Would you stop your child going on this trip?

[Rivett]

DS16 is going to a city about 120 miles away from where we live. It’s for his friends birthday and they going with his Mum who will be driving. They are driving halfway today and staying with family tonight then will continue on to the big city tomorrow and will return on Sunday.

The drive is mainly on the motorway and A-roads but I’m not keen on DS going due to the weather conditions. They’re setting off about tea time today.

I’ve told DS I’m not happy about it but of course he wants to go and doesn’t see the problem. I could say he’s not going but I feel bad for my DS as he’ll be mortified and embarrassed. The Mam doesn’t work (they’re well off) and I know the family member who they’re staying with doesn’t work weekends and there is nothing booked, though they have got an activity in mind.

It’s an unnecessary and pointless journey in such shit weather that I think it’s irresponsible of the mother to not change it to next week or the week after. The son gets his own way all the time so there is no way he’ll agree to swapping it for safety
and that’s why the mam won’t suggest it.

I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. You hear so many horror stories about crashes that I won’t be able to settle all weekend.

The more I think about it the more I want to say sorry but not this week.

WWYD?

God when I was 16 I moved to another country on my own and into a squat, getting up to all kinds of stuff. I'm not saying that was great parenting but surely there's a middle ground?? Let your kid go and have fun!

Might depend what region of the country you're on, but round here the roads are okay as long as you drive carefully.

Why on earth would you stop him? You're being absurd. It's car journey, not a trek to the South Pole.

This!!!! Also all the insults to the family about the mother being irresponsible and the son??

Give over. You sound bitter and jealous. And now you don't want to let your son go because of your own irrational thoughts.

You are being very unreasonable and quite frankly ridiculous.

Me too!

It’s an unnecessary and pointless journey

You've said it's for his friends birthday? That isn't unnecessary or pointless?

Unless they're quad biking to the Hebridies, I think your risk perception is insanely ever so slightly off kilter.

It depends where you live and the road conditions. Everything is fine where we are but ai know some areas are icey and bad roads. Can you check the route in google maps and put your mind at ease or valiate your feelings. I am sure the driver would be happy to share the route if you are worried. Also what is the car they are travelling in, a small car or an SUV? Some cars will be a lot safer than others.

Also, the roads up here are fine (north west). I have relatives in the far north of Scotland and they're all out and about as normal. And I have a best friend down south where it's also fine.

So not sure where you are OP but think you're catastrophising as there is no bad weather forecast for this weekend. It's just cold.

Unless you're in LA you're being ridiculous.

It all depends where you live. If you live where I live, then apart from a smattering on Thursday, we haven't had any snow at all and the forecast is dry for the next few days. So you are being unreasonable.

But if you live in deepest Lapland then you may have a point.

But without knowing the basics it hard to say.

If they live in deepest Lapland then they should be used to it!

I have not gone on an optional social trip to visit relatives today because the final destination is a precipitous street and I’m taking someone who is unable to walk far.

I would have absolutely no concerns about travelling the roads in between, and in your circumstances would allow your son to go unless you have a specific issue with the person who is driving.

At 16, DS was getting himself alone from our town to a city an hour away by train weekly, early in the morning and late into the evening, including walking at either end and negotiating all the cancellations, diversions and other excitements of the train network. Driven by another parent on a cold day would not gave entered into my head as a risk factor, after many years of sharing transport to sport and hobby fixtures around the country.

🤣🤣 good point

I was going to say that unless he’s travelling from Ballatar to Aberdeen then YABU but I’ve just checked a webcam site I use there and the roads actually look OK. It’s not snowing and it looks as though they’ve been gritted.

www.meteoblue.com/en/weather/webcams/ballater_united-kingdom_2656565

So sorry YABU, let him go.

This! Ridiculous.

Please don’t text like this. They are 16 not 6!

YABU OP, don’t put your anxiety onto your son, it isn’t fair.

Yeah I have family in the far north of Scotland and they're all in work and driving around as usual.

Hard to answer without knowing where you are TBH. I’m in the midlands and it’s bloody cold but the roads are fine.

Feel sorry for the boy next year when he's old enough to drive with such a neurotic mother

Depends where. If it was round here the last 2 days I would have said no, as weather conditions with snow and ice were awful and weather warnings a plenty, with motorists stuck on local roads for hours. But today roads are fine, no freezing temperatures and no weather warnings

If in UK there are no current weather warnings and given his age you have to let him go

just have a couple of reasonable requests to let you know if has arrived

I think it'll be because it's not that she or family member have had to take time off work or swap shifts etc for it to be THIS weekend. As in, they're a likely to be free another weekend and this isn't wasting any of their AL by postponing the trip.

That's how I took it anyway. Might be wrong. But I don't think it's a dig at them not working - just a statement of fact that it'll be easier to rearrange when they aren't having to fit it around work commitments.

This. It's not unnecessary and pointless to them at all. You are making it all about you when it shouldn't be. I might need to consider seeking help for your anxiety - perhaps something cbt based

My said no do my daughter doing an activity with her friend and parents this week. Good job as the main road ended up closed due to the weather. Other people stuck for 5-6 hours waiting for gritters and snow ploughs. As far as I see it it's your child and your decision. You can look at the roads and see if they are clear on the AA route planner if it helps.