My hairdresser complains about everything

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

I moved to a new area just over 2 years ago and since then I’ve switched hairdressers 5 times. I finally found one last summer, she cuts my hair perfectly but omg she constantly complains about everything… her kids, her husband, her life, her mother blah blah blah. Some of it is quite personal and I’m left thinking how can you share this with a client 😳 Yesterday I got every detail of her terrible Christmas and I left feeling really stressed. There’s no one to complain to because she is the owner of the salon.
I walk away with a great cut but at the very least I feel drained, and at worst angry because as a client I don’t feel I should be subjected to this. I’d like to say something to her but not sure what because I don’t want to swap the ear bashing for an atmosphere, and I don’t want to move on again because she’s a skilled hairdresser.

Poor you 😱

@WeCanOnlyDoOurBest Your “complaints” about previous stylists are all totally justified! I hate having my clients waiting even 5 minutes after their appointment time, so rude and unprofessional. I used to have a colleague who regularly ran an hour behind and it gave me anxiety just witnessing it. I also know that lots of hairdressers have no clue how to cut textured hair so I well believe they gave you a poodle cut 🙃

@Pluvia I tailor my amount and style/topic of conversation to the individual client. I have some clients who feel like having a relaxed chat with a close friend, which is amazing. But I also have people who get out their laptop, book or magazine and I do their hair in silence. I have some people who talk about the latest Netflix series, some who like to reminisce about 90s music, some who tell me about their grandkids or dogs, or how they travelled through Asia in the 80s.

If a client wants to moan at me - about their job, money worries, their broken boiler, annoying husband or their ill health, I will sympathise etc and act as a therapist. That’s fine as I’m the one being paid! I would never speak in a negative way or have a moan at a client ever! I mean, the odd throwaway comment about the weather being crap or something but generally I want the conversation to be upbeat and pleasant.

I have one or two clients that are VERY moany and it is draining but that’s their prerogative and it’s my job.

You are proving the point of my first sentence.

Have a great weekend 🙂

We have a moaning hairdresser , my adult daughter says she feels more like her therapist than a client , but she cuts hair nicely and we’ve been using her forever so just put up with her .

She cuts your hair perfectly you say.

Amazing! I would switch off and say mmmm or oh dear to the litany of disaster.

I hate hairdressers talking to me - I can't hear them with the noise of the salon and a hairdryer blasting near my ears. It's stressful trying to lipread through a mirror!

I think you'll have to find a different stylist OP - if she moans about everybody already she's unlikely to take any hint at piping down from you well

I don’t think compatibility is the issue here, I am a paying client, she is the service provider and it’s unprofessional of her to offload her personal and private life onto me.

Or just pretend you can't hear her so she gets sick of repeating herself!

I feel for you - moaners in life that talk at you are a drain. I think I'd leave and find someone else - because a good hair cut is not cheap and who wants to hear all that?I had a massage person at a spa start telling me her problems with clients (clients being late etc) and I was cross - in the end I said I have a headache. I think with some people once they have an 'in' they like to off load. When you are paying for it - that's no fun. I see going to the hairdresser as a treat. So I'd move. But it's a pain. Maybe try the ear plugs first??

Yes, agree, some very peculiar responses. Unfortunately YE is clearly one of those users who is on MN for the purpose of trolling rather than offering help. She’s persisting in her posts to me, the most recent one that I am ‘silly’. Simply not a nice person.

Ime, good hairdressers are like gold dust.

For the sake of a couple of hours and hair that you're pleased with, is suck it up.

Don't engage. Just nod, add the odd yes and no and be out of there with your lovely hair.

Maybe treat it like a long episode of eastenders? Something that makes you feel grateful for your own life.

Thank you so much for this. I’ve had a few negative and a couple of very unpleasant responses on here which were not called for. I sometimes think certain people only use MN to be nasty. I appreciate your genuine feedback and support

Next time just say (in the nicest possible way) that you are following a very interesting podcast and you really need to hear the latest update, then just put your headphones in, if you do this a few times she will hopefully get the message

Not all hairdressers can cut curly hair. They think they can but can't do it properly. I was told by one that curly hair is no different to straight so I never went back. Why shouldn't OP change if they can't cut her hair?

I also understand why OP doesn't want to sit around waiting for the hairdresser if they are running late. I stopped going to a very good hairdresser because he seemed to think it was acceptable for me to wait up to an hour.

Tbh YE is on the attack, not pleasant at all, and I’ve reported.

Thank you for this.
Yes YeastExtract has been on a constant attack, even using other users posts to be nasty to me. I’ve reported… enough is enough.

The podcast suggestion is a good one, if you decide to remain with this hairdresser.

I hope that none of what you describe is ever used to put anyone at risk, hopefully when you are there very few people if any can overhear.

Personally, if she's a good hairdresser with reasonable prices I'd stick with it. I have really struggled to find a decent hairdresser after moving house- the good ones are all very busy / fully booked constantly and the ones left are either extortionate or crap. I'd make non-committal noises and think about something else!

I totally relate what you say given that I’m on my 5th hairdresser since moving home.
I’ve had some excellent suggestions on here which I’m grateful for. I certainly don’t want to move hairdresser again, so I’m going to disengage when she starts talking about negative issues and just sit quiet.

I had to leave my last hairdresser who kept pausing to show me videos of her children. She then paused for 5 minutes to sort out her bacon sandwich. To top it all off she told me every single detail of how her ex abused her 3 year old. I left very upset and that has stayed with me ever since. Completely ruined my day.

I now have a lovely guy who does my hair. He does talk and ask a lot of questions and I would like a bit more silence but I find it quite awkward. I feel like if the mirrors were not so large it wouldn't feel awkward!

This is most unusual. Ask any hairdresser or beautician , the job in hand is easy enough it’s all the chat and overloading problems from clients that are so draining !!!

Good hairdressers are like gold dust I agree but she shouldn't be using you as a captive audience
Hairdressers should be able to " read the room" and be sensitive to their clients.
Could you take a book or some" work" you need to catch up with urgently?
Say " I hope you don't think I'm unsociable, but I have urgent work" etc etc
If you want to find another( I think I would) could you take photos. " to show a friend" for a new hairdresser to see

I'd honestly find another one.
She sounds a bit of a drain

how often do you have your hair cut?

That was a terrible experience for you, I’m glad you’ve found a lovely guy to cut your hair even if he is chatty. For me it’s not that I necessarily need silence, I simply don’t want to hear my hairdressers negative and complaining issues, it’s very draining.
Thank you for posting.