Neighbour unhappy about HV

[shannue]

I received a telephone call from a HV just before Xmas to advise me that she would be visiting my neighbour at XX date and if she could visit me after.

I have had a very bad experience with the whole HV service in general and have made a complaint about a HV in the past.

Anyway despite me Opting Out this HV still emails, texts and calls every other month or so and she doesn't seem to leave me alone despite me telling her there are no concerns and I will take him to the GP as I always do.

Anyway I saw my neighbour yesterday and mentioned to it in passing that the HV had called me and wanted to visit me after she had been to hers and what was her experience with this HV as I found her quite harassing.

The neighbour got very upset and thought the HV had discussed things with me and said she has breached GRPR and advising people of her appointment, she was very upset with the HIV and wants me to make a complaint for us both.

I am not really sure if the HV had breached any GRPR?
I mean this HV is a real nuisance and is harassing but does it warrant a complaint?

Yes, THIS would feel like harassment.. MP?? Ffs 😂😂😂

that said I’m starting to wonder if Hv is the HV if they won’t confirm contact details…

What do you mean? My point is that, unless HVs visit in the dead of night, in disguise, the arrival of a HV is not going to be a secret from the neighbours. So revealing that she is visiting is not really telling OP anything that she wouldn’t have found out by simply looking out of the window. Obviously if she’d said “I’m visiting your neighbour who has PND and is struggling”, that would be completely different .

In another role I had to visit ‘warring’ neighbours, about 5 houses apart. I went to great lengths to ensure neither saw me visiting the other and when they complained about one another I was diplomatic and tried to show the others point of view. I was very professional.
One day one said ‘Come on Caramac, we all know you see both of us even if do do park a street away’ and couldn’t stop laughing.
Health Visitors ime visit all families, their remit used to include all ages although not often used above school age, therefore an hv saying she visits your neighbour is not surprising. Your neighbour needs to get over herself.

I worked for a referral service so did not visit every family in my area.

Exactly this… HV’s’ have a job to do so meet up with her face to face and explain you no longer need involvement.

The public are quick to condemn should a child/family have insufficient Social Services/ HV scrutiny/ interaction and suffer horrendous outcomes.

Then everyone jumps on the bandwagon and says why why why!!!
Need I say more!! Just engage.

If I were you I would complain to the HV service that she continues to contact you despite your wishes, and also her disclosing the meeting with your neighbour. She sounds unprofessional and they should take action.

This

Thats handy for you isn't it?
You can now encourage your neighbour to make a legitimate complaint against this woman who is just trying to do her job

Surely you aren't serious in suggesting this is escalated to an MP. One child is killed in the UK each week, usually by a parent or step parent. HVs are just one cog of the system to try to prevent this. Yes op's might be a pita, and there might be a clash of personalities, but child welfare is too important.

This exactly, by refusing this and that it may appear you have something to hide. How many times do we slate services when a child is abused because parent didn’t show up to appointments/parent didn’t let professionals in etc cuz they were hiding abuse. Yes of course they need to check safe sleeping arrangements, parents would be the first to point fingers if their child was harmed and they hadn’t been made aware of a danger. She’s not harassing you, she’s doing her job. Hv visits are few and far between after 6 weeks- I would imagine that the more you refuse the more you’re flagged to keep an eye on

It's not routine to still be doing home visits for a 4 month old so the neighbour needs additional support with something and HV has made that apparent by telling her neighbour. I would be pissed off if I were her, especially if my neighbour had then asked me about it.

It is an optional service so HV should leave you alone. Both of you should complain.

Health visitors have a strong child protection role as part of their job and trying to refuse visits and opt out of the service which is pretty minimal now anyway for most parents will look suspicious. They usually have that high a workload that parents looking after their child appropriately and taking them to appointments usually sees very little of them anyway. She should have just said she was "in the area" but don't see it as a major breach of confidentiality as all it meant was that your neighbour had a baby which she maybe thought you knew anyway. It's not like a psychiatric nurse or palliative care nurse disclosing they are seeing someone where clinical details can then be inferred.

Jeez, talk about crucifying a women trying to do her job

Block the emails,texts, and phone calls. If they have to turn up to talk to you, explain you don't want future calls.

That's not really fair though is it, as she shouldn't have been contacting OP, or breaching confidentiality

Yes also saying that if your concerned about your own child’s welfare you will take them to GP makes no sense. As isn’t HV external agent welfare checking which is what safeguarding is

It's massively important for children to have regular contact with some sort of professional body. You have the right to refuse to give a nurse 10 minutes of your time every few months to check that your baby is safe. You might also choose to home educate. Also your choice but from a safeguarding perspective this is a missed opportunity for a professional who is trained in safeguarding to build a relationship with your child and identify any issues. If you are refusing to allow the above opportunities for safeguarding then I would view that as a bit of a red flag. Not all people disengaging with the system are hiding abuse but a large proportion of people who want to hide abuse will do so by disengaging with the system. You have to accept this if you make these choices. I can't say I loved my HV but for me it was easier to let them cast eyes on my baby and give me questionable advice which I nodded along with whilst thinking 'yep, not gonna be doing that' and then all get on with our lives. Harmless really.

