Page 3 | Seriously, what is wrong with everyone today?!

WhatFreshHellisThese · 2025-01-08T11:45:16+00:00

1) Childminder announced they now finish at 5pm -was 530pm. They are "going to send me a new contract to sign". Hmm yeah but l am probably not signing it as l have a real job and 530pm is already waaaay to early. Time to find another childminder most likely 2) Ex announces his girlfriend has moved into my road (for context the plan was for them to live together). Particularly odd as we live in a city with thousands of other roads and no shared children 3) Drain man cancelled yet again so house still hums

BarbaraHoward · 08/01/2025 12:56

You can add starting a thread on MN to your list OP.

That is a shit day, I'd be medicating with biscuits.

Btw I thought it was perfectly clear you weren't saying that child minding isn't a real job (could any parent of small DC possibly think that?!) but that 5pm is a pretty fucking typical finishing time and you can't yet teleport to pickup. Don't know what your CM is thinking.

HeeleighWay · 08/01/2025 12:56

All the people assuming OP means they don't have real job 🤯 it clearly wasn't meant like that!

Grammarnut · 08/01/2025 12:59

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 11:50

I am not running down the childminder job. It is hard to get to a childminders for 530pm, getting there for 500pm is nigh on impossible. I have a responsibility to my employer and my co-workers -that is what l mean by a real job so can't just do what l want. In effect if l am leaving 30 minutes earlier a number of days a week, then l am leaving someone else to do stuff, doesn't feel very fair

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So being self-employed isn't a real job? I think you will find your plumber has a real job - quite an unpleasant one, too, and very busy this time of year, so he can't just do what he likes!
I'd move childminders but you sound a bit entitled.

CollectedStories · 08/01/2025 13:00

BarbaraHoward · 08/01/2025 12:56

You can add starting a thread on MN to your list OP.

That is a shit day, I'd be medicating with biscuits.

Btw I thought it was perfectly clear you weren't saying that child minding isn't a real job (could any parent of small DC possibly think that?!) but that 5pm is a pretty fucking typical finishing time and you can't yet teleport to pickup. Don't know what your CM is thinking.

It does sound like an odd decision by the CM. All I can think of is that she's got an oversupply of clients who want an early start and an early finish and has decided that she's moving her working hours earlier. Even then, I would have said it was rather limiting.

(But don't ask me. I only realised after we'd moved away and were caught up on local gossip by a neighbour DH accidentally encountered that our childminder had been conducting a torrid affair with the father of one of her mindees whom I encountered daily at drop off and pick up without noticing so much as a stray glance... )

Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:04

HeeleighWay · 08/01/2025 12:54

It obviously wasn't meant as a comparison to a childminder not being a real job. It was meant as in "I have a job therefore can't do these silly times". I think some people have misread thinking OP was slating childminders, which she clearly isn't.

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@HeeleighWay thank you for explaining it better than me. I was meaning l have a real job, not that the childminder doesn't. The timings just aren't realistic and my employer may well feel the same, even if l could afford to drop the hours.

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BarbedButterfly · 08/01/2025 13:05

Well I have a real job and finish at 4pm. Most childminders finish at 5pm around here. But I get why it is a nightmare at such short notice and the other stuff is irritating

Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:06

CollectedStories · 08/01/2025 13:00

It does sound like an odd decision by the CM. All I can think of is that she's got an oversupply of clients who want an early start and an early finish and has decided that she's moving her working hours earlier. Even then, I would have said it was rather limiting.

(But don't ask me. I only realised after we'd moved away and were caught up on local gossip by a neighbour DH accidentally encountered that our childminder had been conducting a torrid affair with the father of one of her mindees whom I encountered daily at drop off and pick up without noticing so much as a stray glance... )

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Funnily enough l used to know someone whose husband had an affair with the childminder. At least he knew she was good with their child l suppose. Never mind the lack of professionalism and poor morals!

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Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:07

Grammarnut · 08/01/2025 12:59

So being self-employed isn't a real job? I think you will find your plumber has a real job - quite an unpleasant one, too, and very busy this time of year, so he can't just do what he likes!
I'd move childminders but you sound a bit entitled.

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But the guy who was booked in today did what he liked and didn't show up?! That is why l have booked someone else

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CrispieCake · 08/01/2025 13:08

I thought the OP's meaning was obvious. It wasn't about the childminder. I interpreted it as "a job that I have to be physically present for and don't have much flexibility".

