My hairdresser complains about everything

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

I moved to a new area just over 2 years ago and since then I’ve switched hairdressers 5 times. I finally found one last summer, she cuts my hair perfectly but omg she constantly complains about everything… her kids, her husband, her life, her mother blah blah blah. Some of it is quite personal and I’m left thinking how can you share this with a client 😳 Yesterday I got every detail of her terrible Christmas and I left feeling really stressed. There’s no one to complain to because she is the owner of the salon.
I walk away with a great cut but at the very least I feel drained, and at worst angry because as a client I don’t feel I should be subjected to this. I’d like to say something to her but not sure what because I don’t want to swap the ear bashing for an atmosphere, and I don’t want to move on again because she’s a skilled hairdresser.

My hairdressers have signs up saying if you don't feel "chatty" just say so, and they'll respect that (phrased more gently). Having said that, my hairdresser is resolutely cheerful, engaging & easy to chat to, so it's fine.

Can't you just say that you'd really appreciate some peace and quiet?
Or as others have said, find a new hairdresser.
post anonymously on google reviews (if your planning to stay with her)

Next time, can you arrive with earphones in and say, 'Hope you don't mind, but I am using this time to catch up on a podcast.' Then you don't have to talk to her.

I’m not sure what you mean by the fussy type.
To answer your question… I have curly hair, the first hairdresser gave me kind of a mullet when she cut the top too short, it might’ve looked ok when it was wet, but when dry it looked hideous… think poodle.
The second one was great, but she left the salon and went mobile, she spent her time in my home complaining about how badly she was treated in the salon, as a result (I’m assuming) she didn’t concentrate and after two consecutive terrible cuts I moved on.
The third one always ran late, I don’t have time to sit for half an hour + waiting for my appointment.
4th one didn’t appear to have a clue how to cut curly hair and I had steps of curls in rows (it’s the only way I can describe it)

Take loads of photos/ a video of your hair just after you've have your haircut, then in a few weeks when you need a trim go to another hairdresser and ask them to do it like that. Be really clear: you want to leave looking just like that. Not longer, not shorter, not styled differently. If they can do it, and if they're pleasant to be around, you can work with them in future.

I speak as a client who's recently just left my hairdresser of 12 years. He started as a one-man business and had a reputation for being calm and quiet. Friendly, but not a lot of chat. He's done well, recruited a couple of other stylists of a similarly calm nature but recently expanded his salon and attracts loads of young women there who want loud music and yell at each other in a friendly fashion all the time.

I felt deafened and stressed after my last visit there and asked him if there was a quiet time I could book. He said he couldn't guarantee it, and he was really sorry about it. He knows it's an issue with clients who prefer a quiet, calm environment but noisy, lively and loads of bantz brings the young crowd in.

Reminds me of my late father in-law, when asked by the barber "How would you like your hair cut" would say "in silence". (allegedly!)

I completely understand what your saying op. I had my nails done by a woman for years it was constant barage about her and her life talking at you. She then had some challenging times including a separation and divorce and it became like a therapy session for her to tell me the nitty gritty details. We had mutual friends and she would also spend the time bemoaning their perceived lack of support to her situatuons and I became so uncomfortable about it all eventually I had to give up and tell her I was having a break from getting my nails done.
I told a hairdresser friend about my above experience to get her advice and she said they with so many people coming in and out sometimes you feel like you need to make conversation and I stated that's fine but it didn't need to always be about the service giver!

One final thought: can you arrive looking stressed, say you have a terrible migraine but you didn't want to cancel on her, and ask her to be as quiet as possible, otherwise you're likely to throw up?

Just ask for a silent appointment, it’s a thing in hairdressing circles.

i do find hairdressers super gossipy in general. I used to have a guy who literally showed me his exes onlyfans account, so you can imagine the level of inappropriateness

I had the opposite.

A few years ago after years of loving how my hair was done I was “promoted” to having my hair done by the salon owner, a man of status and some celebrity - I think I was supposed to be flattered

i managed two appointments with him before I had to quit. He was awful! Talked about himself incessantly, how fabulous he was, how fabulous his children were, how fabulous his life was.

I’m not a chatter in the salon but I don’t think he paused for breath or asked me a single question. I decided I wasn’t prepared to pay £300 to be talked at for two hours.

And another final thought: two salons in my area offer a quiet chair in a different part of the salon and with a stylist who is happy to talk to you about nothing except your hair and to offer you coffee and tea. Both are Aveda salons. You might like to look for a local Aveda salon and ask if they have a quiet chair option.

This would drive me nuts too. I switched nail shop for this reason - I don't want small talk!

The hairdresser I had a few weeks ago had had someone crash into her car and her flat flooded with a burst water tank the day before my cut! But she was still lovely and I was grateful she hadn't cancelled 😆

😱

Going to the hairdressers is as much about the experience as the end result. I enjoy the pampering and the chat. I can't bear moany, negative people. I wouldn't go back.

This thread is making me so, so grateful for my hairdresser 😭It took forever to find one who I was happy with. He knows me so well now that he rarely even asks what I want as I have a tendency to change my mind and he knows what I like. Also I can literally walk in and say 'please don't speak to me, I'm hungover' and he doesn't take offence 😂

OP I do understand so I don't think YABU. People who say it's fussy, well yes, it is, but it's your hair. It costs a lot of money to get it cut and coloured and once it's done there's no changing it until next time (or unless you attempt to sort it yourself!). Also, I'm in the salon for 2-4 hours at a time depending on what I'm having done. It's a long time to be in someone's company! You have to like them - at least on a basic, small talk level - in my opinion.

However, I really don't think you can say 'please can we have some silence today?' as per a PP. It's extremely rude and sounds like you're talking to a small child. Plus I would be worried she would hack my hair to death out of spite.

I think your only options are either ear buds and pretend you're listening to something for work. Or find a new hairdresser.

Mine was talking about her prolapse & her need for oestrogen gel on Wednesday. She’s a good hairdresser so I put up 🤷🏼‍♀️

Every time???

Why can't you ask her to stop talking?

Tell her that you have a lot on your mind and you need to zone out whilst she does your hair.

It's very unprofessional of her to go on and on like that but until you actually tell her then she will continue doing so!

Yes, OP! I had a mobile hairdresser that I took years to pluck up the courage to say I didn't want another appointment. She would moan from the minute she walked through the door and divulge all her problems to me. I felt like a NFP therapist - it was awful.

I honestly don't know why anyone would not ask her to stop talking! It's a perfectly reasonable request.

Um, because it's rude?

Unless you want to tell her, your only option is to move on.

The penny might drop if she carries on losing clients

On the one hand, I get you. I have a friend I meet regularly and she uses our time together to get everything off her chest. It can be quite wearing.

But on the other hand, I loathe having to make polite small talk and don't like revealing too much about myself to people I meet in a professional capacity, eg hairdressers, so I would welcome yours going on about her own issues just because it would mean she wasn't asking me about my own life or asking inane stuff like 'where are you going for your holidays?'

To be fair, you're just unlucky!

It's usually the hairdresser who's the therapist!