To feel utterly fed up with my life

[lostinthememory]

I'm in my mid 20's, I work full time and live in a small seaside town.

I earn minimum wage, and that's in a job that would be considered to be "good". If I was in a city, I'd be earning a hundred thousand a year, but because I'm not, it's minimum wage. When I qualify, I could maybe move to a better paying firm, but that's not on the cards now.

There are very few rentals in my town or the surrounding area, because every vacant home is bought to be a holiday rental. Any rental properties are either short term winter lets, or incredibly expensive to make up for the lost revenue in the summer. This means that the minimum salary required to rent these places tends to be £29,000, which I am nowhere near to.

Even if I found a place cheap enough for me to rent, I would need a guarantor. I've asked at lettings agencies before, my parents wouldn't be able to act as my guarantor because they're retired and most of their income comes from their rental properties. It's not seen as secure, despite their properties having been filled for the last 5 years. We've looked into whether I can rent from them (one of their tenants has been speaking about leaving), and the mortgage companies don't allow it. My parents don't wish to eat into their capital to pay off their mortgages, which is fine. They also don't wish to sell to me, again, it's not my choice.

There are three house shares currently available in my local area. Two are 4 bed houses with 3 men aged 45+, I don't feel comfortable applying for those as a young woman in my 20s. The other is with a woman who claims that you cannot have had contact with a cat for the last three years, due to her severe allergy. My cat died three months ago, so I'm out of luck there.

I'm lucky enough to live with my parents, but this means that if I were to leave, I'd be making myself voluntarily homeless. If my parents were to ask me to leave, the council would first try to negotiate a solution.

I just feel like I'm at a dead end. Every house up for sale is more than I'd ever be able to afford. I'm saving and saving but I never feel like I'm getting anywhere. I'm out of the house until late each night, I've considered a second job but I'm so exhausted by the time the weekend comes that I think it would finish me off. I just feel like an utter failure, I see comments on here about children being at home at age 21, and I see myself, still at home at age 25 and feel rotten. I just feel like there's no point bothering, because I will never get anywhere.

Re taking over a mortgage, possibly? I don’t know how much they are

In terms of estate planning, we're all well aware of care fees, my parents retired early

I also don't know how I'd approach that conversation with them without it sounding incredibly grabby

Is your CV good enough to get a training contract or NQ position at a City firm, OP?

Listen OP, you have it good really. You live somewhere that you like, have a very good degree, have great earning potential. You stand to inherit a fuck load of money and properties.

If you're unhappy where you are, you should start applying for those London posts. What's the worst that can happen?

Must be a huge renovation if they have had to remortgage 4 plus properties that they have owned for over 40 years to fund it.

Ah, I see you do have a good first class law degree (well done!)

@lostinthememory You are in the trough of these waves. It will get better because, believe it or not, you are doing all the right things.

At 25, you have another 40 years (or more) of earnings. The last 25 years has seen low inflation and central banks across G7 countries engaged in Quantitative Easing. This on the back of the 1988 AST legislation, which mixed oxygen and fire to house prices. But something important has happened over the last two years and not many people get it. No more central bank intervention, no tax breaks, higher mortgage costs. This is not short term. This is structural over the next 25 years and neither is it a UK phenomenon.

You do not have a property problem. Do not focus on house prices. Focus on your training and your career. Become engaged with your professional worlkd and specialise.

At 25 I had a career change with no university education and having left school at 16. I was earning £6,750 per annum. I took advantage of opportunities and trusted in myself to not waver. I got involved in a sector that is a mix of legal/ finance and worked hard for very little pay to begin with. In the supermarket I would weigh out tomatoes, onions and potatoes based on my needs for the next 7 days. I budgeted hard and was still able to run a car. I was envious of those who had family handouts, those who had private education and those who went to university. But I never had a problem with it, never had a problem with four tomatoes to last the week or that house prices were seemingly going up each year by more than my pay rises. My only problem - and therefore my focus - was to make sure I finished my studies and made the best of the opportunities I could in my first 10 years.

I eventually bought my first house - a four bed detached David Wilson house - aged 32. Then a large rural pile at 47 which is where I am now. It all happened as I had imagined it. I was never destined to inherit anything, and I didn't.

Focus on your qualification and then where you might progress next. Be prepared to move. But keep going, in no time you will be riding those waves.

Re the mortgages, maybe they're lying to me, maybe they're not. They did a ton of work on the house a few years ago, it added a huge chunk of value to the house, but that's all I know.

They don't want to rent to me and that's all there is to it, whether it's because of the mortgages or that's the excuse they're using, I can't forcibly take a tenancy in their property. They're the only people stopping me being homeless.

Try different mortgage companies ours allow it.

I haven't read the full thread but I think you are being unduly harsh on yourself. You are also still so young.