Since Covid and the huge increase in WFH, it does feel that some people have become fairly casual about work and that has fed through somewhat to the nannies/nurseries/childminders who care for their kids. Before, work was work and childcare had to be reliable. Now there is a view (which may be right in a lot of cases) that actually things are a lot more flexible. So parents at my DC's school don't take time off for school events, they just wfh that day and pop by for the carol concert or school play. And nannies are more blase about taking time off and nurseries sending kids home if they know that the parents are wfh because "it's ok, they can just work alongside the kids".

But there are some jobs where this isn't the case - they aren't flexible and you have to be there. Healthcare, teaching and (ironically) childcare come to mind, amongst many others. By "real job", I assumed the OP meant that she had one of these jobs and was being slightly pejorative about the other jobs which allow much more flexibility.

Mama3737 · 08/01/2025 13:10

@WhatFreshHellisThese you don't seem to like Childminders much, do you? Funny you commented only on the childminder's poor morals but not the married man's? Weird.

Many families seem to think their Childminder has an obligation to fit in with their exact requirements, and are incensed when this may not be possible. Baring in mind they look after children from multiple families at any given time too. It's so entitled.

If the new hours don't suit you, find alternative childcare. It's not difficult. Or maybe it is, as Childminders are generally in high demand, you know, with them being 'real jobs'

Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:10

BarbaraHoward · 08/01/2025 12:56

You can add starting a thread on MN to your list OP.

That is a shit day, I'd be medicating with biscuits.

Btw I thought it was perfectly clear you weren't saying that child minding isn't a real job (could any parent of small DC possibly think that?!) but that 5pm is a pretty fucking typical finishing time and you can't yet teleport to pickup. Don't know what your CM is thinking.

😂too true. I think we have some Christmas biscuits left... Assuming the children haven't eaten all the chocolate ones

Obviously she can do what she wants but l will have to vote with my feet. I am guessing other people might do as well. At the moment we typically rock up at 520-525pm and line up outside, everyone seems stressed already.

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FrannyScraps · 08/01/2025 13:11

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 12:01

Probably want to work less -wouldn't we all! Surely they know 5pm is so so early. The tone annoyed me as well, contractually yes they can do that but l won't be accepting it even if l wanted to. I already have a flexible work request and l my employer won't let me change it every 5 minutes -l only changed it recently

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What time do you finish work?

Brefugee · 08/01/2025 13:12

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 11:50

I am not running down the childminder job. It is hard to get to a childminders for 530pm, getting there for 500pm is nigh on impossible. I have a responsibility to my employer and my co-workers -that is what l mean by a real job so can't just do what l want. In effect if l am leaving 30 minutes earlier a number of days a week, then l am leaving someone else to do stuff, doesn't feel very fair

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yes you are. That jibe about "real job" was a dick move. Hopefully she hasn't picked up that you feel that way because childminders talk and you need a new one. Good luck, it's not easy at short notice.

Why do you care where ex and his gf live? or do you think you'll see too much of them?

Drain man - highly annoying. But all trades are the same, difficult to pin them down because they are juggling too many balls. Hope you get the drain issue fixed before it turns worse.

CrispieCake · 08/01/2025 13:12

It's relatively simple though. The childminder does have to fit in with their childcare requirements or they need a new childminder. 9-5pm with up to an hour's commute each side is a fairly standard working day.

MrsMoastyToasty · 08/01/2025 13:13

No. 3. Phone your water and sewerage company about the drains. (A private contractor would refer you to them if the problem proves to be in the public sewer anyway).

Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:13

Mama3737 · 08/01/2025 13:10

@WhatFreshHellisThese you don't seem to like Childminders much, do you? Funny you commented only on the childminder's poor morals but not the married man's? Weird.

Many families seem to think their Childminder has an obligation to fit in with their exact requirements, and are incensed when this may not be possible. Baring in mind they look after children from multiple families at any given time too. It's so entitled.

If the new hours don't suit you, find alternative childcare. It's not difficult. Or maybe it is, as Childminders are generally in high demand, you know, with them being 'real jobs'

I was being flippant. No one should be having affairs in that situation as you well know

You have got me on the entitlement one bang to rights. Sorry I want to pay someone to care for my children while l work. Oh actually, no l can't work as l need to finish work super early to collect them so l can't actually work

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ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/01/2025 13:13

CrispieCake · 08/01/2025 13:08

I thought the OP's meaning was obvious. It wasn't about the childminder. I interpreted it as "a job that I have to be physically present for and don't have much flexibility".

