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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour unhappy about HV

201 replies

shannue · 09/01/2025 11:56

I received a telephone call from a HV just before Xmas to advise me that she would be visiting my neighbour at XX date and if she could visit me after.

I have had a very bad experience with the whole HV service in general and have made a complaint about a HV in the past.

Anyway despite me Opting Out this HV still emails, texts and calls every other month or so and she doesn't seem to leave me alone despite me telling her there are no concerns and I will take him to the GP as I always do.

Anyway I saw my neighbour yesterday and mentioned to it in passing that the HV had called me and wanted to visit me after she had been to hers and what was her experience with this HV as I found her quite harassing.

The neighbour got very upset and thought the HV had discussed things with me and said she has breached GRPR and advising people of her appointment, she was very upset with the HIV and wants me to make a complaint for us both.

I am not really sure if the HV had breached any GRPR?
I mean this HV is a real nuisance and is harassing but does it warrant a complaint?

OP posts:
SeaShellsSanctuary180 · 09/01/2025 12:42

ShinyShona · 09/01/2025 12:33

@shannue It's people whinging about stuff like this that bogs the public sector down.

No it isn't. There should be no disclosure of other people's details and that is why there are laws to protect such.

AlltheClocks · 09/01/2025 12:42

ShinyShona · 09/01/2025 12:33

@shannue It's people whinging about stuff like this that bogs the public sector down.

Hardly!

The HV is causing distress to these two service users by breaching GDPR and harassing the OP with unnecessary contact.

Maybe she’s a lazy HV who’d rather avoid interacting with the more difficult patients so wastes time faffing about with the easier clients? If she focussed on the patients who actually need her help, that’s surely a better use of the (stretched) service?

RosesAndHellebores · 09/01/2025 12:44

Very unprofessional and yes it does break GDPR.

Complain formally that you have opted out and continue to be harassed. Did you opt out in writing. Me turn that she disclosed personal details in relation to your neighbour too.

Your neigh our also needs to co.plain formally on her own behalf.

Complaints are the best form if market research and it's free.

People do not complain about HV's enough because the spectre of SS is held above them by the deplorable in my exoerience service.

Had I had issues when mine were infants I was not persuaded the local HVs had the capabilities to support effectively.

Merrygoround8 · 09/01/2025 12:45

Yes I would complain.

She shouldn’t be saying or even indicating who has appointments and where.

And if you have opted out, you shouldn’t hear from them at all. I opted out and they were fine, we spoke briefly and I assured them I knew where to go for support and this was my third child. I agreed they could keep my number for the text messages (occasionally about drop in clinics etc) but I haven’t heard from them personally since that. Have the mentioned concerns/ tried to “decline” your opting out / have you other involvement with a GP or social services that has prompted her?

Have you opted out to just her, or the central team/service?

I think a joint complaint undermines your point about GDPR concerns but you should complain separately if so inclined.

ARichtGoodDram · 09/01/2025 12:46

shannue · 09/01/2025 12:23

The HV specifically said "your next door neighbour" and it's not hard to work out as I only live in a street with 4 houses.

And it's not hard to work out as neighbours child is like 4 months old.

The neighbour said it isn't professional to be disclosing any kind of personal information on her as it's supposed to be a confidential service.

I feel very harassed as I have made it clear many times I do not wish to engage on their service, it is an optional service and I find it very harassing to be repeatedly contacted when I do not want the emails, calls and texts.

I actually would complain and I'm normally a "just roll your eyes and move on" type.

You've opted out and the HV has continued in contacting you.

Now she's been massively unprofessional and told you about an appointment with your next door neighbour.

Original poster
shannue · 09/01/2025 12:48

I did opt out in writing in November last year and she still continues to harass me.

I explained to her the reasons I didn't want the service and she said she "understood".
I had a very and experience with the first HV.

When I decline she just says "you know where we are if you need us".

I have no SS involvement, no concerns nothing.

I am worried about reporting her due to SS and that's what puts me off.

I wouldn't even know who to complain to.

