One child has inherited AGAIN

[EWAB]

A decade ago my younger son benefited from a massive inheritance.

Essentially my MiL bypassed her three children and left everything to her 6 grandchildren.

The grandchildren: 2 siblings, 3 siblings and my younger child.

SHE WAS ENTITLED TO DO AS SHE PLEASED. IT WAS HER MONEY.

The fallout was quite seismic for lots of reasons. My partner felt that as he only had one child the family of the brother with 3 children benefitted disproportionately.

It was said at the time and I believe this to be the case that the will was designed like this. to stop my elder child from a previous relationship from benefiting as he might have done 40/50 years later if the money had gone directly to my partner.

As for my relationship, my partner refused to consider changing our wills leaving more to elder child who was at the time very unlikely to inherit from his own father. He is now on property ladder but any inheritance will pale into insignificance compared with younger child’s

Well it’s happened again!

Late MiL’s half brother has left his entire estate to the MALE grandchildren of his siblings. Younger son and partner’s nephew and we think 2 or 3 others.

HE WAS ENTITLED TO DO WHAT HE WANTED WITH HIS OWN MONEY.

I genuinely can’t contemplate my two sons having such vastly different lives.

I want advice to come to terms with it . I have disabled voting. I can’t talk to anyone.

Posters have taken it from a different thread from OP, not this one

I hate it when people do that

I was also wondering about why you are not married. Is this to stop you inheriting if your dp passes?

I don't think so, if the other one inherited as much or more, years or maybe decades before, and had a lot more time to benefit from it. She can explain the reasoning, and unless he's completely irrational (or greedy) he should understand.

If elder sons father got on the property ladder at 45, then isn't there a chance he will inherit from him, which depending on situation could be more.
Or are you expecting his fathe to leave anything to both equally as you clearly think should happen the other way round.

Me? No. I'm one of those people who brings the other children a bag of sweets when it's one's birthday. But I do not expect other people to do that or demand that they do that for my own children. I'm also a stepchild and had no expectations that my half-brother's grandparents would buy me presents. I got from my own grandparents. And my grandparents didn't buy for my half-brother because he has nothing to do with them.

I feel so naughty I am not even good at looking at people's previous threads.

You could change your will to leave your entire estate to your son. Your dh can decide what his will looks like

If you buy gifts for both the related child and the step-child, then your actions show that you do see them as a nuclear family.

It looks like your MiL clearly meant to cause decension in the family with her will and specifically arranged it so that her step-grandson would not inherit her estate. Unpleasant. You need to make specific provision now for you elder DS.

My half siblings will be inheriting at least 10x the maximum I am ever likely to inherit. They have also had houses bought for them (which are now worth 7 figures).

Such is life. It's not a big deal.

Eh, no, it doesn't. It just means I buy all the children gifts. It doesn't make them family. Like I said, when I give a child something on their birthday, I usually give their siblings something too. It doesn't mean I consider it to be their birthday too.

How can you expect someone else’s money be inherited by your children that have nothing but association to do with your partner? That seems quite entitled and you should be happy that the son you do share with said partner received his fair share and leave it at that.

As for their futures being quite, unfortunately, that is a potential reality when you have multiple children from multiple fathers OP.

Perhaps the other childrens father should be expected to step up for his biological children instead of rather entitledly expecting handouts from your other childs family.

All the best. 💐

Why would the mil have left money to him?

He will inherit from his own father.

Why wouldn’t the eldest understand that he isn’t owed the same as his brother from people that aren’t his relatives? Why would he expect OP to favor him in her will over her youngest?

Besides, Op doing that means her partner could just turn around and leave his assets entirely to his son, meaning her eldest wouldn’t be any better off anyway. He could even be worse off, depending on who the assets actually belong to (considering OP and her partner aren’t married).

Well I for one am pleased that reading comprehension skills seem to be thriving - bravo to the British education system. Am sure the OP is so glad she posted.

Not sure why @HollyKnight 's grandparents thought her half-sibling was nothing to do with them. Surely, they were also their grandchild? I'm confused. Unless we are talking step-siblings?

Lol at the “all the best” and flowers after the rude, condescending and completely unsympathetic post.
So English.

My other grandparents. The ones not related to my half-sibling.

Are you English?

When you give a child a gift, do you give their neighbour’s child a gift too?

As opposed to people from myriad other countries that would put it far more bluntly?

The best message you can teach your sons OP is 'Life isn't always fair'.

They're adults now at 18 & 24, I'm sure they're probably figuring that out themselves too.

Disinheriting one child because the other wasn't left money by someone they weren't related to is extremely shitty behaviour, frankly. I hope the OP doesn't do that, because that is something that will cause long term problems between the brothers.

That's a stupid question. What's the point you are trying to make? Because I give gifts to both half-siblings in a household it means I consider them to be a nuclear family? It doesn't. I would consider them to be a step/blended family.

The same as I did when I was part of one. I have two families (my parents separately). My half-sibling only has one family (his parents together). I have an extended family that I share with my half-sibling and another extended family that I do not share with him. Same for him. The one we share treats us the same. We were not part of each other's other extended family.

I don't know why that's so hard for people to understand.

I am your DP in this situation, my children will likely inherit a fair amount from my grandmother and parents, but I have a step son who will not be left anything in their wills. My DH is unphased by this, we hope that we will build up enough over the next (hopefully) several decades that we can split a fair whack equally between them. Yes my step son won't inherit the same as my bio kids, but he will inherit from his mum's side. Just the way of things when you have blended families, kids will get different opportunities and experiences and there's nothing we can do about it other than accept and make the best of things.

I had a lovely childhood and wanted for nothing, lovely holidays etc, I have younger step siblings who have probably had more 'treats' than I did due to my parent being better off during their childhood than mine. But it doesn't bother me and I'm not resentful. It's just life!