AIBU to think that shopping is now a cumbersome and alienating experience?

[HauntedBungalow]

I appreciate it may just be me as I've never been one for leisure shopping - I mean I've never seen it as being a hobby or pastime, more a means to an end.

But obviously at Xmas I have to do quite a lot of it, to get presents for people, and my goodness this year it's really felt like work.

Go online - well that's just wading through pages of shit, drop boxes, pop-ups and complex return and postage policies.

In person homewares - half the time the item isn't in the shop - back to online, as above, with no real idea about what the thing looks like (it would be a cold day in hell before I drop £2k on a sofa based on nothing more than a fucking photograph). Or it's broken/no one knows what the price is etc.

In person clothing - most sizes aren't there, and even if you do manage to find something you have to scan it and bag it yourself, regardless of if you're spending a fiver or £500. Piss take.

Supermarkets - don't even get me started. Find your stuff, scan your stuff, pack your stuff into your own bags (or pay £1 for each) with not a staff member in sight ... that's a warehouse, not a shop. And, most times the shelf tickets aren't accurate, the offers don't go through, the self scan tills are dirty, the shelves are dirty, everything is in the wrong place, loads of things are missing and the entire place is freezing cold. (Why are they so cold?) It's fucking garbage.

Is this just what late stage capitalism looks like? Where everything is dowdy and crap, and you have a constant background feeling of being slightly mugged and you'll never get what you want but will spend loads of money regardless?

For me it's partly because a lot of the clothes aren't for me, I'm too clammy for polyester and beige just makes me look like something from a butchers display. When I do need new clothes it's more like a frustrating trawl for the least worst option.

I never liked shopping in person - out for hours and still not finding what you wanted. Now I do all the '"I need this specific item" shopping online and only occasionally have a mooch round the shops when they are interesting.

@Garlicnorth

But I still don't know why it's so bloody keen on apps.

It's because of the cost and effort to keep two different systems operating. In the future, there will be only apps.

Far more people use a smart phone or ipad daily than who use a laptop or desktop computer daily. Younger people just reach for their phone/tablet when doing things like checking train times, online banking, online shopping, etc. They're using laptops for things like writing essays and homework etc, so once they've left school/college/Uni, their laptop will end up in a cupboard!

When there's the critical mass on app users only, they will start turning off the website browser versions of their systems.

I rarely shop in person any more - what’s the point as nothing I want to look at is ever in stock. John Lewis is particularly bad for this.

I agree OP, I used to love shopping. I remember going to the high street trying on clothes, so much choice and quality and great service. Used to love getting a bargain too.

Now there are hardly any shops, quality is poor and the service (mostly) awful. My DD ordered a load of stuff from Zara last week, all a size 10 but all varied massively in size, she then had to pay to send it all back!

I keep hoping it will be the end of pointless consumerism but doubt it given the shite on offer.

You sound irritable. Are you this dissatisfied in other areas of your life? I'm asking because I feel like you're hyper focusing on all the negatives and that's not the full picture.

I find in person shopping a pain now. Like you say, they often don't have the full range of items or sizes in the shop. I usually only go to in-person shops now to return items I bought online (when I'm already in the town anyway for work or other errands). I have a browse while I'm there and rarely find anything good. I'm glad they're there for true emergencies but shopping for most things is something I do online now.

I don't find online shopping a pain at all, I love how easy it is. I don't find returns complicated, but I do regularly go into a town for work. I guess it's mildly annoying having to order a lot of things at once (and have the money "on hold" until I return things) rather than just try on the items in store, but the items are never in store anyway so it's kind of moot.

I agree in general and am aware that funnily enough because I'm rich and live in a city I avoid a lot of this (but not all of it). So I do my food shopping in Waitrose (pleasant, usually meet a friend on the checkout) the local Coop or markets because we still have a proper market. I agree clothes shopping is fairly painful, I buy clothes on Ebay, charity shops, John Lewis (which to me is the only place it's still enjoyable to browse) or small websites called something like Wool for Wankers which assures me that the jumper I'm buying is from sheep that are personally invited to tea with the farmer once a week. I deliberately avoid any organisation that uses Evri and I don't look at sales, discounts or apps (again except for John Lewis who probably count as my religion these days).

