AIBU to think that shopping is now a cumbersome and alienating experience?

[HauntedBungalow]

I appreciate it may just be me as I've never been one for leisure shopping - I mean I've never seen it as being a hobby or pastime, more a means to an end.

But obviously at Xmas I have to do quite a lot of it, to get presents for people, and my goodness this year it's really felt like work.

Go online - well that's just wading through pages of shit, drop boxes, pop-ups and complex return and postage policies.

In person homewares - half the time the item isn't in the shop - back to online, as above, with no real idea about what the thing looks like (it would be a cold day in hell before I drop £2k on a sofa based on nothing more than a fucking photograph). Or it's broken/no one knows what the price is etc.

In person clothing - most sizes aren't there, and even if you do manage to find something you have to scan it and bag it yourself, regardless of if you're spending a fiver or £500. Piss take.

Supermarkets - don't even get me started. Find your stuff, scan your stuff, pack your stuff into your own bags (or pay £1 for each) with not a staff member in sight ... that's a warehouse, not a shop. And, most times the shelf tickets aren't accurate, the offers don't go through, the self scan tills are dirty, the shelves are dirty, everything is in the wrong place, loads of things are missing and the entire place is freezing cold. (Why are they so cold?) It's fucking garbage.

Is this just what late stage capitalism looks like? Where everything is dowdy and crap, and you have a constant background feeling of being slightly mugged and you'll never get what you want but will spend loads of money regardless?

Reading this thread has made me so nostalgic for the days of going to Southampton and being able to buy clothes from Richards, Principles and Wallis. I also loved Bally for shoes and bags. I bought a gorgeous couple of suits from Wallis back in the late 80s, I doubt I have anything in my wardrobe that is anywhere near as nice these days.

I could spend a whole day in Southampton, there were three big department stores, Debenhams, Tyrell and Green (later John Lewis) and Plummers plus the usual M&S, BHS, Littlewoods, Woolworths. A range of other shops too, The Pier, Cargo, Habitat. Really was a day out for me.

If I went shopping there today, I doubt I'd last two hours and come home with nothing.

You are definitely NBU OP. 100% agree.

There is no human spirit left in shopping, you mostly get the sense the staff are treated like crap and probably paid accordingly, everything is reduced to the lowest common denominator which is how much money they can squeeze out of you and how far they can push denying responsibility for any problem. All whilst replacing humans with shitty apps and bots.

One of the things I hate is the constant demands for feedback and reviews if you shop online, but if you have problem there's no help to be had. It's tempting to just give terrible feedback but it requires time I don't have.

The relentless lack of humanity and genuine care alongside constant marketing demands is depressing. It's even from the NHS and power companies now too. After a power cut I got a text asking 'how was your power cut experience'. For fucks sake. Just actually employ humans. If it's anything like the company I work for, they pay hundreds of thousands to tech companies for apps and bots because they delude themselves this is what we want: we don't. If you're going to be evil corporate fuckers, maybe just own that.

The thing that is the most depressing is the AI generated responses which start with something like 'we're sorry that.... (we've fucked up your life in some way)' - when you know it's a robot saying it it's just frankly an insult. A bit like 'how was your power cut experience'. Really shitty, thanks, I lost an entire fridge and freezers worth of food, costing hundreds of pounds and couldn't get any information on how long it would last. My children were freezing and crying and we received no compensation. And the options they gave me for feedback only went down to 1 - so I couldn't even leave 0 or, preferably, a minus number that reflected the temperature outside when all this happened.

Agree. Wallis used to have some beautiful clothes. And The Pier was fabulous, I bought lots of gorgeous Christmas decorations from them when they were sadly going out of business. I used to love wandering round the big department stores, they were my happy place. Wandering round Primark with its acres of cheap tat just isn't the same!

I used to love clothes shopping, probably up until 2020. As a teen, in my 20's, my exH loved clothes shopping, our dc love clothes shopping. In my early 50's now and I loathe it. I saw a Stacey Dooley documentary on fast fashion and it really made me think. I buy some new but mostly second hand charity shops or Vinted and I really enjoy that.

I mean I wouldn't call myself a wanker, and I bought a brand new car online. I was able to spec the car to how I wanted it, without a BMW salesman in my ear trying to upsell or upgrade me to add more. All in the comfort and leisure of my own home. Perhaps you should try it, if you hate shopping as much as you say you do.

Car was delivered to my door after it had been through production.

I was in Barcelona in December and the choice was either designer shops outwith my budget or the same Zara/Bershka etc fare. There were lots of independent clothes shops but they were small so felt quite intimidating to go into to me. Not sure what the answer is. I buy mostly online to get choice but then complain there's too much choice.

I think the experience rich people have with shopping is very different to the rest of the masses. If you can afford a BMW I expect it was lovely.

The rest of us get treated like disposable shit. We're going backwards.

Basically, if you can pay through the nose, you can have a nice shopping experience, otherwise not.

Back in the day, when Russia used to be a byword for a lack of consumer products, there was a joke about a Russian man seeing his friend carrying an empty shopping bag, standing outside a store & looking confused. He asked his friend what was wrong & got the reply, "I can't remember whether I was about to go in & do some shopping or if I've just been in there."

That keeps coming back to me as shops around here (allegedly a naice area in the south of England) disappear. In my two nearest large towns, which used to be good for leisure shopping, all the department stores & both branches of M&S have gone. Other well-known or much-loved shops have vanished, or are about to. I just don't see any reason to go there any more; in fact, it seems positively depressing to see them now. I just make a quick dash for the one shop I want & get out of the place as quickly as possible.

'I think the experience rich people have with shopping is very different to the rest of the masses. If you can afford a BMW I expect it was lovely.

The rest of us get treated like disposable shit. We're going backwards.

Basically, if you can pay through the nose, you can have a nice shopping experience, otherwise not.'

@haterobotcrap eh? Who said I was rich? Im not claiming to be going without here, but I'm not rich.

It's mass consumerism that is the problem. I can go into a large supermarket or my nearest big city and the shopping experience will be dire.

If I were to go to my local market town, I can go to small, independent shops where the salespeople will be lovely and will give me advice on what to buy and it will be like shopping in the 1950s. I can buy local fish, fresh bread, nice homewares and even order a range cooker in the colour of my choice. The trouble is, you have to be absolutely minted to afford this now. I once tried shopping primarily in the local independent grocer/bakery/fishmonger/deli and spent £1200 on food in one month.