It sounds like you have excellent self awareness and although it's sad that you've had poor mental health previously, it sounds like you've reflected on it and in fact even learned from your experiences. Not to be ashamed of at all.

It sounds like you might benefit from some counselling to keep dealing with this, but also maybe a work mentor or coach, maybe a couple, so that you can get some professional guidance on the medium term once you qualify.

Good luck. Honestly I think you'll be fine, but I do know it's hard to see the wood for the trees when you're in the thick of it (speaking as someone who panicked because their grad cohort all started graduate jobs 2-3 years ahead of them- remember panicking and feeling I'd made major mistakes in my early 20s well!).

Time to apply for jobs in different places, OP, and make a new start. If your town isn’t going to do what many holiday towns do and make a good portion of rentals and homes for sale available to rentals, then it’s not worth it.

You would not be on 100k as a trainee solicitor in London. At the very most 40-50k. The law society recommends 24-27k.

All your life, right up to today, you have benefitted financially from your parents being landlords. Your housing situation now is chickens coming home to roost.

@rewilded if they wanted to, they would, I can't force them

As I've said multiple times, I don't deny I've benefitted and I also don't agree with landlords and private rentals. But they think differently and I'm not going to ruin a good relationship because we don't see eye to eye on that.

I don’t understand why you can’t move and take up the £100k salary job you think you’d get? People from all round the world have to uproot and move away from their friends and family in much worse circumstances. You’re young, make the most of opportunities that are there for the taking.

They could help you a bit more tbh as they seem to be in a comfortable position.

I moved from a seaside/countryside small town, my sisters didn’t. My life is very different to theirs. Financially poles apart plus the selection of men was pretty dire and everyone knew everyone in that town. I couldn’t wait to leave.

Finish your contract and then look to move on.

@rewilded I agree, but I can't voice that. I'd feel incredibly spoilt to sit there and ask for a house deposit/a house/somewhere to rent.

The selection of men is an entirely different matter, it's dire here to say the least

Once you qualify your earning potential will significantly increase. Trainees are paid a pittance, but you won’t be a trainee forever. Get your traineeship finished and then move somewhere with better job prospects. It doesn’t have to be London - plenty of firms have offices in Bristol, Manchester, Leeds, Newcastle etc. Get yourself out of your backwater town and high street firm and make the most of being in a career where salaries tend to be high and there is good career progression.

Appreciate that life on a training contract in a small town isn't great but you are just starting out. This isn't your life, give yourself a break and remind yourself that this is the investment you are making in your future.

I'd really encourage you to knuckle down, get qualified and meanwhile focus any other energy you have to network massively in order to secure yourself a brilliant role as a solicitor, a role which will make the sacrifices you have made literally all worthwhile.

Life is going to get better and better and it will all be worthwhile. Have at it.

Can't your parents just let you stay in one of the property's and not draw up a lease or tell the mortgage people? I don't get it. Your their daughter not like your going to skip the country and not pay rent

Firstly - and I know this will sound bloody patronising but hear me out - you are really young yet. You are, honestly. I know it doesn't feel like it, but I've got 20 years on you and I can tell you so much will change in a couple of decades.

You have a great degree, you have a training contract (not always easily secured, so that's a great achievement). You also have, for now, somewhere to live where you are happy. Those are all huge positives.

When I was your age, I'd got an entry level corporate job - pretty much filing and doing photocopying. Whilst watching my friends from school and my time at uni start climbing the career ladder - I felt like I'd been left behind and it was my fault because I'd dropped out and not completed my degree.

Things change - I did professional qualifications and worked my way up using those. And things will change once you have your training complete.

Secondly, the mortgage condition is very likely to be true. Landlords are more likely to be lenient on arrears, property damage and reluctant to evict if it's a family member. Lenders, understandably, aren't keen on the increased risk. Some will accommodate it but most won't. But you have a good living situation at the moment - and when you have qualified, move to a regional hub to get your earning power started.

Your working life is just starting - you have loads and loads of time ahead of you. You'll get there - try not to worry.

sorry just seen this post. Not sure why they don't want to tbh maybe they love having you around

Have you considered a tiny house? Could your parents fit one on their land? It would be a good investment for them, as it could be used as an Air B & B after you had moved on.

What can you control and look to improve that.

Negotiate your salary. Put a logical agreement together as to why you deserve a pay rise and ask. Part of being a solicitor is negotiating. This may help you build your agreement. www.lawsociety.org.uk/topics/hr-and-people-management/recommended-minimum-salary-for-trainee-solicitors-and-sqe-candidates

It seems you are more worried about perceptions and others than issues in the life you lead. Find joy in your life. Comparison is the their of joy.

Your living situation sounds like your parents are sound you just feel like you need to be in another place.