Male staff in nursery’s

[Itsoneofthose]

Ok, hear me out.. I know this is controversial but today I was shown around a nursery for the first time. I’m dreading leaving my little one, only because I’ll miss her and worry about her. I don’t think my worry is out of proportion or anything like that though. But today I saw two male nursery nurses. Now, I know there are many men who are great with kids, and not all men are a threat to children (obviously) and women can also potentially pose a threat to children but I just don’t know how I feel about male nursery staff. Hmmm. I know I’ll be shot down in flames for this. Nursery’s are well regulated etc etc. I just can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts? AIBU

People need to educate themselves:

Here's a little history on the professional men collaborating to infiltrate childrens settings (schools, youth clubs etc) purely for the purpose of seeking to satisfy their abnormal sexual preferences.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paedophile_Information_Exchange

I see. Agree, I don't want a woman seeing the inside of my plug sockets. Most likely she only took the job becaise she wants access to the wiring for her perverted motives.

Why wouldn’t you be happy with a female mechanic or electrician. If they have the required training and skills to do the job, what would be the problem?

That’s just laughable and not really worth responding to, but sadly we probably have to. Women have always had to work harder than men to prove they can do the simplest things that men claim only they can, because…. Well, why?

Women used to have much more access to “the trades” as they’re called in medieval times and were perfectly good. They also kept the country going via their mechanical skills at times of great need (note how quickly they took to it and learned) during wartime.

The idea of you equating ill informed nonsense and sexist stereotyping to women’s very real concerns about male propensity to violence and abuse is preposterous and very, very saddening. But all too common, in fact normal.

Men commit violence in huge numbers, most of all reported crime and of course the majority goes unreported. Men commit almost all sexual crimes. If only they were so quick to rush to the defence of women’s rights as loyalist women were to theirs. In fact they do the opposite, as the constant pushbacks against women show.

This is why birth rates are dropping around the world. Concerns for the future and financial issues, yes: but ultimately, as those show at their root, male demands on women. Far far too high and we get nothing back.

Ye those female mechanics
So unsafe
Because they're... female?

Bet they were all lovely - pillars of the community. Still laughing at all the women here tripping over themselves with how little Sophie’s male nursery carer is so much better than all the rubbish boring women carers

Unless you are being sarcastic, then you have some issues you need to look. What would be suspicious about a woman wanting to be a mechanic.

Surely the male and female carers must be the same? Because if women are better at childcare then then surely there would be things that men are better at than women? Or women are as good or better at everything than men.

In either of the two latter cases that's the end of equality.

This ass important for us too, especially as we have boys. So important for them to have good male role models.

You did though, otherwise why bother to start the thread. Are you worried about your DH/DF/DBro etc abusing your daughter, because that's actually far more likely than her being abused by a man at nursery.

We need more men in nursery and primary school settings, to show children that men can care for children and it's not just women's work.

I Scandinavia, that bastion of all that's good according to MN, there are many men working in nursery and primary education.

Say what now? This has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've read on here. I hope you don't have daughters.

Scandinavia, that bastion of all that's good according to MN, there are many men working in nursery and primary education.

Means nothing.

Europe has a higher incidence of child sexual abuse than the average for the rest of the world.

1 in 5 children are estimated to be sexually abused in Europe.

If a male staff member had started there maybe a year after she started, and she was settled and made lots of friends and you were happy with all other aspects of her care, would you have moved her to another nursery?

Probably doesn't, it's likely just more reported due to cultural taboos and religious constraints. After all, there are many countries which marry girls to old men at 12, this is child sexual abuse and rape, but that country may not recognise it as such and therefore not report it.

In India, i was groped on a bus multiple times, with many men laughing when I protested, even the driver. It only stopped when one local man stood up and told them off after his wife asked him to. I was threatened that if I reported it, I would regret it. Local girls receive the same threats, and have been disowned and sometimes killed by their families in so called 'honour killings'.

The NSPCC has published research on child maltreatment in the UK and poses the question: which type of non-resident adult is the greatest risk?

For children under 11, the greatest risk is posed by a neighbour, family friend, or other known adult (0.9%)

Then there is a non resident relative (0.7%)

Stranger (0.5%)

Adult from an organisation (0.4%). That’s where nurseries and schools come in.

And finally a childminder or babysitter, where the risk is as close to 0 as it is possible to get.

That’s for all types of maltreatment. The risks of sexual abuse are much lower, certainly in this age group. And the most risky perpetrators of maltreatment of children are resident family members.

I guess I can go and read the research myself, but I'm curious to know how they took into account or whether they addressed the fact that there will be wide differences in how abuse is reported. For starters a large proportion of the under 11 cohort cannot speak.

Who is talking about volunteers? These are paid members of staff.

@LinnettdeBelleforte - that was a response to comments made about cubs groups etc.

If you click on 'show quote history' you can read the conversation before judging the comment.

It's completely different - you can't compare the mature sensibilities of an adult woman or older girl with those of a baby or toddler.

A baby/toddler doesn't care whether the person who looks after them, changes them etc. is male or female. As long as they have their needs met, and we as adults use due diligence to ensure that (known) unsuitable people are not allowed to work with them or entrusted with their care, what's the issue?

As we so often see on here, a lot of people really seem to have a difficulty in understanding the difference between 'most of the (minority of) people who do X are Y' and 'most people who are Y do X'.

Worldwide, most people who work in scam call centres appear to be Indian; it's a massive global industry based there. However, this in no way means that over a billion people are automatically any more untrustworthy than people of any other nationality.

Imagine how it would play out if I called my bank, heard a person with a clear Indian accent answer the phone, and outright refused to speak to them, because "Indians are far more likely to try to scam me and steal my money" - and actively sought out a different bank that could 'reassure' me that they would never employ any Indian people, as "it's just too risky to chance it".

What about if I walked straight back out of a shop because, on entering, I saw somebody in traditional Muslim clothing - and 'reasoned' that, because a disproportionately high proportion of terrorists are Muslim, the person running my local shop is therefore highly likely to suddenly strap explosives to his/her body and kill everybody in there?

There are people who would hold with the above two ridiculous viewpoints... but they aren't the kind of people whose opinions I would respect in any way.

Absolutely! Everything we do comes with risk.
Getting into a car is much more likely to harm your child than going to a nursery with a male staff member.
Flying puts a baby under 100 times more radiation than having an x ray, but most people are quite happy to fly but some getting into a flap about an x-ray.

As the saying goes 'there is my truth, your truth and the actual truth'. People are very quick to make assumptions.

The satirical intent in the 'mechanic' posts from @BeDeepKoala seems very obvious indeed. If you're in any doubt, maybe step away from this thread for a while, check your head is firmly attached, then come back for a sanity check! 🤣

Exactly. It’s scary but not surprising. The only surprising thing is that more people don’t find it an issue.

Maybe that's because some women believe all men only think about sex which is rather a warped attitude.