To have had a bowl of soup?

[PickedaPumpkin]

Normal Sunday, I’m up at 6ish with DS2 (1 yr old), DS1 (6 years old) gets up 7ish. We all have breakfast. I take DP a coffee in bed around 11, he’s awake but not up.

Midday, I give DS2 lunch, I tell DS1 I’ll make him a sandwich in a moment. DP appears.

Now, sometimes we go out on a Sunday for lunch, sometimes we don’t. Nothing planned, but DP had asked me last night where I was taking him for lunch. I made a suggestion, but nothing agreed.

When DP got up he spoke about running an errand. Fine, I thought, I’ll get on and make DS1 a sandwich. Whilst doing that, I remembered some soup in the fridge and got that with some bread & butter for myself. DP hadn’t even started his errand when he walked in and saw DS1 and I eating. His reaction was “Oh, so we’re not going out for lunch then??” I replied we could after he’d run his errand, and that it was only soup to keep me going. He said that I didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough, and he’d go out on his own (he didn’t).

My thinking, particularly for DS1, was that even if we went somewhere for lunch it would be well past 2pm before we ate, and DS1 and I were both hungry. Was I wrong for having some soup even if we were going out for lunch?

I would imagine so.

What am I even reading, you take him coffee in bed, lays in till lunch time, it’s your job to take him out to lunch and he tells you when you’ve eaten enough??

it’s like death by a thousand cuts. How can you live like this and put up with it?

He’s an arsehole…all that needs to be said really. But you already know that…

You weren’t wrong to have some soup. If I saw my DH eating lunch though, I would assume we weren’t going to go out for lunch as well. It’s not usual to have two lunches.

I probably would have firmed up plans for going out or not before making lunch for myself and the kids. You could have also set the time so you didn’t need to wait until so late. “Do you still want to go out for lunch? I’ll book for 1pm as the kids are getting hungry”.

I agree with this. If I saw DH eating lunch I'd assume we weren't going out for lunch.

Or, wild idea, he could have booked somewhere for lunch while he was lying in bed? Rather than it being ANOTHER thing for OP to manage as well as looking after their two kids all morning.

Or he could have firmed up lunch plans when he got up, since he also knows he has two children who will need to lunch and probably can't wait til 2.

It's bizarre to me that you think all the lunch responsibility should fall on the OP to sort!

If this isn't BS, then you married a teenager.

I can't believe what I've read

Why did he get a lie in?
Why did he expect you to take him out for lunch?
Why did he stay in bed all morning?
Why does he think it's ok to tell you what to eat?

Weird

Getting up at 11am when you have young kids and then expecting you to make plans and take him out for lunch!?? He sounds like a miserable, lazy, nasty cunt!!

I don’t think lunch responsibilities fall to OP but surely a quick “are we going out for lunch or shall I make DC a sandwich” isn’t too much to ask.

Even if you asked and the person said no, we'll still go out after you've finished your errand?

Whilst he lays in bed until midday while op has been up since 6?!

If he wanted to go out, he should have got his arse out of bed at a reasonable time and arranged something.

Is he the kind of DH who vetoes desserts when you're out in case you get fat?

She took him a coffee at 11am. He didn't appear until midday.

OP, I'd take the rest of the day 'off'. He had the morning, you have the afternoon. Go to bed with snacks and a book.

Snacks in bed? 🤢

She's not convalescing!

This isn’t a wind-up, I promise you that’s exactly what happened. I never get a lie-in. He’s a night owl, struggles in the week to go to bed by midnight, to get up for work at 7. So at the weekend he stays up till 2ish and lies in till somewhere between 10am and 1pm. I have to be clear about the plans for the next day if I need him up early.

So after I’d been told I’d had enough to eat and we weren’t going out for lunch, I continued to eat some biscuits as I was still hungry 😉

DP ran errand, got fast food, but also bought a small item we needed and some ingredients to make dinner, which he did. Kids are in bed and I’m about ready to fall asleep on the sofa!

He said you didn't need to eat anymore and you'd had enough?

urgh

Be careful you don't dismiss this unacceptable behaviour from him because he bought a small item and some ingredients.

I say that to my partner all the time, he's a greedy guts.

I would be pissed off if he was eating before I thought we were going out for lunch, its the sort of thing he would do as well

Obviously that doesnt apply to OP but theres nothing wrong in a partner saying that to another

He reminds me to be careful about my food as well as Ive lost a lot of weight and I want it to stay that way, its supportive for me.

Well, your partnership sounds peachy. You enjoy it. I'll be going now.

<the point whooshing past>

@PureGypsyGold's head

I'm not a middle of the night person or an early morning person, but I'm an adult with a baby and responsibilities, so I get up in the night and in the morning when the baby wakes up (unless it's the weekend and my partners turn to get up with baby) Staying in bed until 1pm is just completely bonkers considering he has a young family!

The point has not passed me by, I just find it ridiculous and totally Mumsnet for people to be suggesting she retire to bed with snacks (eating in bed is gross) because her husband had a lie in. It's normal for people to lie in on the weekend, me and my husband take it in turns. I certainly don't need to take to bed midday to regain my strength on his day to lie in 🙄

No

A lie-in till 11 when OP’s been up with a toddler since 6? Come on.

If anything is totally Mumsnet, though, it’s sweeping statements like “eating in bed is gross”.