Neighbour unhappy about HV

[shannue]

I received a telephone call from a HV just before Xmas to advise me that she would be visiting my neighbour at XX date and if she could visit me after.

I have had a very bad experience with the whole HV service in general and have made a complaint about a HV in the past.

Anyway despite me Opting Out this HV still emails, texts and calls every other month or so and she doesn't seem to leave me alone despite me telling her there are no concerns and I will take him to the GP as I always do.

Anyway I saw my neighbour yesterday and mentioned to it in passing that the HV had called me and wanted to visit me after she had been to hers and what was her experience with this HV as I found her quite harassing.

The neighbour got very upset and thought the HV had discussed things with me and said she has breached GRPR and advising people of her appointment, she was very upset with the HIV and wants me to make a complaint for us both.

I am not really sure if the HV had breached any GRPR?
I mean this HV is a real nuisance and is harassing but does it warrant a complaint?

Are you surprised when they get people contacting them with silly, trivial complaints?!

I think she’s just doing her job not really harassing
There have been too many sad cases of children dying through neglect surely it’s better to have a HV that does her job instead of another tragedy like little Star x
This is no reflection on you x x x

Yeah and let her flag the OP with SS.

That'll do the trick...

How do you know?

No. A woman should be doing her job properly, and that doesn't include harassing someone who doesn't want to see them.

IMO it is a bit daft to turn them down unless you have very good reason because you stay on their radar, but unless and until these visits are mandatory, HV need to back off when asked.

How can she report that her neighbour's confidentiality has been breached? It's not for her to complain!!!

It absolutely does - if someone refuses to engage with a HV, she would be well within her rights to wonder what that person is hiding! In fact it's her DUTY to wonder!!

But there is no mandatory HV visiting. So the HV needs to back the fuck off.

OP if the info is coming by email, you can just put her email address on your blocklist, or set up a rule that it goes right to your junk folder or something.

Put it in writing to wherever the HV cave is, that you do not want contact and leave it at that. But they will be suspicious of your motives. That is the nature of the beast I'm afraid (i live outside UK. There are mandatory health checks for children that go into a booklet. My boss was all indignant that they were summoned, with the child, to have the child checked over because they were good middle class folk who would never harm a kid and that these checks should be concentrated on problem families. And then one day his 5 year old went in the kitchen and managed to upend a pan that eggs were boiling in, all over himself. He is scarred for life and there was a lot of back and forth with hospitals and the social workers about their "lovely middle class negligence". And yes, they were on a watchlist, the social worker told them that. And why)

Google the trust they work for. If you're unsure your GP practice may know. Google for the data protection officer their email should be available Both issues relate to GDPR in a way.

If they won't give you the managers name then go to the top. Don't bother with PALS.

"Good" is a subjective term. I had perfectly nice health visitors as people. But they were about as intelligent and useful as a chocolate teapot. I honestly could have killed off my child, burried her in the garden and they wouldn't ever know. They never physically saw her. Their advice was very off and borderline unsafe. These days they mostly use HCA's who have a qualification level equal to 2 days training. Cheap, tick the boxes, but useless.

The HV is only trying to do her job and checking up on babys welfare. Just let her in once and say everything is fine youll go via gp if any issues etc. they dont want kids falling through the cracks. IMO If youve nothing to hide, play the game. Whats going on with your neighbour tho? Is that a normal reaction from her?? Seems a bit OTT

I misunderstood, the hv is for you and your child who you will take to the GP if you have concerns, I thought you meant you'd take the neighbour to the GP. The hv should not have told you they were visiting their neighbour, that is confidential and your neighbour should complain to the GP and district nurse services, you can also complain, often there's an online complaints system.

The HV service is OPTIONAl it is not compulsory as with any NHS service.

I have had previous engagement with a HV after undergoing a massive operation she came into my home telling me of for not breastfeeding my child when I was also on antibiotics.
She also lied and told me it was a legal requirement to have a HV.

If this was a man behaving like this in a professional capacity I'm sure the attitude would be different.

I have engaged with the HV several times on the last year and no concerns have been raised.

As a human being I should be able to decline a service and be left alone and not be persistently harassed with a service I do not wish to have.

I can understand the cases where children have been murdered I.e Arthur, Star, Peter etc hence why I have told this HV numerous times that I am happy to see the GP to see my child anytime.

The HV was asking about my birth over the phone on the first occasion and it actually made me feel quite depressed going through everything and answering her intrusive questions.

I had a horrendous birth and required emergency surgery and it brings back bad memories from having the first HV and how nasty she was too me.

The neighbour will be making a complaint as she is not happy - all I did was make a passing comment with no malice intended.

Just contact the GP and community nurse practice, you can both do this, leave a paper trail.

Your neighbour is right that the HV should not have let you know she had an appointment with your neighbour.

I think it’s fine to make a complaint. You can also try blocking the HV’s number and email (though I appreciate that might not be effective or a good idea if she doesn’t use a single address/number specific to her).

It’s also fine to tell an HV, who you’ve politely asked to leave you alone and whose services you’ve opted out of, to fuck off.

I moved here 6 months ago and she said because I am new to the area they are required to do a home visit.

The HV service is OPTIONAl it is not compulsory as with any NHS service.

It’s either required or it’s optional.

If it’s required, then let her visit, else she’s going to keep contacting you.

