DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

[TheWonderhorse]

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her.

So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent.

DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene.

IABU, school know best.
IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

OP, YADNBU.

It's utterly ridiculous to stop all children from leaving by themselves until Year 6. That's way too late when they're only a year from secondary school. Independence needs to be built up gradually and appropriate to the child and the location.

My DCs' school didn't allow pupils to walk home alone until Year 3, which was reasonable and was only a problem for us as our December born then 7 year old was ready to walk home alone part way through Year 2, and he had to wait. Like you, no bad roads for him to cross.

In fact, I remember being in school with him and waiting near a Year 6 child with their mother. I don't remember how the topic came up, but I remember that child asking his DM why my Year 3 child could walk home alone and he couldn't. His DM's response being 'because you have to cross XXX Road to get home and he doesn't!' XXX Road being horrendous even for adults to cross then - it has since had crossings put fortunately.

Unfortunately though, parents don't always make sound decisions. Sometimes they make poor ones with the best intentions, sometimes they lack capacity to make well reasoned decisions, sometimes they consciously make poor decisions for selfish reasons.
Not in any way implying that any of these are you, but that schools have to make decisions in the best interests of the majority. They don't have time to sit there and say 'Jo's parent is sensible, they can decide' 'Ann's parent has some history of poor decision making, maybe she shouldn't be allowed to decide etc'.

Or at home time and go 'oliver has permission to leave, Anna doesn't, jack has permission on a Tuesday when it's Dad but not a Thursday when it's mum's day, Liam can on days where he is feeling well....'. As 1 parent it seems simple, multiply that by 30 children, who may be dismissed by a variety of different teachers depending on what lesson they had last, or supply teachers, or an LSA. Can't rely on the children knowing, or always telling the truth unfortunately, and it only takes 1 error and school has to rethink their whole plan.

Have you been able to discuss with school?

I'm with you completely, OP. Do you know the range of journeys the children will have in Y7? You mentioned your older kids would have a 50 minute walk if you didn't drive them. Do the children from the primary attend more than one secondary and what are those other journeys like? This is how I persuaded my DCs primary head to keep allowing children to walk alone at parents' discretion from Y4. Our secondary school journeys involved walks to the bus, walks across town to change buses or trains, and then more walks from the bus/train in the nearest town or city. There will be Y7 children walking that 50 minute journey your older DCs like to avoid. Not letting children even start to learn to make their own way home until Y6 gives them 9 months to progress from being picked up at the door to making much more dangerous and complicated journeys on their own. This is not long enough. I know children who had a very difficult time in Y7 because of this. And I strongly believe that schools which don't allow children to walk home alone until Y6 are guilty of putting them in far greater danger when they hit Y7 and are having to make these difficult journeys underprepared. Independence is a process that is best done gradually, with small steps, and I agree with you that 50m in Y4 to safe place nearby is a perfect beginning.

I think one year is plenty of time to get ready for walking to Secondary School - they aren't suddenly flying across the globe to get there.

Honestly, what a massive fuss about nothing!

Not really. As a CoG I’d view this as entirely operational UNLESS there was a safeguarding concern in which case there is a protocol to discuss it with the SG Governor then me if needed.

TBH I think you are reasonable. But I’d suggest you wait for HT to reply or better still have a chat and get the low down. It’s likely a very reasonable explanation.

53% of the vote is YANBU.

Typically parents are called and they are sent to after school club if available and parents are made to pay.

These kind of threads make me glad I don't live in the UK. On one hand you have some of the highest rates of childhood and young adult anxiety in the world and on the other you have institutions actively putting barriers in place to stop a child taking natural and healthy steps towards their own independence.

Comments, I didn't mention poll.

I'm from somewhere where it is totally acceptable for 7yo take themselves to school and come home to an empty house. I'm always reading these in amazement how involved the schools are, how there are so many rules in place and so much inconvenience to everyone. I'm likely going to be raising my kids in the UK and I'm already pretty sure I will be frequently contacted by the school and SS behind my door when I'm deviating so much from UK norms (semi-lighthearted) 😅

How sad for a seven year old to be doing that. I don't think that's something to be celebrating.

I used to walk to and from school with my friend from late Y4 and into Y5. If there's a whole bunch of students heading the same way, it seems a bit dramatic that the school have made it Y6 only. I ended up having to get my friend to meet mine and then I'd pick them up from down the road or the friends house (this was a formal childcare arrangement!) because I didn't know if I could be waiting outside on time every day.

This also means parents will block the streets to be nearer to the school.

I don't think we have it that wrong in this country to be honest, most schools let parents decide from Y5/6 onwards which seems about right.
This whole thread seems to be more about people just not liking being told what to do.

