One child has inherited AGAIN

[EWAB]

A decade ago my younger son benefited from a massive inheritance.

Essentially my MiL bypassed her three children and left everything to her 6 grandchildren.

The grandchildren: 2 siblings, 3 siblings and my younger child.

SHE WAS ENTITLED TO DO AS SHE PLEASED. IT WAS HER MONEY.

The fallout was quite seismic for lots of reasons. My partner felt that as he only had one child the family of the brother with 3 children benefitted disproportionately.

It was said at the time and I believe this to be the case that the will was designed like this. to stop my elder child from a previous relationship from benefiting as he might have done 40/50 years later if the money had gone directly to my partner.

As for my relationship, my partner refused to consider changing our wills leaving more to elder child who was at the time very unlikely to inherit from his own father. He is now on property ladder but any inheritance will pale into insignificance compared with younger child’s

Well it’s happened again!

Late MiL’s half brother has left his entire estate to the MALE grandchildren of his siblings. Younger son and partner’s nephew and we think 2 or 3 others.

HE WAS ENTITLED TO DO WHAT HE WANTED WITH HIS OWN MONEY.

I genuinely can’t contemplate my two sons having such vastly different lives.

I want advice to come to terms with it . I have disabled voting. I can’t talk to anyone.

Absolutely none of your business to go tattling around your partner's family, OP. Don't embarrass yourself. Definitely don't embarrass your sons.
How can you be so shocked and in such pain as you claim? What did you expect?

One poster said ‘There are various things to consider when having multiple children, especially with different fathers.’

There definitely is a judgement on women.

Who is this?

Glad you see it to Oakleaffy.

You don’t have to view it as a ‘secret,’ it’s just information that isn’t anyone else’s business to share. I haven’t questioned my siblings on where they get their money, i don’t see why your elder child would need to know anything about his brother’s inheritance. Your sons are both adults now, they will live different lives but surely you expected that they might have different life outcomes. I think your emotion is disproportionate, it’s not like your elder child has gone through a trauma or had a great loss, he’s just not received money where your younger son has. Your elder son will be fine, his life is no different today since his brother has gotten this money than it was a year ago, life is no worse for him!

The Musky one.

I'd be furious if someone thought they had the right to talk about my private financial business with someone else without my permission.

Its not OPs information. Its not a 'secret', its just not anyone elses business.

I guess because unfortunately men are pretty shit often when they split they see their children as an extension of their current women.

While mum has the children 90% of the time and then adds half’s siblings with the new man and then moans about his rich family.

Shittt dad might have more children with another women but he doesn’t moan that his new wife’s parents are not spending on his original child who his dropped like a hot turd (because his shit and not parenting much so doesn’t care)

Story ending… Men can be shit dads and husbands… new husbands don’t make new families apart from them being a step daddy.

If you personally want to protect your child from being the poor relative man or women. Don’t marry and start a new family with a richer family.

It’s not OP’s ‘secret’ to share. Her youngest is an adult, if he wants to talk about his finances it’s up to him to do so.

Sharing that information without him knowing/consenting to it being shared can also very easily breed anger, bitterness and resentment.

The secrecy could be pretty damaging as your older son is bound to find out as soon as your younger son is old enough to start spending the money. Your DH doesn't seem to have any concerns about your elder son's feelings or wellbeing and he is pretty much telling you how to behave, i.e. don't tell your elder son about the inheritances, don't use your own will to try and mitigate the impact on your elder son. You should do what you think is best for both children, not just your youngest.

This is by no means aimed at you op but some of these responses are making me laugh. How many of you on this thread is waiting for an inheritance? Don't anyone work for their shit or are you waiting for it to be handed to you?

How is he an artist?

Piss artist?

Is MC’s baby daddy surely 🤨

More confusion, who is MC?

Depends on how much are we talking here and how old your DC are? If your youngest DC is an adult have they mentioned sharing a small portion with their sibling? I like to think that’s what I would personally do in their situation but I get on well with my sisters. At the end of the day it’s their money so you do just need to leave it be and make peace with it, but if you decide to leave your estate in a different proportion to compensate please discuss this intention and rationale with both children beforehand. Emotions are high when grieving and could be interpreted very badly. We’ve been through something similar in our extended family and it caused a huge amount of unintended hurt.

🤣

Elon Musk

Agreed. The trouble with these threads is that the OP sees themselves as the protagonist and the centre of a family tree. As in "these are my 2 sons, raised by me, attention/love/financial support given 50/50". They're not 50/50 or 2 halves of something to anyone else.

I can’t talk to my elder son as it’s my younger one’s story. That is DP’s argument! He says it’s no body’s business but DS2’s and nephew’s .

You are being a bit hysterical. Blood is thicker than water and it's really none of your business who relatives leave money to. I think with your attitude you are actually likely to make the situation worse with the way you discuss the subject with children

@Bogginsthe3rd stop using such patronising misogynistic language. There is nothing at all hysterical about the OP's posts, she seems deeply saddened but resigned to the vile attitudes of her husbands family, and vile is exactly what they are, vile and cruel. Why on earth you would post on here defending someone who would deliberately exclude the females of their bloodline is beyond me, it's no better than writing a child out of their will because they are mixed race, or have Downs syndrome.

Just because people can does not mean they should!

But they are not his "siblings and cousins"

They are his step-brother and step-cousins. A very different matter indeed.

Even if there was no will and a person died intestate then any step-children or foster children are excluded from inheriting.

She's not your MIL if you aren't married? So he's either your partner and you're not married or you are married and he's your husband?!

That's important because you can hardly start complaining about the situation when you aren't even married into the family

DH was brought up by a single Mother. She married the man he now calls dad when he was about 6. They then had another child (my BIL.)

NEVER have they EVER given their 2 sons anything different.

I hear you OP.

X

Are you likely to inherit from your parents? If you do, why don't you ask them to give your inheritance to your eldest son.

By the way I'd also be upset in behalf of my eldest son to so can understand why you posted

We’re not talking about Lucien Freud and no one is grieving. Nobody who has inherited really knew him.

This