If it’s optional, then just refuse and let her contact SS if she’s concerned.

You’ve already told the neighbour now so that can’t be changed, but I wouldn’t get involved now.

You are involving yourself with the HV and now they will have to contact you to follow up on the complaint, something that you say you don’t want but obviously you can’t take it back now and so you may have to deal with contact until this has been dealt with, which is completely dependent on how serious they take her actions.

It’s hardly stigmatising getting a visit from the health visitor. Its a universal service for all families and can be useful in identifying developmental delays and giving advice on common problems associated with being a new mother.
next time you read about an abused child whose plight had been missed because the parents wouldn’t engage don’t blame the health visiting service. They have no legal right of access. Not all parents need support but many do, especially those who have no family support.
Babies generally develop at similar rates. Any anomaly noted by the HV could enable faster more effective treatment.
HV services have been reduced significantly over recent years and one cant but suspect that when children are starting school unable to use the toilet and dress themselves that a timely visit from the HV might have flagged this up sooner.

The HV service is OPTIONAl it is not compulsory as with any NHS service.
I have had previous engagement with a HV after undergoing a massive operation she came into my home telling me of for not breastfeeding my child when I was also on antibiotics.

I found the HV service address and the manager name for that area by googling. I had a list of problems - including the complete disregard for patient confidentiality being quizzed on mental health and contraception in open waiting room. Never got a response at all.

Still did first appointment with next child as frankly quickest way to get rid of them.

With second at time it was the most unhelpful additional burden at most stressful time of my life.

There was a mother school gate she'd been very unlucky losing a number of people close to her including her DP - she informed the school to support the kids and they'd referred her to a voluntary support service.

It was an additional burden - having to talk time off work for appointments especially now she was sole wage earner having them drop in when she was trying to pick kids up at school drinking her tea - any attempt to leave service a sign of her not coping or being confrontational. She ended up doing what I did with second HV - taking family and friends along who point out it was unhelpful or time wasting or inappropriate.

People tend to insist it's helpful or appropriate or desirable because you're getting "support" even when it's anything but for you.

If you can't find HV address try the GP as they may be based there or practise manger may know where to write.

indeed but its a line you can't cross. What people notice is one thing, what an NHS employee tells someone is different.

@trivialMorning sorry to hear of your experience with the HV.

This HV is quite patronising as well she talks me in the voice you use to talk to little children.

I believe this team is based out of a clinic from the email she sent me, I have just found a feedback form on the website so I will use that document my experience with her.

I don't really know what support she would be to me, I'm not depressed, I go to the GP each time my child has had a problem, I have family support. I don't know what she wants.

If she was concerned I'm sure she would have asked the GP to bring my child in to be seen.

When I told her I don't see what use your visit would be to me as I don't require support she said "it's up to you".

But its not if she keeps pestering me to go to a baby group thing that she emails me out (despite me Opting Out) and you call me every other month.

Is she just emailing you info about groups they run and the services they offer or hassling you to see the actual hv

@shannue
I complete respect your decision to not engage and I have been extremely lucky with the 3 HV I have had contact with but I thought it would be helpful, for others mostly, to list some of the things my HV has done, in particular things she has done differently to the GP/other medical professionals when looking at the same problem

Supported me when my GP was saying there was nothing wrong with my daughter - actual answer was over 20 food allergies and severe silent reflux
She backed me up when the dietitian told me it was all in my head and she was instrumental in getting the dietitian to be supportive and gave me proper advice to help me identify and manage my daughters allergies.
Arranged for me to have baby massage and then bonding therapy for severe pnd. GP said I think we need to offer you something more I'll consult a colleague and get back to you. She never did.
Gave me counselling, I should have received it through the cmht but the cpn came once and said he would come back in two weeks, it's been more than 2years not seen him again. It was my daughters paediatrician that made the referral back to the HV to get some more support in living life additional needs when you also have a child with additional needs.

For me, the role of HV has been distinct from other professionals and goes beyond the weighing and development checks although I've also had quite a bit of input from them from that angle too!

@MissMoneyFairy

The first call was after I received a SMS about a home visit in June last year, I called them to advise them that I had Opted Out.

The HV then was quite pushy and wanted me to come to the clinic to see her.
I declined and told her I would take my child to the GP with any concerns.

Second time she wanted my email address to send some info across.

Third time she wanted to see if I wanted to do the 10 month check, again declined.

Fourth time, she asked for my email address again via phone call.

Fifth time, again said she had lost my email
address and wanted to send info over about the clinic changing.

6th time was this week about the home visit and again to ask for email to send me info on the clinic changing and new schedule.
She asked me to come to the clinic again.

I didn't mind the email stuff once but it's like
so unwanted, I know where to go for help.

@shannue out of curiosity what is so terrible about taking your baby to a clinic?
The GP is there for any medical issues obviously but just things like general weighing sessions, advice sessions on things like weaning, meeting other parents, finding out about local groups and organisations etc.....
What is so unbelievably awful about the HV suggesting you go to the clinics and why did you not want to go?

The clinic only runs one day a week for two hours which isn't really ideal given that I work part time and DC is at nursery.

DC is over a year old now, I don't see what use it would be, he goes to nursery anyway.

I think it's the fact that she is trying to force me to do something when I have already expressed my wishes to her, if has the opposite effect.