All this is because I have money. The great democracy of shopping we used to have is long gone.

I came onto your thread thinking I wouldn't particularly agree with you, @HauntedBungalow but the summary in your OP was really telling and I do agree with you.

Strange that this bleakness should happen just at the time when capitalism basically depends on us buying endless crap that we don't really need just for the thrill of purchase.

Makes me think of a street corner drug dealer who can be as vile as he likes to the worn out broken wraith who buys from him, just because he knows how fully addicted she is.

In the future, there will be only apps.

Fucking hell, how depressing.

I'm seeing quite a lot of 'websites' now that don't work on a browser. They don't scroll, so you only see the top bit, and/or the menus are inactive. I've been assuming they were built by twerps who've absorbed the "mobile first" paradigm without finishing the process, which goes on to adjust for all different kinds of browsing environments. Your reply's made me wonder if the businesses only have apps in reality, and are just serving the same thing to Web browsers.

I'm also wondering whether this is the same everywhere, or is the UK particularly stupid? We seem to be specialising in making it very difficult for customers to buy!

I’ve never gone shopping for fun, not since I was about 16 anyway. Was gobsmacked ages ago to see shopping described (in an American mag) as a ‘leisure pursuit’.

I buy most of my clothes online, from a very few retailers, where delivery is quick and returns are very easy - and I know their sizing. If there’s a Royal Mail option for delivery I choose that, since the post here is very good and reliable.

I do food shopping in person, mostly Asda, but also Sainsbury’s, M&S and Waitrose. I won’t use any supermarket where you’re expected to self-serve a big shop, or there are hardly any staffed checkouts. For a few items I don’t mind.

I've never lived near a town with all those ! My nearest John Lewis must be 80 miles away, ditto IKEA, Costco and shops I would actually like to visit now and then, but none in my entire County. I sometimes wonder at the lack of the aforementioned shops in some areas.

I had a terrible experience with online delivery at Christmas, from quite a few different companies. Some things didn’t arrive until after Christmas.
That’s it for me now. If it’s not physically available in the shop, I’m just not buying it.

I haven’t bought new clothes for myself for ages (apart from socks, I always seem to get holes and have to replace) - the quality is worse new than my existing clothes that are 10 years+ old, so why would I bother?

I like my local small supermarkets. Yes, they can be more expensive - often not though! But at least they have manned checkouts and aren’t some freezing cold cavernous dimly-lit warehouse where you can’t reach the stuff on the top shelves have to scan your receipt in order to leave.

@Garlicnorth I have to be fair always associated British businesses with the experience of them being actively annoyed or upset when you attempt to pay, as if taking your money is an insulting process for them that YOU are insisting on.

Yeah I wonder - it may be because Americans in general have, at least in my experience, friendlier more upbeat dispositions.

YANBU! I used to love clothes shopping in person- absolutely loved it.

Hate it now. Nothing is ever in stock, last three times I tried I was told they didnt have it in stock and told me to look online so now thats all I do. Till staff have reduced presumably to reduce costs so you have to queue for ages and parking where I lives costs £15 for 3 hours so it's just no longer worth it for me. Online is easier, returns are easy and I can usually get a discount code online that you cant get in shops.

I see so many people wang on about keeping the high street going but why should I when it costs so much money to park there only to be told to go online anyway? It's a complete waste of my time and money.

Unfortunately towns and councils have only made properties affordable to the conglomerates. As such we see the same shops across every single town and it's soul destroying.

I'm going against the grain and opening an independent shop soon. I've been an online retailer for over 13 years. I've found it's getting harder and harder to sell online, not necessarily because people aren't shopping, but all the red tape that keeps getting shoved on me day after day. As a shopper, I'm finding online shopping harder and harder. Poor quality goods, things going missing, delivery companies dumping things wherever they please. It's too stressful. I did most of my Christmas shopping in person this year. I went to Leeds city centre where they have a lot of good independent shops. It was so much nicer.

