Neighbour unhappy about HV

[shannue]

I received a telephone call from a HV just before Xmas to advise me that she would be visiting my neighbour at XX date and if she could visit me after.

I have had a very bad experience with the whole HV service in general and have made a complaint about a HV in the past.

Anyway despite me Opting Out this HV still emails, texts and calls every other month or so and she doesn't seem to leave me alone despite me telling her there are no concerns and I will take him to the GP as I always do.

Anyway I saw my neighbour yesterday and mentioned to it in passing that the HV had called me and wanted to visit me after she had been to hers and what was her experience with this HV as I found her quite harassing.

The neighbour got very upset and thought the HV had discussed things with me and said she has breached GRPR and advising people of her appointment, she was very upset with the HIV and wants me to make a complaint for us both.

I am not really sure if the HV had breached any GRPR?
I mean this HV is a real nuisance and is harassing but does it warrant a complaint?

Yes I did think that when she mentioned it to me.

My neighbour isn't very happy at all, and to the posters saying I would of seen the HV come anyway - no I wouldn't because there is a big hedge that separates our driveway and I don't know who visits her and vice versa.

@shannue lucky you to be able to get GP appointments. So many can't.
Oh well. I personally are glad we in the UK have this service.
As I said. Block all numbers and emails and if any sneak through just delete them if you aren't interested.

@PennyApril54

Yes I think if/when she calls again I will just politely remind her that I did Opt Out and know where to go if I need them.

She sounds OK and it's nothing personal against her, I just don't require the service.

@shannue if your neighbour wants to complain then that's up to her.

Your neighbour is technically correct but I can't see how it's really secret that she had an appointment, as long as no reason for the appointment was disclosed.

As to why they keep asking if you want to see them, they would be negligent if they didn't and the fact you were refusing makes them more suspicious you are trying to hide something. I think actually as parents we should be made to visit health care professionals or other professionals on request to avoid the tragedies of children slipping through the net

Yes I agree that there are too many tragedies involving young children.

But my issue is that my DC has seen multiple GP's, Dietitian, and a previous HV and no concerns have ever been flagged and the last GP we seen commented on "how I was doing the right thing" to bring DC in for a minor issue that could of been spoken to about over the telephone (only a GP would of been able to advise).

The HV is an optional service and I think parents choices should be respected unless there are concerns/ safe guarding issues.

I have already told the HV I will take DC anytime to see GP if she any welfare concerns I just don't feel comfortable with the HV service after my awful experience with them last year.

Great. OP/OPs neighbour wins. But at the expense of a HVs job potentially. She slipped up, so lets go to her employer and ruin her life. Take her ability to put food on her childrens table, and force her on to benefits for the state to look after. Because of a slip of the tongue. Technically correct, but morally? In the gutter.

If OP/neighbour really needs to make the point, tell her herself, tell her someone else might go to her employer. Unless she's a danger or truly horrible, don't ruin her life to win points.

No wonder the rest of us struggle to get GP appts when people are clogging up the system by insisting on seeing them for issues that could have been raised with the HV!

Does the HV know about the big hedge??!

@Everanewbie if you work in healthcare, the importance of confidentiality is drummed into you from day one. The HV will know this. She's unlike to be sacked for it. But it's not acceptable.

Not quite the same, is it? I expect quite a few people have seen the neighbour pushing her "private medical information" round in a pram.

My neighbours might have known I had a baby but for many of the reasons my HV was visiting I wouldn't be comfortable with them knowing. In fact for 3 months my HV was acting as a mental health worker. I saw my cpn one week and my HV the next week as I needed weekly support and the mental health team couldn't provide it.
They might have known I had a baby but they didn't know I had a baby with developmental delays who wouldn't smile and wasn't turning to sounds at 4 months
They might have known I had a baby but they didn't know I had psychosis and my HV was seeing me to make sure I had enough insight to not be a risk
They might have known I had an older baby but they didn't know I had a baby that wouldn't eat and wasn't gaining weight
They might have known I had a nearly 2 year old but they wouldn't have known that she had speech regression and there were concerns again about her development
They might have known I had a 3 year old but they wouldn't have known that my daughters paediatrician had referred me to the HV because I was struggling to cope with her illnesses and mine.

To get the help I have absolutely needed from the HV I have had to have absolute trust in them to show them my most vulnerable self. A neighbour that might happen to glance out of the window in the 90 seconds the HV is stood on at my door in a coat and probably not completely identifiable is very much different from a HV categorically saying they would be visiting me. HV deal with such a broad array of issues and mothers and families have to feel trust in them. Without me trusting them I couldn't disclose tricky things to them and it was only through doing that that they could trust me to disclose difficult things and that trust allowed me to stay in my own home for as long as possible.
It might seem like a minor thing but it is small breeches of confidentiality like this that makes people mistrust professionals when they most need them and that will impact the support that these vulnerable mothers will be getting when most in need.

I'm not calling for her job but it should be raised, it might have been a slip but it's something she should be informed about so in the future she will be more careful about phrasing.

This you are BU, HV are to protect the children not to harass you.

@Superscientist
I'm sorry to hear what you went through, that sounds really tough, I hope your OK and it sounds like you had a good HV.

