DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

[TheWonderhorse]

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her.

So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent.

DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene.

IABU, school know best.
IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

Tangential to the point here- I am sure we are all aware of the crisis of behaviour within many of the UK’s schools at the moment. One of the reasons for this that I have encountered is the attitude from both pupils and parents that ‘you can’t force me to/ make me’.

By societal convention, in the reasonably recent past, it was accepted that schools made rules, and had a right to make and enforce them. That right was occasionally abused, and rightly challenged ( especially the nature of the enforcement).

However, recently, the overall ‘social
contract’ is increasingly broken, and with it any power schools have to enforce rules. Pupils and parents are right - schools can’t force them to have a pen, wear uniform, stay in the classroom, sit down, not talk, do homework, stay at home after vomiting, be picked up by an adult or any of the 1001 ‘rules’ that make schools function as collective places of education.

Good point @cantkeepawayforever

Again, as a school governor specialising in safeguarding, this is simply untrue. You can't seriously be suggesting that a school should send a four year old, for example, out by themselves purely because their parent thinks they're sensible? The legal duty is on the school to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the children in their care. Schools will not and cannot routinely hand children over to anyone except a known carer or their nominated substitute. There is flexibility within statutory guidance that a school can allow, at their discretion,

If a pupil isn't collected at the end of the day, schools have to follow legal guidance around the procedure. This includes making all attempts to contact a parent or carer and then, if there is no responsible adult who can (or is willing to) collect them, standard child protection processes would be followed.

You can disagree with that as much as you want, but your argument is with DfE statutory guidance, not schools.

100%. Schools are dealing with hugely complex and changing risks across hundreds of kids. Their responsibility is the safety and wellbeing of the most vulnerable children, and that sometimes means having rules that other people find annoying.

Totally agree with this!! I have no idea how old "Year 4" is but am guessing 8 or 9? At that age in Scotland there are dozens of children at our local (city suburbs) school walking home by themselves, or with friends or older siblings. Schools have no say whatsoever in how children get to school or get back again.

It totally boggles my mind that parents in England think it perfectly reasonable that they have to troop along to school every day to collect a 10 year old, irrespective of how far they live from school, how many roads the child has to cross, and whether or not the child has a mobile phone!

Just absolutely batshit crazy.

What school does about it is up to them, refer it on if they have a concern but the school has no legal power to stop any parent wanting their child to walk home.

There are no laws around age or distance of walking to school. A families' guide to the law states:
“There is no law prohibiting children from being out on their own at any age. It is a matter of judgement for parents to decide when children can play out on their own, walk to the shops or school."

I think its a shame schools are not considered competent to make decisions about what is best about the year group as a whole.
Case by case is completely impractical for a school, so its they are all allowed or they all are not.

Also - how does the school know you will be in the car park, you say you will be, but they have no way of knowing.

I think this is my point, really. School has no legal power to compel children to listen, to stay in their classroom or in the building, to have the correct equipment, to walk around school on the left side of the corridor, to have lunch at 12.30 after Y3 gave finished etc etc etc. All of these rely on a social contract that, in order for schools and their communities to function, gives a level of authority to adults within school to create and enforce rules that take the overall good of the overall group into account.

If our norm is ‘we only follow school rules that are legally enforceable and otherwise act as we wish, according to our individual desires’, the whole process of collective education breaks down.

If there is a specific compelling reason that a rule should not apply - eg in a school where the rule for Y4 is that the child is only released to a known adult, and only when that adult is seen, an exception may be made for a disabled parent who remains in their car - then that is fine.

Let's wait for the horrified post the day OP is late to the car park but the school sent her child out anyway - no doubt in the pouring rain...

I have not had to deal with horror of ‘lost’ children frequently- and I know this because every case is etched in my memory.

In every single case, despite the parent having signed permission for their child to walk to meet them / walk home, their first reaction has ALWAYS been vociferous blame for the school. It is a natural but painful human reaction in distress.

I have been very lucky that every case has been a misunderstanding and swiftly remedied, but they are always very emotionally charged moments.

@CharityShopChic yes it's absolutely crazy. Schools can't keep children in and it's no wonder "the social contract " is dissolving if they make such ridiculous controlling demands about everything. It wouldn't happen in Scotland @StopStartStop because it's against the Rights of the Child. In many ways.