ITO the data protection concerns... massively blowing it out of proportion. You know next door has a young baby so reasonable to assume she'd be having HV appointments. It wasn't confirmed who the HV would be seeing. Might not have been massively professional but honestly who the hell cares?! What do you know about your neighbour now that you didn't know before you were given this information? Does it have any potential to do either of you the slightest bit of harm? It's pointless and vexatious complaining about it imo

So you live in a street with only 4 houses and you and your neighbour have young children. Well it's hardly a secret that HV are involved is it ? The majority of families have input from a HV. Okay they should have maybe been more careful but I don't understand neighbours reaction to you knowing they have an appointment with the HV. So what ? Like I said most families will have a HV involved .

In regards to you not wanting HV involved - put it in writing and state you want no further contact from the service . If there are no wellbeing / risk concerns then why would they report you to SW for not wanting to engage ? It's nothing to do with SW unless HV are concerned the child is at risk in some way.

It is not your business to complain on behalf of another person and they would not speak to you about your neighbour being open to HV anyway. You need to focus on your own issues in this matter and not colluding with your neighbour. It takes the value away from what you want to complain about .

But the OP has never met the HV. They don't go around with Neon signs on them. If the health visitor hadn't told OP she was visiting on X day at Y time then even if OP had been looking out of her window all she would know is that a woman parked a car and went into her neighbour's house. Now OP knows that the neighbour is still getting home visits and judging by the neighbour's reaction this is not something she wants everyone to know about.

If you've got nothing better to do with your time, make the complaint.
If you are busy enough to stay in your own lane, then stay in your own lane.

Brilliant response, this:

“User860131 · Today 13:30

It's massively important for children to have regular contact with some sort of professional body. You have the right to refuse to give a nurse 10 minutes of your time every few months to check that your baby is safe. You might also choose to home educate. Also your choice but from a safeguarding perspective this is a missed opportunity for a professional who is trained in safeguarding to build a relationship with your child and identify any issues. If you are refusing to allow the above opportunities for safeguarding then I would view that as a bit of a red flag. Not all people disengaging with the system are hiding abuse but a large proportion of people who want to hide abuse will do so by disengaging with the system. You have to accept this if you make these choices. I can't say I loved my HV but for me it was easier to let them cast eyes on my baby and give me questionable advice which I nodded along with whilst thinking 'yep, not gonna be doing that' and then all get on with our lives. Harmless really.
ITO the data protection concerns... massively blowing it out of proportion. You know next door has a young baby so reasonable to assume she'd be having HV appointments. It wasn't confirmed who the HV would be seeing. Might not have been massively professional but honestly who the hell cares?! What do you know about your neighbour now that you didn't know before you were given this information? Does it have any potential to do either of you the slightest bit of harm? It's pointless and vexatious complaining about it imo”

I agree it might have been better to say "im in the area" but as there was no real confidential information shared I don't think it warrants any sort of complaint- certainly not from you anyway if there was a concern to be raised it would be by your neighbour.

I think most people assume that most people engage with a health visitor so to me it wouldn't bother me in the slightest that someone knew I was seeing one if they were close enough to me to know I had a baby. I also think it's different if your hv said "a neighbour " than so and so at number such and such. If you've done the work figuring out who it is and have approached them then that's on you rather than the hv unless they've expressly said who it was.

Obviously you've had negative experiences before which are maybe clouding things, but a text every couple of months just to check if you are still getting on OK - to me- seems reasonable given what the service is. I did great initially after having ds but it was a few months before I realised that my intrusive thoughts and fears of leaving the house were becoming a problem and I did need to speak to my hv then who was brilliant. If I had opted out, then I probably would have just sat with that and told noone if they'd not ever contacted me again. I definitely wouldn't see it as harassment which is why I'm thinking it's your previous negative experience that's making you feel this way. Not all hv are the same (thankfully).

I think if you feel very very strongly about it, which you seem to then you could put it in writing to them that you don't wish to be contacted again under any circumstances. But to be honest op, I'd be inclined to leave the door open for yourself so if you do change your mind then you can engage on your own terms.

If someone has a young baby it's normal to expect them to have a hv. I'd be more surprised to hear someone wasn't seeing a hv than that they were seeing one. It's like saying you have a dentist! The majority of people do simply because we have teeth.

How many times do you have to tell her no op? If this was anyone else in any other professional setting people would think it is harassment, but because she is a woman who works for thr NHS ( they're all saints you know 🙄 ) you should apparently get over yourself and give in to the boundary crossing behaviour.

She needs to be told that no means no and if she has concerns she has a pathway to follow otherwise she is just causing issues for new mothers that have legally opted out.

She has broken your neighbour's confidentiality and you can report her for this. Your neighbour should report her too