mentally draining partner in denial or just a twat

[Tivvi]

currently silently crying in bed as my partner goes off to work..daily his alarm goes off at least 15 times (sometimes 5am or 6am) to be snoozed and go off every 3 or 5 minutes to be snoozed and snoozed again until i, the light sleeper, am driven to the edge of insanity.
upon asking please get up and stop this its very stressful, he giggles or sometimes says stfu. the baby (2 year old) wakes up sometimes to his alarm which massively triggers me cause i asked him to stop this, to no avail.
sometimes he will hump his entire body into me and as i am very annoyed at this behaviour he doesn't understand thats the last thing i want (just go the hell to work at this point)
because i was annoyed, this time he giggled and stuck his phone light on max brightness torch mode and got slowly dressed in our bedroom which was to try to further annoy me as he usually also get dressed for work in here unless he's feeling extra dickish.
he then sought out a strong cologne and sprayed it all over himself (as i said don't you do that) (pregnant here and also its not fair or healthy to fill our fresh air with cologne) then proceeded to spray it just over my legs in bed and left the room grinning smugly..

this is a small piece of how this man is petty and driving me completely insane. it seems small but i promise you the competitive nature in him wants to always win and be a bastard to me if i have actual good reasons to think (and dare i say) he is being annoying on purpose or just plain selfish.

im not crying anymore, i just needed to let this stuff out and i often tell him i could make this shit into a tv show or movie of how terribly sociopathic this mindset he has is.
catch my story in hollywood someday i swear. until then i am constantly being given grey hairs for this man's entertainment or petty responses.

he always says he loves me but doesn't know theres a line and crosses it daily to annoy me for fun and says its my fault i get annoyed but this is probably gaslighting tbh and really insults my intelligence because i know he's got the petulance in abundance and lives in denial or just can't actually see what an intolerable shart he can be for shits and giggles.

ty for reading my rant

Oh good Christ woman....obviously he's an utter utter twat but I'm going to have to say it, sorry....why the buggering fuck are you pregnant again if this is him? why on earth would you want someone so immature, inconsiderate and knobbish as a partner, let alone father of your kids? If this sort of behaviour is mirrored elsewhere and not just some weird blind spot about mornings you will have nothing but misery unless you are proactive and make plans to leave.

How pregnant are you? Early enough to have options on this pregnancy and leave?

my thoughts exactly, i sometimes wonder why and remember that he was once really lovely..i guess i think he doesn't understand other humans properly like some terrible but naive alien..i truly dont know why i stay with him at this point..your comment brought a tear to my eye because i'm constantly told its me overreacting ❤️

5 months pregnant and happy to be, just really drained from his attention seeking obsession and wishing he was back to his old self who adored me and was just (less frequently) a teaser which bugged me on the occasion.

Leave. This is your life now - do you want to be with a nasty selfish prick forever?

Classic abuse tactic - be super lovely at the start so your victim lives in hope that you will become your old self one day. He won't. He got you hook, line, and sinker. He doesn't need to change... Ever.
I would seriously consider leaving. This behaviour is not OK and will continue to escalate.

He sounds horrible, and it's likely to get worse. I think you know what you need to do.

I know it is used easily on here but I would think about leaving him. He sounds nasty, is he jealous that you possibly(?) don't have work to get up for and thinks you have it 'easy' staying at home. What a nasty man

It's like putting your hand in a wood chipper and asking people to feel sorry for you when it smashes up your hand. Take your hand out of the goddamn woodchipper! Don't even put it in! OK fine you may not have realised it was a woodchipper at first, but now you know so why is your hand is still in the bloody woodchipper and you're not taking it out?!

"Oh no guys my hand is in this woodchipper it hurts really bad but I thought it was an ice cream machine once but turns out is a woodchipper oops it really hurts" and the whole time, your hand remains in the woodchipper.

Take it out! TAKE YOUR HAND OUT OF THE WOODCHIPPER.

Not married? Leave, don't put his name on the birth certificate for this child. See if he wants you enough to change

He is bullying you.