Absolutely this.
We chose a school which we trust to educate our child to the best of their ability, we expect them to employ appropriate staff, provide a safe environment etc. In return we are expected to get them there on time, with the correct equipment etc, to encourage our children to treat staff with respect.
As you say, it's a social contract, rather than laws.

Parents now seem to want it all one way, for them to have all the rights and school to have all the responsibilities

I don't understand why a blanket rule of ok for all Y6 and not ok for any younger kids makes any sense at all.

Some kids will live a few doors down from the school with no roads to cross and an adult at home waiting for them. Others will have a long walk with multiple busy roads to cross, potentially getting home to an empty house. Makes far more sense for parents to be able to make decisions for their kids based on their individual circumstances and the kids' maturity.

I don't think there is likely a general risk the school know about or Y6 would also be stopped. If there are risks specific to some children presumably social services and or police should be involved.

I don't think there is likely a general risk the school know about or Y6 would also be stopped. If there are risks specific to some children presumably social services and or police should be involved.

Agreed. My guess is a specific issue within Year 5, and there may well have been advice from police / social services to make the rule general to avoid stigma, identification, suspicion and the possibility of unwitting mistake with disastrous consequences.

Or a Y5 has been ‘lost’ or come to some harm when released to walk home and the backlash from parents has been so unpleasant that the school decided that to protect their own staff from future blame or abuse, they would change the rules for all.

Parental aggression towards school staff is another area of change over the years. I have not been hit, yet, by a parent. It feels like a matter of time.

Shouted / screamed at? Threatened? Absolutely.

Just this, if someone wants in individually tailored set of rules for their child, they need to home school.

When you accept a place as a school you need to accept rules which are put in place for the effective running of the school. I can't just say
'well my daughter gets peckish at 11.30, she will eat then rather with her year group at 12.30'after all, there is no law to stop her!
'I want her to do PE on a Thursday not a Tuesday' there is no law against this so you have to do it.

Just because something isn't against the law, doesn't mean a school can't do it. All these ridiculous comments "by law the school can't force you to collect your child". Very little schools do is enforceable by law, that doesn't mean they cannot do it. If a parent does not agree with how a particular school works, they are free to move their child to another school

Alternatively, schools need to stop making 'rules' beyond their purview.

Age a child can safely walk to their parent/car/home should be down to the parent in most cases.

Why are so many brittons letting the schools shit on your heads? And why are so many posters madly clapping when the school invents unsubstituted rules?

If the school has a specific concern, they need to share it. Otherwise, they need to follow written instructions (or call social service/police if they have a specific concern).

Surely, there must be some limits? Children have a right to be educated, and shouldn't be pushed away from school just because someone in there decided to make a new rule which has nothing to do with education?

Have you not been reading the comments here presumably from teachers who have been shouted at by parents when something goes wrong in these situations?
A teacher has 30 kids to dismiss and if there are all manner of different pick ups it must be stressful plus what about supply teachers or another member of staff covering a class?

This school is just trying to keep their kids safe. Why do some parents always assume the school is deliberately trying to annoy them or make their lives difficult?? God, no wonder people are turning away from teaching in their droves!

If the school has a specific concern, they need to share it.

Are you sure? Even if that concern is both personal and sensitive eg ‘M’s dad has separated from their mum and has threatened to kidnap and harm the children. He may try to come to collect the children, who haven’t been told of the threat to avoid psychological harm to them, or may snatch them as they walk towards home. To avoid singling out that family or making the children aware of the threat to them, all children in Y5 now need to be released only to a seen, known adult from the classroom door.’

You really think that should be shared?

Or ‘M disappeared two days before the end of term after being released as agreed to walk home. M’s parent has blamed the school for this, including threatening both the vlass teacher snd the head. This is the third time this teacher has received unacceptable abuse when a child has not walked home safely, and Mrs A is on the point of being signed off for anxiety, so we are asking for all children in Year 5 to be collected.’

Again, must be shared? Are you sure?

Safeguarding is, as you will know from many news reports, regarded as the school’s responsibility. If only schools WERE only responsible for education, rather than everything from
toilet training to mental health, from safeguarding to speech therapy, from feeding and clothing children to teaching how to use a toothbrush….

They didn't share why they didn't let y1,2,3 walk home alone though.