DD no longer allowed to walk from school.

[TheWonderhorse]

DD is 9 and has been walking from school to a car park just off the grounds (not the official school car park but closer). She's been really wanting to walk home but we compromised at this for now and would work up to that gradually. I signed a consent form to permit them to release her.

So this morning the school sent a letter out saying that they've had a rethink to all parents, and from Monday only Year 6 children are to be allowed to leave the classroom without a parent.

DD is Year 4 but the oldest in her class, meaning we won't be allowed to start this again for 17 months. AIBU to ask the head to reconsider? I know they can't really refuse to let her out, but I don't want to be a dick. I just feel like DD is being held back for no good reason at all. We have this covered and didn't need the school to intervene.

IABU, school know best.
IANBU it's up to the parent to judge what's safe for the child.

Maybe as you'd have to find a parking space, get any preschoolers out of car rather than just swoop in and the 9 year old jumps in the car. Personally I think it's bloody ridiculous. No difference to a child walking to the school gate to meet parents there

So how did the 9 year olds of previous generations manage to not only walk to a carp ark 59 yards away but also walk or get public transport to and from school. A thing that also happens in most other countries at that age?.

I've said many times, we were working up to her goal of walking home

Great - she can do this in y6.

You are so massively overreaching with this you might pull a muscle.

Ffs you didn't even consider whether she could home walk until the school sent a letter. They've now changed their mind. You just say to dd, sorry will have to stop the walks and pick it up again in y6.

Yeah I have an august birthday so was 9 for the whole of year 5.

I would kindly suggest that in past generations most kids weren’t driven to school.

Yeah I went to school in another country so I know and it doesn’t happen in most countries but perhaps many. In NA for example there are yellow school buses so kids wouldn’t have walked to a car park not attached to the school. In Europe cycling is more common and driving to school is far less likely. However at 9 it would still be rare to allow a 9 year old to do this. But then I’m onky speaking on first hand knowledge of 6 countries.

I'd say Yr4 was early for a school to allow in the first place. There must be a reason for their change of policy. Most only allow at Yr5/6 or Yr6. I guess based on location etc. You say it's been ok so far... but maybe others have had issues or traffic near misses? They don't have a list to say your DD only walks 50m but x child walks 2 miles etc
Why not suggest with school they look at Yr6 and Yr5 after March when clocks change and nights are light?
Yr4 is defo unusually early

How is it overreaching? Why does when I began to consider it matter? It was her response to the letter, where she excitedly asked if she could walk home, that made me consider it. I was led by her, she was prompted by school.

I think stopping the walking is bad for her, and I think parents ought to be able to decide what's best, because they know what's involved for their child and the school does not. I think it's a shame that parents aren't considered competent enough to decide, and I can't understand how the school's policy which allows vastly different things for different children (because a walk home is vastly different between families) is appropriate or sensible.

In previous generations the traffic chaos was not as bad round schools. Now it's horrific in a lot of places. Parents and taxis parking illegally, speeding, reversing without looking, parking on pavements, in huge vehicles with limited visibility. Worse in rain and winter. I suspect that's part of the issues they have had to rethink

the head has had to step in to rectify our reckless behaviour

This is the overreaching. You are taking this personally.

It's only early because the trend to disallow very normal things in the name of safeguarding continues.

A ten year old in year 5 can have criminal responsibility but not walk home from school. That's crazy to me.

Or how about they let the parents decide, the ones who will have a much more accurate picture of the possible dangers of the route and the abilities of the child.

Explain the policy change another way? We've had our parental consent overruled on safety grounds.

I think it's a shame that parents aren't considered competent enough to decide

I think you are underestimating quite how many unsuitable parents the dc at your child's school will have. It's an epidemic. The school has the best information on their pupils family set ups, and will likely have reflected on what allowing the Y4 and Y5 students to walk home really means for those particular families where there may be abusive / alcoholic / unsuitable parents in the home.

Forcing a school pick up at the door for those children will be the only opportunity for school (as per their safeguarding standards) will have to check in on these families.