Since Covid and the huge increase in WFH, it does feel that some people have become fairly casual about work and that has fed through somewhat to the nannies/nurseries/childminders who care for their kids. Before, work was work and childcare had to be reliable. Now there is a view (which may be right in a lot of cases) that actually things are a lot more flexible. So parents at my DC's school don't take time off for school events, they just wfh that day and pop by for the carol concert or school play. And nannies are more blase about taking time off and nurseries sending kids home if they know that the parents are wfh because "it's ok, they can just work alongside the kids".

But there are some jobs where this isn't the case - they aren't flexible and you have to be there. Healthcare, teaching and (ironically) childcare come to mind, amongst many others. By "real job", I assumed the OP meant that she had one of these jobs and was being slightly pejorative about the other jobs which allow much more flexibility.

You explained it in a nice way but to be fair you still explained that OP classed a real job as one where you can’t do what you like and change your hours to suit, like the plumber and childminder, or those who wfh and pop into school etc, those are still real jobs! And a lot
of OPs struggle here is actually because she works an hour away from her childcare,
not because anyone doesn’t have a real job.

stayathomer · 08/01/2025 13:13

Ontherocksthisyear

I'm sure a post on mums net, and dwelling on these things, will sort it all out.

I’ve actually found if people come along who’ve had a similar experience and you get your rant out, it does!

Mama3737 · 08/01/2025 13:14

CrispieCake · 08/01/2025 13:12

It's relatively simple though. The childminder does have to fit in with their childcare requirements or they need a new childminder. 9-5pm with up to an hour's commute each side is a fairly standard working day.

No, the family fits in with the hours the childminder offers. If the hours aren't suitable, then look elsewhere. LOL at the childminder needing to fit in with the family!

Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:14

MrsMoastyToasty · 08/01/2025 13:13

No. 3. Phone your water and sewerage company about the drains. (A private contractor would refer you to them if the problem proves to be in the public sewer anyway).

Thanks for the tip. But it is definitely the house. Really wish it wasn't!

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Dweetfidilove · 08/01/2025 13:15

Ex's girlfriend moving to your street may be divine intervention- childcare issue solved 🤷🏾‍♀️ 😊.

Hope the drains get cleared quickly 🤞🏾.

5128gap · 08/01/2025 13:17

If the plumber can make PM it'd obviously be better if they looked after your DC, ex's girlfriend unblocked your drain and the childminder moved into your street. I don't know what's wrong with people either.

Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:18

CrispieCake · 08/01/2025 13:08

I thought the OP's meaning was obvious. It wasn't about the childminder. I interpreted it as "a job that I have to be physically present for and don't have much flexibility".

Since Covid and the huge increase in WFH, it does feel that some people have become fairly casual about work and that has fed through somewhat to the nannies/nurseries/childminders who care for their kids. Before, work was work and childcare had to be reliable. Now there is a view (which may be right in a lot of cases) that actually things are a lot more flexible. So parents at my DC's school don't take time off for school events, they just wfh that day and pop by for the carol concert or school play. And nannies are more blase about taking time off and nurseries sending kids home if they know that the parents are wfh because "it's ok, they can just work alongside the kids".

But there are some jobs where this isn't the case - they aren't flexible and you have to be there. Healthcare, teaching and (ironically) childcare come to mind, amongst many others. By "real job", I assumed the OP meant that she had one of these jobs and was being slightly pejorative about the other jobs which allow much more flexibility.

I think culturally things are more flexible and it has filtered down somewhat. Not so much in my neck of the woods as some things have to be done face to face. I have read a lot of threads on here about nurseries trying to close up early and send children home early on spurious grounds

I am not going to get into real jobs thing again as l have explained it a number of times and getting a bit bored now

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Original poster

WhatFreshHellisThese · 08/01/2025 13:19

5128gap · 08/01/2025 13:17

If the plumber can make PM it'd obviously be better if they looked after your DC, ex's girlfriend unblocked your drain and the childminder moved into your street. I don't know what's wrong with people either.

I don't know what is wrong with people either as this would solve my woes! Well, some of them... Maybe ex could be thrown down the drain

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CrispieCake · 08/01/2025 13:19

My issue would be, how much notice have they given you, OP? I'd be cross if they've given you insufficient notice that you don't have a reasonable amount of time to find a new childminder.

On the "real job" thing, I do get it. I have one of those very flexible jobs that I can do remotely and make up hours if I need to take time off for the kids, and it is an entirely different kettle of fish to someone who has to be physically present in the workplace 9-5. My husband has one of those jobs and yes, we do occasionally joke about him having the "real" joke although he's well aware that my job can be quite stressful sometimes.