The school have now prevented children in year 4 who live 5 miles away from having to walk home alone, which would have been possible under the old rules. Now that could only happen for year 6 children at least.

Omg love, perfect example of the small minded attitudes you'll face @Rewis

The school cannot legally do that. If you want her to walk home alone, she can.

Buy the school a copy of the academic Jonathon Haidt’s book “The Anxious Generation”, or point them to his Instagram account or other outlets. Or the Let Grow organisation.

Over-protection of children in the real world and under-protection from the online world are creating a mental health crisis for young people.

Children need to experience independence, building it as they grow, in order to have self-esteem and become effective adults. It’s a delight that your daughter is keen to start walking home from school and a sign that you have been enabling her to develop her skills and build confidence.

This is a very silly argument. There are serious downsides to over-protecting kids, so it's not a zero sum game.

In what other instances do you think it should be ok for the school to decide to over-ride parental decisions?

Because as far as II am aware,if the school thinks the parents are incompetent, they need to call in the authorities rather than just proceed on their own.

My DD bloody loved it as a 6 year old. She and her friend would hang out with each other, taking turns which house to go to after school, and play together happily. Or go home by herself and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. After that, she'd always choose to stay home instead of coming to the supermarket with me to do the weekly shop.

Strangely enough, that wasn't happening. I assume because parents parented.

Unfortunately, the 'authorities' are pretty useless from my experience. Our school has reported safeguarding concerns time and time again, for them to do absolutely nothing, and children have come to harm despite our best efforts to protect them. We see these children and families every day, and have a significant insight into these children's lives from how they present, the things they tell us etc.

But the biggest consideration is that it's hugely impractical to have different rules in place for each child. On top of planning each day which child is going to clubs, after school care etc, they then have to work out who is allowed to go home on their own, which may vary day by day if a child has separated parents with different views.

The point is, this isn't something the UK "have as a country", aka given by a law.
This is something some schools in the country randomly decide to put into their rules. Is the policy actually needed? Is it the simplest (and possibly wrong) solution to some real problem? Is it a whim of someone who cries "if one child is protected" and thinks that "safeguarding" means children should be put into a bubble wrap?

This specific school was ok with letting Y4 go for half a year. Scottish posters are rolling their eyes in this thread. Many threads deal with widespread misconception that there is some age under which is illegal to let the child alone for a moment.

My last comment on this thread which contains some very strange ideas is that I think the school are trying their best to safeguard the kids under their care and I don't blame them for that at all.

Letting kids walk home and let themselves in at the age of 6 or 7, as has been mentioned here as being fine and great for their development is, in my view, ridiculous.

My final point is that sometimes schools will prefer children to be collected so that they know they are actually going home rather than hanging around with other kids instead.
That is definitely the case where I live in London. There have also been problems around here with kids being mugged for their phones or just generally hassled by older kids on their way home.

It's not necessarily to protect children from adults but from other children.

But whatever the reason and however people view it, the intention behind such a rule will be safety.

But how do you know that for every single child, this did not happen? From the parents? Or the children? You watched them all get safely home? Or you 'assumed' they did?

Parents will say many things. My year 4 daughters close friends mum tells everyone all these things which makes her seem like the perfect mum. The reality is very different, at least 2 nights a week, if I didn't pick her up, no one would be picking her up. But the girl has learned to cover for her mum and will say to the teacher 'I'm going home with X's mum', even if she isnt And we found her 1 day standing outside their house on her own in the pouring rain when dropping off another friend who lived nearby as has lost her key. Since then, she comes home with us 2 days a week and I drop her home later when her mum is back, her mum is happy with this. She has to work late some days as a single mum and can't afford the after school club, but didn't want to tell school this for fear of social care getting involved.

Many childrens circumstances are far more complex than most people except professionals and very close family/friends will understand, and are building their assumptions on what they are doing. It is most likely safe for your daughter to walk a couple of minutes to you, it will be very unsafe for another child to do similar, and there may be no parent waiting for them, and it's very hard for school to work out which is which.
If they tell those for which it us felt to be unsafe (but social services have done nothing despite concerns being raised) they can't but others can, they will have angry parents ringing them up having a moan and pulling the 'well the law can't stop me so you can't stop me, and if X can do it we can do it blah blah blah' as we have seen on here. And schools will get the blame when something goes wrong of course!

I get it's really frustrating for you and your daughter, but I'm sure the school wont have done it just to annoy you.
You said the Governor's were not aware? This indicates the change was linked to a sudden serious incident rather than a random policy change.

Hopefully you can get some answers tomorrow