My hairdresser complains about everything

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

I moved to a new area just over 2 years ago and since then I’ve switched hairdressers 5 times. I finally found one last summer, she cuts my hair perfectly but omg she constantly complains about everything… her kids, her husband, her life, her mother blah blah blah. Some of it is quite personal and I’m left thinking how can you share this with a client 😳 Yesterday I got every detail of her terrible Christmas and I left feeling really stressed. There’s no one to complain to because she is the owner of the salon.
I walk away with a great cut but at the very least I feel drained, and at worst angry because as a client I don’t feel I should be subjected to this. I’d like to say something to her but not sure what because I don’t want to swap the ear bashing for an atmosphere, and I don’t want to move on again because she’s a skilled hairdresser.

If I were a more skilled conversationalist, I'd probably try to quickly acknowledge what she's said, then immediately steer away to another topic, but I'm guessing that if you were the type who could do that you'd already have done it.

I can think of a few things that might work once, but ultimately you're not compatible, and there's no way to change that. I'd probably start looking for someone else.

I hate hairdresser small talk so I always take a book and make a clear comment about how i looking forward to an hours peace and crack on with my book / magazine
make no small talk other than what’s absolutely necessary to get your hair cut

I’ve even closed my eyes like I am asleep or meditating to make it even clearer

At my last cut the manager told me he’s trying silence while cutting for his focus and clients peace and then asked for my feedback… got thumbs up from me

The irony is your responses don't sound much different to her dramas.

You have two choices
Live with it or go elsewhere. We are hardly talking about the end of a marriage where kids and a mortgage are involved

I agree with those saying ask for a silent session so you can relax. My last hairdresser was going through personal problems with her boyfriend and she would spend the entire cut telling me about it. It was unpleasant and tiring. Physiologists get paid to listen to other people moan about their problems for a reason, it's not fun, it's work. At the end of the cut I always felt like she should be paying me and not the other way around.

Point taken

No, it's shockingly rude for anyone to keep talking endlessly at another person, or to dump their personal stuff on them. The Op is the client and people offering a service need to understand that they have to offer what the client wants.

Maybe that I tipped her generously and thanked her for a great cut, why?
The issue here is that she’s ear bashing me with her problems, I’ve not at any point called her out on this or responded negatively… just in case you were thinking otherwise.
On a final note what she says about me is none of my business.

They’re not complaints, they are facts

Some people are just like this, my SIL is a bit like this and while I listen to her and can see that at times she has a lot going on she also makes life hard for her self and her expectations are too high, she wants everything, a perfect Instagram family life as well as to be out making money, and her DH to be making money while always being on hand and to be out at spa days and out with friends all the time for big nights. Some people just expect too much.

I was asked for the reasons why I moved on from previous hairdressers so I obliged, they are not complaints… they are ‘reasons’. Then you jump on that post with this… “that’s quite a catalogue of…. complaints”
I came on MN for help and support, which I has been gratefully received from quite a few kind users. If YOU can’t be kind or helpful then don’t respond please.

That’s sounds awful, and just as draining, what an egotistical idiot of a man. Hairdressers are in a professional client facing role and should put the client first, we’re not paying to be a listening service for them, we are paying for them to provide a service to us.
I’m tempted to stop tipping and say that’s my payment for the counselling you received whilst I was in the chair… but the nice side of me won’t do that.

@Starlight1984 no it's not rude to ask someone that you are paying to do a job stop talking.

You wouldn't tolerate it anywhere else!

Dentist?
Taxi driver?
Smear test?

There is nothing rude about stating that you don't wish to engage in a conversation and do not want the hairdresser to talk to you!

There are some peculiar responses here, OP. Look at YeastExtract's. YE seems to think it would be rude of a client to ask for quiet. I wonder if YE is the London hairdresser I went to a couple of times who was great at cutting, but incredibly slow (because I think it gave her a longer chance to talk). She owned a smart-looking little salon but business was very slow, just a couple of clients a day. And I understood why.

Depends on how fussy you are about your hair and it sounds like you are. If the hair cut is what you want just suck it up. It doesn't last long.

Correction, I was asked for the REASONS why I moved on from previous hairdressers, so I obliged. They are not complaints. Glad they provided you with a source of amusement though.
I was led to believe that MN users are here to support rather than castigate regardless of how big or small the issue is, and for the most part users have done that and I’m grateful.
There’s always going to be the occasional person like you though… isn’t there. Sad.

I’m a hairdresser and think this behaviour is awful! I would honestly move on to another stylist. I wouldn’t want to go to a stylist who was like this.

A lot of hairdressers (not me!) are very arrogant and also sensitive and I would be worried if you did say something she would take offence and then give you a shit haircut out of spite. I’ve known hairdressers like this and thankfully my colleagues now are all lovely people. I don’t mean to speak ill of my profession but a lot of hairdressers are horrible 😐

😱 thank you for this, I appreciate your honesty. Yes I picked up on this behaviour from a hairdresser I had who left the salon and went mobile. I stuck with her and she came to my home, her attitude was appalling outside of the salon, and the cut was no longer the standard previously given and I let her go.

Sorry, Yeast Extract: it was Starlight who said it would be rude for a client to ask a hairdresser to work without talking.

That said, you've been pretty rude to OP.

@RedLightsStopSigns it's interesting to have a hairdresser's pov. I've certainly encountered a number of big personalities and women, in particular, with no filter and no need to breathe between sentences. It was why my quiet male hairdresser was so popular for all those years until he gave in to the music and bantz crowd.

Do you think she's giving the same monologues to all her other clients too? So going through a constant moan loop all day everyday? 🫤

@yeastextract stop being a dick, you seem to be looking for reasons to have a go at her when she's done fuck all wrong. Lay off!

This…
“We are hardly talking about the end of a marriage where kids and a mortgage are involved”
Well forgive me but my understanding of MN is that users can reach out for help and advice on any topic. Whilst my basic issue doesn’t fit into the life changing quote you responded with, it was something I needed advice on and gratefully received from other MN users.
So are we all led to believe from your quote that unless we are losing our home or on the brink of relationship breakdown we cannot ask for advice? Sorry but you are very wrong and that is NOT what Mumsnet is about.