To ask what you actually do if

[NoNoNona]

You do not cook, clean, tidy, drive or iron.
There seem to be a load of people on this site that do none of these things (and I am not advocating that they are the only people in a family to shoulder the burden).
So what, exactly, is your contribution?

What proportion of your life do you spend doing those things that you can't possibly imagine what other useful contributions to their families people fill their time with?

I do all those things except ironing, but I probably average...idk, an hour max a day on them (my husband works part time so does more than me). I also work 9 hours a day and look after my kids for the vast majority of the rest of the time.

I hang things up straight out the dryer and that solves most of this problem.

I also don't really care if my pillowcases "look a mess" - no-one is going to see them except me and DH!

I love cooking and driving and do basic “clean as I go”-type cleaning. But I don’t iron or do proper cleaning- I pay my cleaner to come in twice a week for that.

I don’t really understand the question about contribution. I don’t feel I need to justify my existence on earth or place in the family I have created by pointing to a pile of ironing and saying “I did that”. And while at the moment I make a huge practical contribution through the money I earn, running the house, etc, there may come a time when I can’t do these things, and I don’t feel at that point I’d be failing to contribute. I contribute myself.

There is an oddly puritan strain on MN sometimes- a sort of assumption that we’re all somehow in debt to the world and have to prove our right to be here through endless drudgery and moaning about drudgery. Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin.

I waft about looking attractive and aloof. I wear only kaftans. I cook 30 minute brownies is under 20. I eat them on my porch while building scale models of suspension bridges. I participate in full contact competitive tiddly winks. I read the classics. I have been known to devour War and Peace, A Tale of Two Cities and Anna Karenina in one afternoon. I make long, passionate, sensual love. I don’t drive, I am driven. I intoxicate men with my professional level French Horn playing, they frequently swoon at my garden party recitals. I breed prize-winning chinchillas.

My sheets are not ironed.

Ironing - the clothes are creased. that’s it.

Truly, don't see how. Wear natural fabrics like cotton and linen? They need an iron.

Good for you! Tell me more.

What do you mean what do I do? For a job?

I cook and tidy, but I don't drive or iron.

I am mid management and I read a lot to fill my non ironing time.

Making 30 minute brownies in under 20 is now a major life goal. Tell me your secrets. Do you have room in your life for a mentee?

you as well?!

I don't buy clothes that need ironing. Most things can either be dried in the dryer or hung in a way they don't crease.

I am not wasting my time and being in pain ironing. I don't even own an ironing board anymore.

I scale tall buildings in a single bound.

Genuine question-does that mean the fabrics are a mix of natural and man made fibres? I do iron, not anything like as much as I used to but I can't work out how a cotton/linen shirt or dress doesn't need an iron? Am I being a bit dense?

Are those the only things you contribute to your household, OP? If so, that's quite sad.

If not, then people who don't do those things presumably contribute all the other things you do.

Kids school shirt for example go in the tumble dryer and get hung up, same with their trousers. I hang them down the crease. They don't look creased. Yes they don't look ironed either, but clothes that have been ironed don't look ironed after an hour either.

I'll occasionally iron a garment if needed, but only if necessary.

I used to iron everything in my first marriage, then I left and have hardly iron anything. I feel the sudden freedom excused me from all tedium from that moment forward.

Absolutely get that but think DD's shirts were polycotton. Her dresses could be hung up without ironing too (talking primary age here, long gone). My working shirts/blouses/summer dresses? Needed an iron, really. I don't have and can't have a dryer. No space.

I don't wear or own shirts, blouses or typical summer dresses and dp doesn't wear shirts.

I honestly can't remember the last time I have ever touched an iron. We've been in this house for 5 years and the iron hasn't been touched since it got put in the cupboard when we moved in

I wouldn’t buy anything that looks like it needed ironing. I do like natural fibres but you can buy things with a good mix of different things now that are just as nice to wear that you don’t need to iron. I would never buy linen. It just looks scrunched up a few hours into wearing it regardless of whether you’ve ironed it or not.

Fair enough. I do wear sort of overshirts in the summer as I have to be careful with sun, long sleeved, loose cotton. Makes a change from retired uniform of t shir, fleece and jeans.

I don't iron. Except actually I do, I just don't stand behind an ironing board with a pile of laundry, I tend to iron on the go, and anything I think has the slightest chance of looking half decent without an iron doesn't get ironed, whether it's mine or the kids. DH sorts himself out. I don't cook - but I put stuff in the microwave and stuff in the oven and I make snacks and easy meals. What I do, is organise a family of five with everything they need to live their lives. I deal with everything related to our disabled DD. I do a lot for my DPs. MIL is sliding into dementia and I do a lot for her. If I didn't book holidays we wouldn't go. If I didn't book dentists we wouldn't go. If I didn't arrange nights out with friends we wouldn't go. We do the mental load. Oh, and I also work part time. Think about all the things you do that you don't do. But you do.

in what sense?

Provide companionship and help create a pleasant atmosphere in the home. Provide the things which turn the house into a home. Things like soft furnishings and choosing the decor. Being a sounding board for his ideas, plans and concerns. Make his family and friends welcome, do the garden. Organise large shopping deliveries. Organise all the gift buying wrapping. Manage our social calendar.

Most of all I make sure he knows how much I appreciate what he does.

Same! 😂 And now a six year old who eats on the sofa and gets food on them. Still, they're not something I think about washing - I just do it when they need it. Might be twice in a week or twice in a year.