They apply the blanket rule to all so that there is no chance to mess up on who is given special dispensation and who isn't. So that every child up to the end of Y5 has a chance for their parent and teacher to see one another each day.

Maybe instead of getting cross about something minor like this, maybe just pause a moment for those kids who don't have a nice home life like your dd.

The school is in the middle of a huge housing estate. It's very safe, with pathways leading directly from the school to quiet roads around it.

There are 3/4 parking areas and so the traffic is fine as spread around the area.

See my post just above this one.

This isn't about you.

If they let the kids walk then there would be less traffic. Self perpetuating scenerio

No, times were different and children were more independent.
They're also more independent in other countries at younger ages than they are here these days.

Personally, I think we're doing children a massive disservice with all the helicoptering and there's a reason to many child are 'anxious' and incapable of doing anything independently.

Because they have a million other things to do and because, unfortunately,not all parents are as responsible as they should be.
Imagine the post on here if a school messed up and let a child go when they shouldn't?!

Come on, stop teaching this entitled me, me,me behaviour to young kids!

I agree. Total overreaction!

OP It’s been a few months of walking a few meters from school to the car and now it can’t be done for a year or so. So explain the rule change to the child (disappointment well that’s part of growing up too!) and just pick your child up from school - like everyone else, because you’re not special/above the rules.
Then in year 6 start walking independently again.
Meanwhile you’re still free to give DD as much freedom as you like at weekends.

It’s such a tiny issue that’s massively being overblown. YABU

It’s not damaging anyone’s children to be picked up from school until year 6. It may not be what everyone wants but that’s school - one blanket rule applied to all, same with uniform and homework for instance. Spend a few minutes walking and chatting with your child after school and then let them go to a friend’s house alone or something, when they’re not the school’s responsibility.

Safeguarding is very complex and the school is within their rights to determine what they’re ok with while responsible for the children.

If the car park is so very close might you not walk the few yards to the school gate?
I do not think this is a hill to die on.
Having been a school governor and known situations where a child in school is at risk from a parent who does not have custody then I can believe that a school might use this new rule to ensure their safety, in the absence of any other suitable strategy.

Can you explain why it would be bad for her to stop the walk? Like legitimately bad though, not just some reason about you wanting her to do it.

They have a million other things to do, so putting responsibility onto parents to decide parenting matters such as these, somehow adds more to their plate? No it doesn't.

This is completely normal in many other countries. In mine, from the very first day of first grade, students just leave their classroom at the end of the day and walk out. There's no handing over to a parent, or looking to see if someone has picked them up, because in the vast majority of cases there isn't, because they are trusted to walk home and are perfectly capable of doing so.
If a school has a concern about the home life of a student they don't think 'oh we must see the parent at pick up every day, that way we can keep an eye on things", they report to child protection, which is the correct way to deal with these issues.

Right. So you think parents aren't able to decide either. I mean, those families you speak of need individual support, and being collected from school does absolutely bugger all to help the child living with a suspected abuser or an alcoholic. Social services need to be involved there and at that point walking home could be refused. But also breakfast club and after school club, because both of those involve no contact with the school at drop offs and collections. A parent doesn't become suitable or not abusive because a teacher has looked at them for 10 seconds in the afternoon.

Picking up is not a personal experience either. We wait in a yard at a distance from the door and the teacher releases the children as they point out their parents to them/the teacher recognizes them. No meaningful contact happens unless the parent approaches the teacher.

I apologise if this point has already been made. My guess is that a recent event has happened, that may relate only to a small number of children or an individual child, so the school have changed their procedures to mitigate the risk.

In a similar way, when a child I taught was in acute danger if their whereabouts were disclosed and thus could not be in photographs, there was a new ‘no photographing / filming during the Nativity’ rule and the school made its own video and photos shared with parents that never showed the child in question.

Quite reasonably, the child and the risk was never mentioned as a reason for the change. We had some pushback from parents but simply stated that it wasn’t negotiable as it related to child safety.