I’m in a mood. What should be banned (lighthearted)

[Merryoldgoat]

Fucking door knocking charity callers. Why is it allowed? It’s intrusive and I bloody hate it.

Pink deodorant - always cloying and horribly floral.

Having to refill rinse aid

I think the menopause is hitting hard today.

I agree on that one! And especially snow and ice.

Love it.

If this was me...

"She is working on three things right now, her irritable bowel, her shite attention span and the fear that her love life has been so non existent that her vagina may have atrophied permanently and irrevocably in her 30s.

She's definitely not actually me though. She's just a friend of mine. Who none of you have met yet."

Oh no! Are charity knockers still going door to door? I haven't had any in a while and thought they thought it wasn't worthwhile.

Who wants to sign up and give their bank account details to a stranger on the doorstep? Who has the funds for all of this?

Abbreviation of words.
A colleague at work said she "had a cuppa and a choccie bickie"
She's 43 years old ffs

Vogue (married to Spencer) doing that washing pod commercial. (You were exposed after your tantrum on the airline)

People who say “for my sins”

Anyone who actually tells you how they are when you ask how they are.

Bloody pomegranate seeds.

When I had piggies I would buy a pack of the leafiest celery I could find , they ate the leaves and DH had the stalks

People on their phones the whole time. I include me. Ladies look queue at half time at football last night, everyone on their phones while queuing. And then I joined them 🙄😬🤨

Twice today TWICE I heard the phrase "Kicking The Can Down The Road" on TV , usually said in regard to the Government.

It makes me cringe .

Cyclists who have flashing lights.
People who watch videos on their phone in public spaces.
The word ‘journey’ used metaphorically.
Side roads that are ice rinks.
People who ask you to do things but don’t do what you ask them to do.
People who have a strop about being persecuted when they have actually fucked up.
The brilliant pre-icer spray I bought that definitely doesn’t let your windscreen freeze but is like a jelly layer when you put your wipers on.

I need to hibernate and stay away from the world this weekend I think!

Shaving all your body hair off (but only if you are man lol)

Ditto people saying "I hate to tell you!" and you know they're loving it.

Btw the On The Beach family are back on our screens with the rude greedy kid. You've been warned Mumsnetters.

My DH when he has the slightest fucking sniffle 🤣 coughing his bastard germs all over the place.
Fake people
Cyclists who ride 3 or 4 abreast
People who leave toast crumbs all over my work surface (dh-again!)
Periods
Perimenopause
Aches and pains
Hair washing day
ARMPIT HAIR!

Im in a fantastic mood today

Teenage boys with their hands down their pants.

My DH drives me BATSHIT when he is eating nuts (peanuts/dry roasted/cashews...) He has a little bowl with around 80-100 nuts in it, and he eats them ONE AT A TIME! Makes me feel actually genuinely violent. I have to leave the room. It is sooooooooooooo irritating.

I am sure I can think of other things that need banning. But yeah, as the OP said, people knocking the door begging for money. AND chuggers outside Morrisons and Sainsburys trying to get you to sign up for a monthly payment to their charity. I can't leave the store without passing them.' Madam, do you like animals???' (No I fucking hate them!) I pretend I am on my phone quite often, so they can't engage with me as I am 'talking to someone.'

Also people trying to sell me a funeral plan or trying to get me to make a will. I juts say 'not interested thanks' Yet 2 days later will man/funeral man is still there and he asks me again. And again. And again. It's intrusive and fucking annoying.

Chuggers in general. Fuck off.

Ooh ooh! Another one. People are always "welcoming a baby". You can't just have a baby in the media

Those people who come in the supermarket where I work and 'rearrange the shelves' - you know the sort, who 'amusingly' take a frozen pizza and hide it down the back of the tins section or put ice cream in the toothpaste shelving or small bars of chocolate behind the dogfood.

Fuck off you bastardy bastards, I spend half my shift trying to tidy up your messes, you twats.

Thank you, I feel better now.

Could someone come up with a way to bypass menopause, please?

Kids that throw other kids shoes on the school roof on the coldest day of the year.

Ditto schools that do FA about said kid repeatedly bullying anyone smaller than him.

(my kid’s shoe came off when he kicked a ball, a kid literally twice his size grabbed the shoe and threw it on the roof, leaving my kid shoeless on frost covered ground). The teacher didn’t do anything about it at all.

The packets of bacon that have the easy to peel plastic open edge but when you pull it, it doesn't open the packet. Why put it on if it doesn't work? Boils my piss.
Myself, for always attempting to pull it open first, even though I know it wont, instead of just getting the scissors to open it in the first place.
Also this cold weather.

Oh, and people who say, not gonna lie. I should hope fking not.

She has bad grammar and she is a pretentious twerp.

The lazy entitled cunt in a Range Rover on the school run. Pub over the road from school (secondary) happy for their huge car park to be used. Crossing right by the car park. Should be perfect.

Mrs Cunt Rover however pulls across the car park entrance. If she's early she waits there. Stupid cow needs to be banned from breathing

Tweens making youtube content.

Dogs that jump up at you whilst their owners do fuck all to stop them

Kids that run around in restaurants whilst their parents do fuck all to stop them

Tin openers that dont!

Umbrellas that blow inside out.

Fake loud look-at-me laughter

Cod