To have had a bowl of soup?

[PickedaPumpkin]

Normal Sunday, I’m up at 6ish with DS2 (1 yr old), DS1 (6 years old) gets up 7ish. We all have breakfast. I take DP a coffee in bed around 11, he’s awake but not up.

Midday, I give DS2 lunch, I tell DS1 I’ll make him a sandwich in a moment. DP appears.

Now, sometimes we go out on a Sunday for lunch, sometimes we don’t. Nothing planned, but DP had asked me last night where I was taking him for lunch. I made a suggestion, but nothing agreed.

When DP got up he spoke about running an errand. Fine, I thought, I’ll get on and make DS1 a sandwich. Whilst doing that, I remembered some soup in the fridge and got that with some bread & butter for myself. DP hadn’t even started his errand when he walked in and saw DS1 and I eating. His reaction was “Oh, so we’re not going out for lunch then??” I replied we could after he’d run his errand, and that it was only soup to keep me going. He said that I didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough, and he’d go out on his own (he didn’t).

My thinking, particularly for DS1, was that even if we went somewhere for lunch it would be well past 2pm before we ate, and DS1 and I were both hungry. Was I wrong for having some soup even if we were going out for lunch?

It’s an awful picture @APushbikeNamedReluctance i agree

and when you say you take him what does that mean

How bizarre. If I were him I'd approach it much more lightheartedly. But I guess I would immediately think that maybe you'd changed your mind about going out.

But I'd just say 'you still up for lunch out? Better save some room'. Or something. Once he knew you still wanted to go out he should've just left it.

Whenever I go for a pub lunch I always end up talking half of it home in a doggy bag anyway!

He sounds like a miserable git. Especially as he'd been in bed up until near enough midday while you'd been up since 6?!

That's an extra six hours of exercise and calorie burning. Of course you should have had soup!

Firstly, why are you taking him for lunch after looking after dc all morning while he relaxed?

secondly, the “you’ve had enough” comment is outrageous.

no you wasn’t being unreasonable. I think you posted because you needed to hear that he was being a dick.

hope you enjoyed your soup op, and whatever you make yourself for tea!

I’d be chucking that one back in the pond!

Now, sometimes we go out on a Sunday for lunch, sometimes we don’t. Nothing planned, but DP had asked me last night where I was taking him for lunch. I made a suggestion, but nothing agreed.

Why on earth are you taking him for lunch? Dies he have any agency or is he just a grumpy git who got a massive lie in

So, soupfiend, what was it that attracted you to knob-head, presumably not multi-millionaire?

didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough

Don't marry this man and think of an escape plan. He is a controlling arse.

None of his bloody business what you eat and when

So much wrong… he had the entire morning to himself, and then sounded like it would be at least two more hours before he was going to engage in family life / spend sometime with his DC?

I mean, there's a lot wrong here. Not just the soup

A few questions OP... @PickedaPumpkin

Why is he still in bed at 11am?

Why is he asking you where you are taking him for lunch? Is this the norm for you? Does he plan or take you anywhere?

Why is he allowed to tell you when you've had enough to eat?

A few observations here

’DP had asked me last night where I was taking him for lunch’

Why are you taking him for lunch?? Why is he not taking you for lunch?

’Normal Sunday, I’m up at 6ish with DS2 (1 yr old), DS1 (6 years old) gets up 7ish. We all have breakfast. I take DP a coffee in bed around 11, he’s awake but not up.’

So you have been up for 5 hours with your children while your ‘D’P is lazing in bed and you are taking him coffee? Again I ask why? Where is your lie in and your coffee in bed.

’He said that I didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough, and he’d go out on his own (he didn’t)’

Big red controlling flag here. Why is he telling you that you don’t need to eat anymore?

Eh? He tells you when you’ve had enough to eat?

"Totally unacceptable"

According to who?! The government? Where is it written in law that it's unacceptable...!?!?
Stepping away from OP's issue for a second, her DH is an adult so if he wants to sleep in until 11 he bloody well can do! You'd be furious if OP posted saying that she'd had a lie in and her DH said that was "totally unacceptable"

He said that I didn’t need to eat anymore, that I’d had enough

"I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much."

Normal Sunday, I’m up at 6ish with DS2 (1 yr old), DS1 (6 years old) gets up 7ish. We all have breakfast. I take DP a coffee in bed around 11, he’s awake but not up.

Normal? Unless he works all the hours God sends that is far from bloody normal. I’d take him a coffee in bed too - to throw over his lazy fat face 😡
Are you his partner or home help?

God almighty why are women putting up with these utterly shameless fuckers?!

Sometimes I marvel at the women on MN (assuming OP is a woman).

Baby and toddler, up with them from 6am, he’s lolling in bed until 11am, she takes HIM a cup of coffee in bed, he asks her where SHE is taking HIM for lunch, he tells her what she can and can’t eat.

Where do these men come from? Why on earth do women consent to live like this?

'You'll know when I've had enough soup, because I'll tip the rest over your head'.

DP had asked me last night where I was taking him for lunch

Was it his birthday or something?
Is that why he was dossing about in bed all morning whilst you were up at stupid o'clock looking after the kids and why he isn't beneath the patio after telling you you'd had enough to eat?

The lazy bastard lies in his bed until midday and dictates what and how much you eat !!! Why are you spending your precious life on this fuckwit ? Is this idiot the role model you want your Sons to learn from, is this how you want them to turn out? Your 6 year old is already learning how to be misogynistic from the idiot that you live with. Save your Sons.

Wow, what a cheeky bastard.

Was he on night shift last night? You’ve been up nearly 8 hours looking after your (I assume) joint kids and he’s begrudging you a bowl of soup and trying to food shame you! Fuck that shit.

Well - it is a bit odd to be eating lunch if you’re going out for lunch. But his reaction was nasty and disproportionate, especially as you hadn’t actually made a definite plan to go out and eat. He really doesn’t sound very nice.

This has to be a wind-up.

Is that really a normal Sunday? You’re up at six, your partner (hmm) stays in bed till ELEVEN (what?!), YOU bring HIM coffee, and he’s an arsehole to you? Other Sundays are available.