The HV told me the day, time of the appointment which neighbour wasn't happy about at all.

OP posts:
Superscientist · 09/01/2025 12:49

I'm in your area at X time is one thing. I'm visiting a neighbour or even someone on your road is too specific and to repeatedly contact you when you've opted out isn't on either

BobbyBiscuits · 09/01/2025 12:49

I guess she did breach it in that she shouldn't have mentioned the neighbour by name. There was absolutely no need.
She could've just said 'I've another couple of clients close by, so if you're interested I could pop by after them at x time'.
But that's more of a complaint for the neighbour to make.
You don't want to use the HV so just block her.
I do think it was out of order to mention the neighbour's personal details. If they did indeed do so.

FriendofDorothy · 09/01/2025 12:50

AlltheClocks · 09/01/2025 12:42

Hardly!

The HV is causing distress to these two service users by breaching GDPR and harassing the OP with unnecessary contact.

Maybe she’s a lazy HV who’d rather avoid interacting with the more difficult patients so wastes time faffing about with the easier clients? If she focussed on the patients who actually need her help, that’s surely a better use of the (stretched) service?

Show quote history

Maybe the HV is being persistent because there are concerns which have been raised which need addressing.

Maybe the OP isn't an 'easier client' - maybe she is avoidant.

I am not saying there are or there are not concerns but there could easily be alternative explanations.

Chuchoter · 09/01/2025 12:51

Complain about the harassment.

I did when I had some looney old bat with my second child who had never had children herself and was utterly clueless.

Nevergettheusername · 09/01/2025 12:52

Timetochillnow · 09/01/2025 12:10

Did she name the neighbour she was visiting or just say ‘a neighbour ‘ as this is two different things.

ye any thoughts entirely

Nevergettheusername · 09/01/2025 12:52

Nevergettheusername · 09/01/2025 12:52

ye any thoughts entirely

Show quote history

My thoughts entirely

TriesNotToBeCynical · 09/01/2025 12:53

If a person at this stage in their career has not realised that personal information is confidential and sensitive personal information doubly so, then they are clearly much too stupid to be doing the responsible job they are doing. I wonder what other parts of their job they have no idea how to do, but just blunder along giving stupid advice.

saraclara · 09/01/2025 12:54

It's up to the neighbour to report this, not you. You are not the person affected by the beach of confidentiality.

As for you, you just send the message that you planned to send, and tell her that you don't want or need the visit.

Brefugee · 09/01/2025 12:55

ShinyShona · 09/01/2025 12:33

@shannue It's people whinging about stuff like this that bogs the public sector down.

if they wouldn't waste their time contacting someone who has told them to back off, they wouldn't get "bogged down" with this stuff.

Original poster
shannue · 09/01/2025 12:55

No she didn't mention the neighbours name she just said "your next door neighbour" and I live in a street with only 4 houses and it's only me and her that has a young baby.

The day and time of the appointment was shared.

I just want her to stop contacting me and pressuring me to attend her baby clinic and she send me dates and times of all this stuff that I am not interested in.
She even asked me "what I was doing for childcare and if I worked from home" I just feel it's very intrusive.

The first HV looked all around the house as apparently she had to see where baby slept and has written in the Red Book "Acese granted to bedroom" so she only had to look at the bedroom and not the house.

Maybe for some the HV is beneficial but I have found it very distressing and they have given me wrong information every time.

OP posts:
Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 09/01/2025 12:56

ShinyShona · 09/01/2025 12:33

@shannue It's people whinging about stuff like this that bogs the public sector down.

It's the public sector employing staff like this that bog it down!

A health visitor disclosing who they're seeing is not appropriate
A health visitor continuing to make contact after someone has requested to be opted out is not appropriate.

Thr HV needs to be made aware these are both inappropriate and needs some decent training.

I would consider reporting also OP opt out in writing to all contact with the HV service.

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 09/01/2025 12:58

shannue · 09/01/2025 12:55

No she didn't mention the neighbours name she just said "your next door neighbour" and I live in a street with only 4 houses and it's only me and her that has a young baby.

