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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Seriously, what is wrong with everyone today?!

155 replies

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 11:45

  1. Childminder announced they now finish at 5pm -was 530pm. They are "going to send me a new contract to sign". Hmm yeah but l am probably not signing it as l have a real job and 530pm is already waaaay to early. Time to find another childminder most likely
  2. Ex announces his girlfriend has moved into my road (for context the plan was for them to live together). Particularly odd as we live in a city with thousands of other roads and no shared children
  3. Drain man cancelled yet again so house still hums
OP posts:
Mama3737 · 08/01/2025 13:19

@WhatFreshHellisThese when you say you've only recently changed your hours, do you mean the childminder has already recently changed the hours, and is now again?

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:20

Dweetfidilove · 08/01/2025 13:15

Ex's girlfriend moving to your street may be divine intervention- childcare issue solved 🤷🏾‍♀️ 😊.

Hope the drains get cleared quickly 🤞🏾.

He isn't the father of the children though! But is good with children to be fair

OP posts:
Mama3737 · 08/01/2025 13:20

CrispieCake · 08/01/2025 13:19

My issue would be, how much notice have they given you, OP? I'd be cross if they've given you insufficient notice that you don't have a reasonable amount of time to find a new childminder.

On the "real job" thing, I do get it. I have one of those very flexible jobs that I can do remotely and make up hours if I need to take time off for the kids, and it is an entirely different kettle of fish to someone who has to be physically present in the workplace 9-5. My husband has one of those jobs and yes, we do occasionally joke about him having the "real" joke although he's well aware that my job can be quite stressful sometimes.

There will be a notice period in their contract that both parties have agreed to and signed, which the childminder will be adhering to?

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:23

ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/01/2025 13:13

You explained it in a nice way but to be fair you still explained that OP classed a real job as one where you can’t do what you like and change your hours to suit, like the plumber and childminder, or those who wfh and pop into school etc, those are still real jobs! And a lot
of OPs struggle here is actually because she works an hour away from her childcare,
not because anyone doesn’t have a real job.

The job pre-dates the child / childcare nightmare, they have been understanding and flexible so far so l am reluctant to leave. Plus living in a city then up to an hours travel to work isn't that noteworthy, like l said no point in childcare by work

OP posts:
MiraculousLadybug · 08/01/2025 13:24

I'm with you OP. My childcare closed for half the week before Christmas and they've done two days and suddenly closed again this week, as well as having two weeks off in the middle. They seem to do it so flippantly. How am I supposed to do my work?

Then on the school drop off this morning, I was in a car park and had the door wide open to put toddler DD back into her car seat, I was next to four empty parking spaces and some dense cow drove into my open door trying to park over the line on my side (so she wouldn't have even been able to open her own door), then instead of removing her car from my door she just sat there waiting for me to close the door and then carried on trying to park, then she decided she was going to do a runner and I couldn't get her reg fast enough to report her so now I am going to have to get the door fixed out of my own pocket.

Then I went to soft play with DD and the woman behind the counter refused to sell me a vanilla flavour milkshake even though it was right next to the till in a display fridge, because she couldn't find it on the till, then she worked out it was put in as "ice cream flavour" and proceeded to lecture me until I pointed to the word vanilla on the carton, then she did three people's orders who came in after me while I stood waiting for my coffee.

I think the frost is getting to people today. Hope your day picks up.

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:28

Mama3737 · 08/01/2025 13:19

@WhatFreshHellisThese when you say you've only recently changed your hours, do you mean the childminder has already recently changed the hours, and is now again?

Yep. It was a day change at their request e.g. swapping Tuesday for Wednesday which also meant a working hours tweak for me

OP posts:
NovemberMorn · 08/01/2025 13:28

When you are having a particularly crappy day, it's good to talk it out, even with strangers online.

Maybe not Mumsnet though.😆

MinnieBalloon · 08/01/2025 13:28

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:18

I think culturally things are more flexible and it has filtered down somewhat. Not so much in my neck of the woods as some things have to be done face to face. I have read a lot of threads on here about nurseries trying to close up early and send children home early on spurious grounds

I am not going to get into real jobs thing again as l have explained it a number of times and getting a bit bored now

You haven’t explained it at all. You’ve given some waffle that makes absolutely no sense.

hookiewookie29 · 08/01/2025 13:29

Your childminder would have thought long and hard about this- she would have realised that she would potentially lose families because of it but has to take that risk
Childminding is hard- low pay, and insecure but many minders- including myself- do it because they want to stay at home with their own children. We don't get lunch breaks, or tea breaks,struggle to fit in doctors and dentist appointments, and leaves little time for your own children if you're open for 10 hours a day. Maybe this is the reason why she's reducing her hours- sometimes, something has to give!

Cheesypasta · 08/01/2025 13:29

Can we all chill out about 'real jobs'? OP had said this was a vent, it's not a policy paper on the employment market. Poster who called it 'vile' should get some perspective.

Just adding OP that your reply to your ex about the takeaways and parking was perfect 😎

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:31

MiraculousLadybug · 08/01/2025 13:24

I'm with you OP. My childcare closed for half the week before Christmas and they've done two days and suddenly closed again this week, as well as having two weeks off in the middle. They seem to do it so flippantly. How am I supposed to do my work?