The only way there will be change is if we want it to and those who do open and have independent shops, go out and support them. Yes they are more expensive than B&M and Primark, but that's because they sell better stuff! My next door neighbours raid B&M for tat every week. The amount of stuff they put outside that is broken within a couple of months is unreal.

High streets are identical from one town to the next. It's as if there's a ticklist.
M&S✅
Boots✅
Superdrug ✅
John Lewis ✅
Next ✅
WH Smith ✅
McDonald's ✅
And many more big chains

I wish we had all those! We have Superdrug, M&S food store, Boots, WH Smith and McDonald’s between the High street and my towns retail outlet.

Definitely no Next or John Lewis or anything similar. Our high street is fairly dead. I tend to go for the banks or the library.

I’d have to travel about 20 minutes to get to a town or city that has all of those stores.

I've got to the stage where I actually enjoy food shopping way better than clothes shopping. At least in a supermarket I pretty much get what I want and if not can easily go to another one in easy distance.

Clothes shopping is a nightmare for me now, I don't know what suits me any more, there are hardly any stores to look at the clothes and driving to the nearest city centre is now around at lest an hour, 20 odd years ago it was about 25 minutes. Then you've got to find somewhere to park and pay the extortionate parking fees.

I have a wedding sometime this year and I'm already stressing about buying something to wear. I'm really not looking forward to it but years ago, I would have loved looking around for clothes and accessories to buy, it was really easy and dare I say it, enjoyable.

@DelilahBucket exciting news! Will you be in Yorkshire and what will you be selling?

Absolutely! Spent £300 there last summer on various pairs of trainers, PE kit, football boots etc. And no bag!!! I was so disgusted that I made my kids carry out their own stacks of shoeboxes whilst muttering that it was a pisstake. I’m sure no one at SD cares a jot about my disgust but made me feel better! It also annoys me that if you order online, it’s £4.99 for standard delivery or £4.99 to collect in store. What’s that about? Would love to boycott them but multiple sporty children means that can be tough 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes, West Yorkshire. I will be moving my soft furnishings business in and selling UK produced and/or designed products on behalf of other very small businesses.

This is such an exaggeration

I've been feeling the same and was actually thinking about starting a similar thread, but might as well add to this one.

I'm all for progress when it actually works, but so often it bloody doesn't. I too am frustrated at needing to do everything online, zero customer service, needing an app or QR code to do anything and then not being able to get any help when it goes tits up. It started going this way quickly during Covid for obvious reasons and has carried on going too fast despite some of the technology not being ready. It's depressing and frustrating. For example:

Self service tills in the supermarket. Fine when they work but nearly every shop it bongs because of a weight or other issue & you have to wait for one of the few staff to come & sort it. The other day, an item of fruit had the tag with the bar code missing, couldn't add it manually so called the assistant who told me (quite rudely) that I needed to go and get another one so I had to trapse to the other end of the shop to replace it so I could continue scanning my shopping. Obviously this was because she was meant to be manning the self service tills and there was a lack of staff but previously a member of staff would've been on hand to help.

It's not just shopping, a few others...

Bank branches closing and having to do everything on line. This has mostly been fine as I don't do anything complicated but I recently needed to pay in a cheque (which I rarely do) and the app wouldn't scan it despite my best efforts. A quick Google told me It's a common issue with Samsung & Barclays apparently so my only option is to go to a branch which is 5 miles away and only open when I'm working so God knows when I'll get to go.

Parking apps and no other option to pay, mostly fine as I have most of the common apps on my phone but I was recently in a different area and spent ages trying to download and register on a new app with limited phone signal. Arghh, such a waste of time!

I could go on and on but one final one that frustrated me recently was a group of us went to an escape room where there was a QR code to sign the waiver. Several of us couldn't scan it and there was limited phone signal so we asked if we could sign manually. We were told absolutely not and no waiver = no entry. We were all crammed into a small foyer trying to figure it out and ended up passing round the few phones that worked to enter our details. Massive waste of time!!!

Why is life so bloody hard!!!!