and made for the most romantic backdrop and photos. Use the darkness to your advantage.

rollerblind · 13/01/2025 19:14

Much better! Go for it!

Zae134 · 13/01/2025 19:26

I love a later wedding, it's so much easier to get myself and the kids ready for. Go for it!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/01/2025 23:07

So much better than 12

Lovely13 · 14/01/2025 18:54

I got married at 4pm as was only slot church had free. Worked fine. Pictures afterwards. Ferried guests in coach to reception, Dinner about 6.30pm. Everyone off home by 10.30pm!

fetchacloth · 14/01/2025 19:20

4pm is a superb time really. It prevents all the hanging around earlier in the day.

ErinAoife · 14/01/2025 19:27

4pm is perfect. Mine was at that time as well. Don't think it is short notice for a wedding in October. Got married in May and inform people in Jan, no issue whatsoever.

Tessabelle74 · 14/01/2025 19:29

We did 3.30! Lovely afternoon tea at 5 then we got the local fish and chips can to visit at 8.30, it was perfect!

iwillfollowyou · 14/01/2025 20:25

Definitely 4pm over 12!! Early weddings require lots of padding out and there's always an inevitable lull mid after. It's boring and makes for a long day.4pm is great, marry, photos, food, party. It will be lovely

battgirlatheart · 14/01/2025 22:14

We booked ours last week for 5:30pm in October.
4pm is fine

BruFord · 14/01/2025 22:22

I got married at 5 pm on Friday, we went straight to dinner afterwards, it worked out really well.

1mabon · 15/01/2025 12:22

4.00p.m. wedding is just fine, do it.

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