My hairdresser complains about everything

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

I moved to a new area just over 2 years ago and since then I’ve switched hairdressers 5 times. I finally found one last summer, she cuts my hair perfectly but omg she constantly complains about everything… her kids, her husband, her life, her mother blah blah blah. Some of it is quite personal and I’m left thinking how can you share this with a client 😳 Yesterday I got every detail of her terrible Christmas and I left feeling really stressed. There’s no one to complain to because she is the owner of the salon.
I walk away with a great cut but at the very least I feel drained, and at worst angry because as a client I don’t feel I should be subjected to this. I’d like to say something to her but not sure what because I don’t want to swap the ear bashing for an atmosphere, and I don’t want to move on again because she’s a skilled hairdresser.

I haven't voted because yanbu for not liking it but yabu for still wanting to be her client.
There are plenty of skilled hairdressers out there. This one has skills with the scissors but no social and customer service skills. You'll be able to find a good one who doesn't leave you feeling drained!

The only option is to go elsewhere or smile and nod and try to ignore it.

There's no way I would stick it out with this one.

She sounds extremely draining! Could you bring a book or something with you next time and say that you absolutely have to read it for work / book club / whatever so you'll be cracking on with that while she does your hair, thanks

Use your words. “Please can we have some silence today? I’d just to like to relax and enjoy the haircut!”

JFC it's a service not a social.
Go find a hairdresser that's a bit more professional.

It's only an hour though isn't it and how often do you get your hair cut anyway?

I had a similar hairdresser years ago but I found it quite amusing and was just grateful I didn't have to work or live with her.

I like this idea, thank you, I’ll use it.

She doesn't sound like much fun to be around, but that's how she is and how she delivers the service, and if you don't like a service that's on offer then you go elsewhere.
She's going to feel awkward if you say anything and there'll likely be an atmosphere.
I went to a salon a few times where local people and their antics were always a hot topic. I didn't like it, although I liked the way the stylist did my hair, although TBF I'm not that fussy with it anyway, and I liked the price and the convenience.
They're always busy so I assume some people like that atmosphere or could ignore it enough that it didn't bother them.
I stopped going when an old friend went back into hairdressing and doing visits, to support her and because I wasn't that invested in the other place because of the gossip, despite the positives.
If it's bothering you to this point, then find another hairdresser.

Well it’s an hour that I’m paying a lot of money for, it’s also a service that I’m paying for and my sitting there being used as a listening ear for her trouble and strife is unprofessional. It would be nice if I could find it amusing but unfortunately I don’t, and some of her revelations are unpleasant to hear.

Just had another think about this...I mean honestly I would just bin her off...but I have an older relative who is quite negative and her best friend deals with her like this.

"Gosh. It all sounds very overwhelming."

"To be honest, I'm not sure how I should respond...it's rather a lot isn't it?"

"What a shame that you seem so upset. I was really looking forward to unwinding and relaxing today..."

"Sorry, Audrey, I feel stressed just listening to all of this. I don't mean to be rude but could we talk about something a little more lighthearted?"

Or when she's really pissed off...

"Wow, sounds difficult. Did I tell you I had tickets for the Strictly tour? I'm really excited. Have you been watching anything good on the telly?"

She has the patience of a saint. And older grumpy relative rarely takes offence, she's just learned she won't get much sympathy anymore and offloads on the rest of us.

How do you respond when she starts telling you all of this? Sounds like she's put you in a bit of a therapist role?

Maybe praise how she does your hair but don't take much notice or give much feedback about her personal life...take a magazine/book/ipad and just keep looking back at that.

Tell her about MN, she’ll fit right in!

It's not worth the hassle to get a good haircut. Go elsewhere.

Then I'd move on to another hairdresser.

Either way, how is "Please can we have some silence today?" not going to cause an atmosphere?

I think I'd go with the "Gosh that sounds really overwhelming for you, I feel overwhelmed just listening about it. Could we talk about something a bit more cheerful or I think I'll need a lie down after this. I was just saying to my friend last week what a good job you do on my hair. Have you got any plans for the weekend?" all said with a smile and just hope for no atmosphere after 🙈

I had to change my hairdresser for this reason, he seemed to think it was a therapy session. I don't want to talk to my hairdresser!

What was wrong with the first 4 hairdressers, or are you the fussy type?

Be grateful it's just a haircut. My Mum talks like that all the time.

I just don't think she likes anyone!

Take some ear buds in with you and say you are sorry to be rude, but you have to listen to this really important presentation. Sigh a bit and roll your eyes for dramatic effect.

I used to tell my (extremely chatty) hairdresser that I was using my time there to rest and relax from my hectic day. I'd sometimes go even further and say I just need to sit there in silence. Sometimes I'd have a snooze on the chair. After a few visits she got the gist of it.

Just get a book out and read. I was there three hours yesterday and I read a lot of my book.

How do I respond? Thank you for asking this because it’s made me look at how I might me inadvertently encouraging her. I don’t engage in conversation but I guess I sympathise and say the occasional one liner… ‘oh dear that’s awful for you’… ‘that sounds terrible’. So yes you’re right, she is putting me in a therapist role and I’m enabling it with my responses. People are saying move on, but it’s been difficult since moving here to find someone who cuts my hair to this standard, and I have told her how pleased I am with the cut.
Thank again, you’ve really helped

If she doesn't keep quiet after asking her, I suggest noise cancelling ear buds and music.

Can't you say ... only positive conversations today please, I've had my belly full of x moaning

I used to go to a nail technician who was like that. I actually would walk away more stressed out than I was when I went in. She was excellent technician but I gave up. I know go to another business where the technicians are lovely but the most personal things we talk about is about plans for the weekend.