The day and time of the appointment was shared.

I just want her to stop contacting me and pressuring me to attend her baby clinic and she send me dates and times of all this stuff that I am not interested in.
She even asked me "what I was doing for childcare and if I worked from home" I just feel it's very intrusive.

The first HV looked all around the house as apparently she had to see where baby slept and has written in the Red Book "Acese granted to bedroom" so she only had to look at the bedroom and not the house.

Maybe for some the HV is beneficial but I have found it very distressing and they have given me wrong information every time.

Health Visitors are 98 percent useless. I honestly believe the service needs a massive overhaul. Can't stand them. I've worked with them, i've suffered them as a parent. Total waste of time, money and space. Opt out in writing and say any further contact you will be taking the matter further.

Oneofusisdead · 09/01/2025 12:58

I think your neighbour is overreacting- she has a 4 month old, so of course the health visitor is calling to see her, why is she so bothered that you're aware of this now.

I agree with a pp who pointed out that contact from the health visitor every 2 months isn't harassment. HV involvement is important for child safeguarding, I didn't love mine, but I saw her none the less, as it was about my baby's health and wellbeing

FoxInTheForest · 09/01/2025 12:59

Health visitors don't usually visit after the first week here. Even the 2 week check we had to go to them.
Is there concerns about your DC or is that regular standard where you live?
If there are concerns I would engage, as avoiding services will look like you are trying to hide something.

fhawdugmtsajud · 09/01/2025 12:59

There are two separate issues here.
One is that you are not happy with the HV "harrassing" you and contacting you when that is unwanted. This has absolutely nothing to do with the second issue which is her disclosing that she was visiting a next door neighbour including date and time.
The second issue is not yours to complain about. If the neighbour is unhappy she should put in the complaint about that and not you. I feel like you want to use this incident so that you can complain about the health visitor because of your issue. You shouldn't. The neighbour should complain about her disclosing that she was visiting her and you should complain if you feel the constant contact is inappropriate and unwanted.

DaniMontyRae · 09/01/2025 13:00

Chuchoter · 09/01/2025 12:51

Complain about the harassment.

I did when I had some looney old bat with my second child who had never had children herself and was utterly clueless.

What's never had a child got to do with anything? Do you expect all midwives to have given birth or all teachers to have kids? What about a transplant surgeon - do they need to have received a transplant themselves? People can be good at their jobs without having used the services themselves. Just like I'm sure there are some bad HVs who are parents themselves.

Original poster
shannue · 09/01/2025 13:00

And I have told the HV on several occasions that I will take my child to the GP if they need to do any kind of welfare check.

I don't really why they should force themselves on people that do no want wish to engage in their services.

I don't see the purpose of her visit either as I told her I am straight on the phone to the GP for the slightest concern (as noted by previous GP's who always comment on how "I am doing the right thing when I have felt as if I am wasting their time.

I emailed PALS to Opt Out (refused to provide managers email address) and yet she still continues to harass me.

OP posts:
PennyApril54 · 09/01/2025 13:00

I get where you're coming from but I'd leave it. She can mention it to HV herself if she's that bothered but unless she named your neighbour I don't think she's done anything wrong really.
I also understand why you feel she's hassling you but I'm sure she has good intentions and that's got to be a good thing. So many children and families are not supported/ noticed / pursued and this is a bigger problem.

CandidOchreShark · 09/01/2025 13:02

The HV is in breach of your neighbours confidentiality. At most they should have said 'I'll be in your area, can I visit?"
Please raise with the service.

If you have opted out the HV service, unless they have received a subsequent referral for you or child, then they should NOT be contacting you.
I'd raise as a breach of neighbours confidentiality (ask that their Caldicott (medical confidentiality) training is upto date) and as a failure to respect your autonomy and right to opt out of a service, and/or opt your child out of said service.

I've had 2 HV...one was awful, the other amazing...it such luck of the draw.

Good luck op