I agree that trust is paramount in this kind of setting.
You make very valid points.

When I did see the HV at first when my partner had gone she would ask "if everything was OK between us" and when I laughed and said it was fine she said it was mandatory to ask every mother.

Having said that imagine a mother was experiencing domestic violence, she has to have trust in the HV to disclose such a sensitive issue.

The neighbour seemed mortified when I told her, it was just a passing comment.

Ironically when the HV disclosed the neighbours appointment she said to me "everything is completely confidential" well obviously it isn't.

I did consider just letting her come the once to see and I have thought about but I would worry about my confidentiality.

I agree HV should not have been so specific about who she was visiting but I’m not sure she’s disclosed anything confidential. It’s pretty standard for someone with a baby to have a routine HV appointment. I’m not sure any GDPR rules have been broken either in terms of disclosing name, sensitive personal data. Just “I’ll be visiting your next door neighbour”.
just leave it. If you politely decline an appointment, it’s usually not an issue for them. I did this recently for my 2 year olds review. It’s my second child, we have the questionnaire to benchmark his development, we are across it and won’t get anything from it. HV was fine, checked whether ds was in any nursery setting and reminded me when they were if anything changed. Nothing more from it.

Don’t be ridiculous. The HV was in the area and wanted to make the best use of her one.

Aw bless ya,IV had a bad experience with a hv aswel,my now 2 year old when I had him he had a funny shaed head,most baby's do I get that coz all my other kids had funny shaped heads but he's was different,I felt in my self it was wrong,passed all he's checks,the came to see him about 8 months old told her I'm still concerned about it,she laughed at me,told me it's fine it will go normal eventually,I still couldn't get it out my head she was wrong,he wasn't sitting up making no effort to do anything a 8 month old would do,he would just lay there if I did tummy time,took him to my gp they asked if I have a hv which I told them my concerns,they sent us straight across to hospital, hospital did a MRI scan and found he had benign enlargement of the subarachnoid spaces (form of hydrocephalus),had all he's tests etc and yh I was right,he did have a problem he had too much fluid on the front of he's brain,but I'm just a mum I was been silly and over reacting,he's consultant gave him to the age of 4 to catch up and walk,he was 26 months when he started walking and that was about 6 weeks ago and now he's running everywhere get the attitude of satan but I love it,I got a letter recently to tell me he's due he's 2 year check,they came I looks on my camera as told them I don't want this hv anymore,there she as on my doorstep like a lost little cat,I ignored it she posted her card so I rang them up and told them again I don't want her,ok we will send someone else,the next appointment came and yes there she was again,so IV left it now,he's already under consultants etc so he doesn't need to see them anyway,there useless,ask you if you have any concerns and you tell them your concerns they shoot ya down,tell her to f@@k off and yes she breached her privacy,she needs complaining about,hope all works out for you tho x

I think your first experience has coloured your judgement, you've discussed what the first hv did and said here and to your ndn, you said your dc have had numerous GP, dietician appointments so maybe they are just trying to help and see you instead of having to see the GP. I wouldn't laugh or be mortified if a hv asked about my relationship, its an opportunity to disclose dv too.

Yes maybe she shouldn't have said she was visiting a neighbour but it's up to your neighbour to raise this. Have you taken your child to the appropriate appointments/clinics that they should have attended? Health visitors, and anyone working with children, are expected to be 'professionally curious', she has a duty of care. We've all seen in the news how many safeguarding issues occur when professionals are persistently denied access to children? I'm sure she has you and your child's best interests at heart. You had issues with a previous HV or this one? Maybe make an appointment at the surgery to see her if you don't want her coming into your home.

@Pearshaped20

Yes DC has been all to appointments and have attended the surgery when requested by the dietitian.

I have explained to the HV I can take DC to the surgery for any checks and did ask if the GP could do the development check but she said no.

I understand that they have a duty of care but there are no concerns.

She left it as "well it is up to you but if she contacts me again I will kindly request her to stop contacting me as I find her quite intrusive with her questioning and again it is an entirely optional service which I do not want.

It's not like my child has never seen a health professional or HV, I just want her to stop contacting me to be honest.

I think some of the questions are asked to all families so for those they don't apply to can feel intrusive. I have friends that are both women and they were asked by the HV their baby was planned!

YANBU

The HV shouldn't have said she was visiting next door.

And I've no time for HVs either. Useless with my first kid, tried to opt out the second time round and harassed. Eventually consented to a visit and she tried to tell me my son had colic, reflux, a tongue tie etc.

He had none of those things. He was just a bit clingy. Thank Christ I was sceptical and it was my second or she could have sent me in a right spin.

The HV is following protocols regarding parents who refuse services . Think of all the children who have died because procedures weren’t followed and parents were left alone simply because they requested it. Trying
to safeguard all children means that good parents will of course feel they are being hassled, but isn’t it worth it if another child is saved ?

Nonsense. HV is universally offered to all but it is not mandatory to accept it.

If the HV's have a genuine concern they can refer to SS who have the power to raise a court order. Even if a family were engaging that might, in some circumstances, be necessary.

Watch out with these hv their a law upon themselves and happily will report you to ss