Then on the school drop off this morning, I was in a car park and had the door wide open to put toddler DD back into her car seat, I was next to four empty parking spaces and some dense cow drove into my open door trying to park over the line on my side (so she wouldn't have even been able to open her own door), then instead of removing her car from my door she just sat there waiting for me to close the door and then carried on trying to park, then she decided she was going to do a runner and I couldn't get her reg fast enough to report her so now I am going to have to get the door fixed out of my own pocket.

Then I went to soft play with DD and the woman behind the counter refused to sell me a vanilla flavour milkshake even though it was right next to the till in a display fridge, because she couldn't find it on the till, then she worked out it was put in as "ice cream flavour" and proceeded to lecture me until I pointed to the word vanilla on the carton, then she did three people's orders who came in after me while I stood waiting for my coffee.

I think the frost is getting to people today. Hope your day picks up.

That's a lot of down time. What explanations have you got?

I HATE people who do that when they prang cars. That is before you even get to the question about why she didn't use an empty bay where she could get in / our of the car!

What was the need for the lecturing?! She needs to know their product range better. Yeah l think people have a mass brain freeze or something!

OP posts:
Kashmiri24 · 08/01/2025 13:33

I think these issues are all interlinked. The ex’s girlfriend has sabotaged your drains and your childminder doesn’t want to look after your kids anymore because they smell of sewage and it reflects badly on her business.

HeeleighWay · 08/01/2025 13:34

It's funny how a thread derails because everyone clings on to something that wasn't meant in a certain way. If OP hadn't have said the word "real", loads of answers would have been about the actual issue instead of banging on about "real job". Typical for MN replies though 🤯

Ohnobackagain · 08/01/2025 13:34

@WhatFreshHellisThese he’s
definitely trying to get a reaction. Still, I remember my ex husband telling me to avoid a specific town because he was taking his new girlfriend to one of our favourite restaurants, the twat 🙄

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:36

Cheesypasta · 08/01/2025 13:29

Can we all chill out about 'real jobs'? OP had said this was a vent, it's not a policy paper on the employment market. Poster who called it 'vile' should get some perspective.

Just adding OP that your reply to your ex about the takeaways and parking was perfect 😎

I did think vile was a bit much myself!

I have never lived near a Sri Lankan takeaway before and it has been a taste revelation. Shame they only do takeaway and not eat in. The parking situation she might have seen during the viewing

OP posts:
WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:38

Kashmiri24 · 08/01/2025 13:33

I think these issues are all interlinked. The ex’s girlfriend has sabotaged your drains and your childminder doesn’t want to look after your kids anymore because they smell of sewage and it reflects badly on her business.

FFS l am not on my A game today -this is the solution! Lets hope this doesn't backfire and the ex try to entice me back as he find my sewage aroma very erotic...

OP posts:
2025willbemytime · 08/01/2025 13:39

I'd be having a word about him announcing things in work meeting that are personal never mind irrelevant.

The childminder has been unprofessional. It does t sound like she has given you much notice of the change and she's not taking your job seriously.

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:40

Ohnobackagain · 08/01/2025 13:34

@WhatFreshHellisThese he’s
definitely trying to get a reaction. Still, I remember my ex husband telling me to avoid a specific town because he was taking his new girlfriend to one of our favourite restaurants, the twat 🙄

Cringe for your ex!

I did wonder why he is giving me these "updates". I am seeing someone casually and l haven't mentioned it to him, combination of it not being noteworthy and not being any of his business. We have been apart about 9 months or so

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/01/2025 13:40

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:38

FFS l am not on my A game today -this is the solution! Lets hope this doesn't backfire and the ex try to entice me back as he find my sewage aroma very erotic...

Question is… where did the plumber go?

Confused30somethings · 08/01/2025 13:40

SeaShellsSanctuary180 · 08/01/2025 12:19

Get the girlfriend to look after the kids as so conveniently located and her house probably doest hum as much.

Always best to have a positive outlook

Eh?

Why would her ex's new girlfriend look after her kids? Would you have some stranger not connected to the children in any way look after them?

Random

FatFiatMultiplaWhopper · 08/01/2025 13:41

Schrödinger's childminder: simultaneously providing an essential service, and not doing a real job.

Dweetfidilove · 08/01/2025 13:41

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:20

He isn't the father of the children though! But is good with children to be fair

😅😅 Even so, it's the least he can offer for bothering you with useless information.

It sounds like a crap day and I hope you get it all sorted soon. Hopefully your CM has a notice period too, so you have time to find an alternative.

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:42

HeeleighWay · 08/01/2025 13:34

It's funny how a thread derails because everyone clings on to something that wasn't meant in a certain way. If OP hadn't have said the word "real", loads of answers would have been about the actual issue instead of banging on about "real job". Typical for MN replies though 🤯

Totally typical yes! People go down a random rabbit hole and tie themselves up in knots. I am thinking of the one where people kept on going "why don't you cancel the cheque"?! When that was the least of it

OP posts:
WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:43

Confused30somethings · 08/01/2025 13:40

Eh?

Why would her ex's new girlfriend look after her kids? Would you have some stranger not connected to the children in any way look after them?

Random

Ex is not their father either and never met them in his then capacity as my boyfriend 😝

OP posts:
WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:46

Dweetfidilove · 08/01/2025 13:41

😅😅 Even so, it's the least he can offer for bothering you with useless information.

It sounds like a crap day and I hope you get it all sorted soon. Hopefully your CM has a notice period too, so you have time to find an alternative.

He's better than their actual father but that is a whole other different story

OP posts:
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