Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

Physical crimes against other men....against children in car settings women vomiting physical abuse is the biggest abuse risk.

Would you get in a car after being fixed by a female mechanic? I ask because that's kind of the equivalent. Would you trust a car after a woman has worked on the brakes?

In 2021, males were 98.5% of defendants in child sex abuse cases. Why people don’t think such statistics are a concern for their child in childcare looked after by men, I don’t understand. It’s not worth the risk.

https://www.csacentre.org.uk/app/uploads/2023/09/Child-sexual-abuse-in-2021-22-Trends-in-official-data.pdf

@Wickedclimber its very very RIGHT to carefully risk assess ANYONE with access to my child. It’s about weighing things up extremely carefully regardless of who I might offend in the process.

You are being VERY unreasonable (poll closed can’t vote)

not read whole thread, but your attitude is precisely why the workforce is made up of less than 3% of males

Given the statistics on this thread, the sooner it’s 0% males the better.

@LinnettdeBelleforte listen. when it comes to the safety of children, I don’t mind at all who I offend. You might want to revisit your stats too. As for calling a mother querying the safety of her children ‘ridiculous’ well… good luck to your kids that’s all I can say.

@KeenGreen good. It’s for the best. If it ever goes lower than 3% that will be even better.

@Topsyturvy78 very true. Look out for them all, everywhere I say, and never become complacent with anyone at all.

@Megirlan123 do you have access to any form of news source? If so, i suggest you visit it occasionally and you’ll understand how ‘silly’ I’m being.

So all those not trusting male nursery workers, are you going to kick your husbands/partners out, given that statistics show family members being the most likely offenders?

Well said! People are desperate to appear progressive and unprejudiced to soothe their own ego even when it defies the most basic common sense matters!

Oh fgs!

Some people just aren't prejudiced. The vast majority of male practitioners in nurseries are absolutely fine!!! Absolutely nothing to do with ego - catch a grip!

If you persist in seeing danger around every corner, you will have a long, hard road ahead of you!

There was a wonderful young man working in my children's nursery. He worked with the older children. He brought a different dynamic and was a good role model for the kids. They loved him, and he worked there for years and managed never to abuse anyone.

I can't see a scenario where he would have had the opportunity anyway.

I was abused numerous times in my p/t job as a teen/early 20s. I still don't think every man is a threat!!!

@ForBetterForWorseOrNot well in this instance the car we’re speaking of is a rolls royce La rose noire drop tale worth 23 million pounds, and if the brakes are tinkered with, the whole car is broken and will never move out first gear again so actually no I wouldn’t have a woman work on them if truth be told.

No, but to not be risk aware and vigilant with them is complete neglect and ignorance.

Do people really think that the tiny numbers of vile men involved in the PIE mean that ALL men must never work with children?

The BBC news website recently ran a piece on this, but notable by its complete absence was any mention of one of its key prominent supporters at the time: the very un-male (now) Baroness Harriet Harman.

If a woman like her was (is she still?) a paedophile sympathiser and a vocal supporter of their 'rights' to sexually abuse children as young as 4, maybe we should ban women from being politicians, eh? Never mind the enormous majority of female politicians (as well as male ones) who have always detested and spoken out against this, if we're sticking with our prejudiced, illogical 'principles'.

Also, as has been said upthread several times, sexual abuse of children is far from the only form of child abuse. Have you really never heard a woman screaming at, threatening or otherwise abusing kids?

🙄

No one is denying that there are all kinds of child abuse in many settings by both men and women.

But this thread is discussing one form of abuse - sexual abuse, by men, in a pre-school setting.

Is that allowed?

@adriftinadenofvipers no, I get it. I’m sure there ARE many perfectly sound male nursery workers but the enormity of the potential damage that can be done by coming accross just one wrongun (for want of a better expression) is just unthinkable. It’s like placing the worlds most precious gem stone in the middle of quiet, disused road and hoping it doesn’t get run over. It’s unlikely, but it could happen. It’s just not worth the risk. That’s a terrible analogy but it’s late.

@RocketMalfunctionPending why wouldn’t it be allowed? What are you suggesting? These things need to be openly discussed, silencing will perpetuate the problem. We all know that.

Of course it's allowed; but many people on this discussion forum are pointing out the poor logic and deep prejudice of these assumptions - prejudice that nobody would defend as reasonable if it were based on most other personal characteristics.

Surely you can see how incendiary and defamatory it is for many people to say or heavily imply, as if it were proven fact, that 'any man who wants to work with young children must be a nonce'? Are those who don't share this horrid assumption just supposed to nod their heads and agree?

Nobody is forcing any parents to use any nursery or other pre-school childcare facilities for their own children based on any of their personally-held prejudices against men/older people/Asians/northerners/lesbians/overweight people/short people/people with ginger hair/people called Jessica or whatever, who may be employed there, but that doesn't mean that these irrational prejudices will just be smiled and waved through by critical thinkers when the matter is deliberately put up for discussion.

Nonsense. There's plenty of horrible women out there.

If a young man feels it's his vocation to work with children, I refuse to treat him as a predator! They have a world of prejudice ahead of them for their choice!

@adriftinadenofvipers how noble of you. Great that you’re prioritising the feelings of ‘a young man’ (could be a middle aged or old man) over that of a potentially vulnerable child.

Thank you to everybody who posted about the positives of men working in childcare. it was about 1% men when I started 30 years ago and now it's up to about 2%. If this rise continues childcare will have equality in only 1440 years. I'll book a day off to celebrate.

Why are so few business leaders female? Maybe it's due to young children growing up being looked after entirely by women? How can you tell them that childcare isn't the woman's job when insisting no men do it?

Realistically, there'll always be racism, sexism and homophobia in the world. I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing and not let it get to me.