Either he doesn't know how to treat people he loves well (poor modelling from family) or he is a mean person. If the former, therapy or serious conversations might help, if the latter, I'm really sorry.

Could you get him to read this? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

This is abuse. Very classic abuse. Leave before it escalates.

Utter madness having another baby with this man-child. Yes he's a twat

He sounds like a school bully, the type that also likes to hurt small animals. But as a full grown man this just makes him an absolute arsehole and quite terrifying. I’d run for the hills but probably take some revenge first as I’m petty as hell. Alarms every 2 minutes at midnight whilst he’s trying to sleep, accidentally spraying him in the eyes with perfume as he passes…..

It's not petty, it is abusive.

Sleep deprivation is actual torture. He is taking pleasure in doing things to upset you.

He is a horrible, nasty man who deserves to be alone and I recommend that you begin the steps to making that happen.

He genuinely sounds really really nasty. It seems he is getting pleasure out of being horrible to you and upsetting you. He's not doing it by accident. He is being cruel to you, on purpose, intentionally, to upset you. You must be so tired. I would be furious if my partner did that with their alarm. I would be devastated to realise my partner was intentionally being horrible to me and laughing at me. Please try and leave.

yes he often complains that i'm at home now while he works, ironically he leaves all dishes dirty, he asks me to get his clothes ready for work every day and complains "dinner is never ready for me when i get home after a long day at work)
i am very strong and dont allow this behaviour and always tell him this is the modern day, his mother and father definitely ruined him. shes spoilt him and his dads been abusive so i do tend to understand he didnt get the best upbringing or model for love or family. he has great potential but my god its taking some work and in the meantime he's really my patient i am slowly treating which is very akin to rehabilitating a damaged and ill treated dog.
i know it seems crazy to stay but i do find him quite broken and our toddler loves him a lot so it feels like i can give our love a chance but i am now totally second guessing my patience here with him over this petty stuff...

He is an absolute effing ar*ehole. What a way to treat your partner, especially when you are pregnant with your child. Also upsetting your 2 year old.
It's all deliberate
Is there anywhere else in the house you can sleep although he should be sleeping on the couch.
It sounds like he doesn't respect you OP.
Being pregnant and having young children can put you in a vulnerable position.
Do you have any family support?

Oh gosh. Why in earth does he do so many power trips just to show you he is in charge.
One of abusive tactics is sleep deprivation.
My initial thought was why don't you move him out of your house, then I read you already have a toddler and a baby on the way.
You are not overreacting at all. But any respectable man would do what you ask him to do and just get up without 20 snoozes and spray cologne somewhere else away from you.
Not a big deal at all. If he has sociopathic trait he would enjoy the distress he is causing you and seeing you one the edge. In the end will say that you are emotionally unstable because tiny things irritate you so much. I'm afraid he is a broken man, fundamentally broken and can not be fixed, ever. You will waste your life away with him.
You are where you are, but if I was you, I would be getting my ducks in a row and start making plan to leave. If you don't, he is going to wear you down completely and you will become an anxious wreck. Your children need a happy and calm mum.

Why on earth would you bring another baby into this mess?

No! He’s not a fixer upper! He’s a sentient human who can make his own choices!

Don't do this, for either of your sakes. You will waste your life and energy and be left with nothing.

He's just a twat.

Women are not rehabilitation centers for broken men. If he comes from a dysfunctional home and it affects his relationships, it is his problem to solve. Your love and servitude does not fix his trauma. It just reinforced the fact that this behaviour is ok and has no consequences.
Your toddler loves him? Great. He doesn't need to stop being a father when he stops being a partner. That's what shared custody is for.

Just like you feel his parents didn’t parent him well and and impacted him, your children are watching him and being impacted by it.

Don’t stick around to help him at the expense of your own sanity. Just break the cycle. If he’s the way he is because of his parents relationship then this is exactly what you are doing to your kids by letting them grow up around this abusive wanker treating you like this. One day this arsehole could be your son. Leave for them if not for you ❤️