To have told a friend DH was home watching Gossip Girls

[arcticpandas]

I admit I was laughing about it with a friend as she told me her DH was home playing PlayStation Fifa or something. Problem is she teased him about it this evening and he went really mad at me saying I should not talk about his private life. Ffs. When I teased him about it earlier saying I don't think many 50 year old men watching that he went all defensive saying it was funny with a lot of romantic stories involved so not really a woman thing. I said no, rather teen girls thing because I know I couldn't stand to watch it. So yes, I was making fun of him but at the same token was it such a private matter ? I mean he clearly felt it was perfectly normal to watch Gossip Girls so why doesn't he own it? He went out fuming and I just think he overreacts. I told him we were laughing about her 50 year old husband playing PlayStation so it wasn't as he was the only one targeted. Was I out of line? Was it a too private thing to have shared?

I'd never even heard of Gossip Girls.
I just googled it.
I'm not surprised your DH didn't want anyone to know he watched it. I'm surprised he let you know he watched it.
It does make him seem weird.

I would be upset if DH did the same.

Stop ridiculing him.

You're laughing at him, not with him, which is pretty unpleasant.

You were making fun of your DH to a friend, of course you were out of line, and unreasonable. I doubt you'd like it if he was laughing with a friend about your big granny knickers (or something personal).

Apologise to him profusely, and don't do it again if you plan on keeping him as your DH.

Seems pretty mean-hearted to me. I wouldn't like DH laughing with his mates about my choice of TV show.

Also sounds a bit sexist. Are men not allowed to watch programmes that women enjoy? It might be targeted at teens but I know loads of women who watch Gossip Girl. It's a bit of relaxing fun.

Even if he did ‘’own’’ it, his annoyance isn’t about you telling someone what he’s watching, but more the fact that you had cruel intentions by telling your friend. You set out to shame him and take the piss with your friend.

I couldn’t give a stuff what people think of what I like to watch on tv - sometimes I don’t know why I like something, I just do. I would be unhappy if I knew someone deliberately tried to humiliate me over it, though. I guess that says more about you than him

You told your friend something so that she could laugh at your husband. That’s pretty unpleasant regardless of what the show was or your opinion of it.

Im in my early-ish 30s and have loads of friends who rewatch Gossip Girl and the Gilmore Girls etc frequently, which means their husbands do, too. It’s not amusing enough to be a worthwhile anecdote, so it’s just mean spirited.

I don’t think the fact that you were also laughing about her husband makes it any better, it just makes you both sound mean.

Surely you can see it's a very different thing for one partner to rib the other about something they do and very different to go away and laugh about it with friends?

The only reason you even told her was so that you could mock him and you could both laugh at him together. I'm not surprised he feels humiliated, this is the exact mean-girl-bully stuff that is purposely designed to hurt and embarrass the target.

Why don't you just tell him outright "I find you and your hobbies cringey and you deserve to be a laughing stock", since that's what you obviously think?

It's sounds like you may have shamed him. You both are having issues around d what is appropriate for a given gender

Tbh I think lighthearted teasing about something like that is fine. Gossip Girl is definitely aimed at teenage girls but that's not to say other demographics won't enjoy it. My DH went through a stage of watching America's Next Top Model religiously when I was away travelling with work and I thought that was funny, not in a mean way but more...cute. We would both laugh about it together as he recognised he wasn't the target audience. So I don't think you were mean if you had a bit of a joke about it, as long as you weren't judging him. Does sound like he was a but defensive tho

Having said all that, I watch alot of things that would be more marketed at men (action films like Fast and Furious, classic Arnie and Sly films etc) and no one ever laughs at me for that. So it is a bit double sided. We laugh at men for watching 'girlie' stuff but no one comments if women are more into 'blokie' stuff

And yes I know plenty of women like action films and plenty of men like rom coms but they are definitely marketed at different demographics

You were ridiculing your DH, honestly it's mean. I'd be hurt if my DH did this.

I think you teasing him is one thing. Telling your friend, both of you laughing at him, then her taking the piss is another. You shouldn’t have shared that.

Well, it's not nice to take the piss out of your partner about him watching a tv show, no matter whether you think it's crap or not. He's overreacting by saying it's his 'private life' but he obviously feels humiliated.

Would it be funny to you if your husband was making fun of you and laughing at you with his friends? Not a very respectful way to treat a partner, so yeah I think you've been unreasonable.

You and your friend need to grow up

Yeah your a moron who ridicules their husband

DH and I watched all the original Gossip Girl series together.. it's hilarious and absolutely unhinged. He was asked into it as me. And my DH is as masculine as they come! I don't think it only appeals to women.

As for the 'making fun' it really depends on how it was said. I'd probably say the same if my friend said 'oh my DH is home watching the football' i might say 'oh mines watching gossip girl' and we might laugh... but absolutely not because I think any less of DH. It's just unexpected and so is funny!!
I'm not sure it really merits getting angry over... your DH sounds insecure.
Mine would openly admit he likes Gossip Girl and he'd just laugh along if anyone found that funny. Coz who cares really??

Don't tell mutual friends something that you have agreed to keep secret

But if it wasn't agreed, you're OK

Oh wait, you were taking the piss? Yeah that's definitly shitty

✅

definitely

A little light teasing between spouses is one thing, but it's hardly a surprise that a straight male of 50 wouldn't advertise what most would find a quirky viewing choice. It does seem like you were making fun of him with your friend, which is a betrayal of his trust. You probably wouldn't like it if you discovered he was laughing at you with his friends, mocking something harmless but mildly embarrassing about you.

How would you feel if your husband was telling a friend about something you do, and they were all laughing about you?